Sunday, June 17, 2007

More Doods

After we went to the Apple "Genius Bar" a month or so ago, Big Kid finally earned enough money to send his IPod to the actual brains who don't work for Apple but are referred by them for service.

When all is said and done, IResQ has a pretty neat deal.

For $29.95, they'll overnight you a padded FedEx box with overnight prepaid shipping, and they'll call you within a day with a diagnosis. You just have to stick your unit in there and call for a pick-up.

It took the Big Kid about 10 days to sit down and write the info on the enclosed card----had to remind him that he was facing 6 weeks of music-less days if he didn't get on the stick.

I called FedEx for pick-up the next day, and gave them an all-day window, since we weren't planning on going anywhere. Also specified that we'd place the box between the screen and master door, because if the Little Guy is outside, Hubby is at work, Big Kid is blasting tunes in his room, and I'm in the basement (still trying to tackle the laundry room), we might not hear a knock at the door.

Put the box out the night before, but Hubby advised that this might be a bad idea.

So I put the box out at 8am the next day before I went down to wrestle with 7 years of outgrown boys clothing.

Came up around 10 and saw the box on the kitchen counter.

What's this? I asked Big Kid.

"I guess it was delivered this morning," he shrugged. "I found it when I went outside."


It's your IPod going out to get fixed!!!!

He put it back out between the screen and front door. I went back downstairs to sort out winter clothes, and to solve the whole fat/skinny clothes conundrum that plagues most of us at some point.

In our big basement purge, I uncovered all the club clothes I wore at 25 that I can no longer fit in. Even if I were the same size now, would I want to wear them all of 15 years later?

I thought about those cheap floozies Kathy Hilton and Dina Lohan and voted no.

Now Hubby fluctuates between a couple of sizes. Most of his clothes are pretty current (like Dockers Khakis). We've stored them big or small over the years. Of course, we still have a few hideous suits (one was a light-blue polyester blend with a red stripe) that many men were sold by clothiers who assured them that they were [gag gag] "timeless", back when he was 20.

I guess it's a guy thing. I had to beat him over the head with a padded hanger to get him to release his death grip on the enormous lapels.

But I digress. It's a bad habit, I know.

Came up around 1pm to make lunch and noticed several packages on the counter. One of them was "The Box".

What's this? I asked Little Guy.

"UPS was here."

No, no no! This box is supposed to be PICKED up by FedEx! So he put it back between the screen and front door.

I was still feeling punchy after my stomach flu stuff, so I convinced the kids to take a nap after lunch. We slept until about 3pm.

Little Guy went out in the front and came in with a box that was delivered while we were sleeping.

From FedEx.

But it wasn't "THE BOX". That was still there between the two doors.

No Way! YES way!

Had a couple of phone calls come in that I had to take care of before I could call FedEx and say WTF?

But first Hubby came home early and handed me a box.

"This was outside. It must have come today." It was THE BOX.

Noooooo! Put it back!

About 5 minutes later, the FedEx truck pulled up and a guy ran down to pick the box up.


You know, if women were in charge of the world this stuff wouldn't happen. ;-)
Shut up, Carm. You know I'm right!


Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there. Here's what I got Hubby, but I'm waiting until the kids are gone on Wednesday to give it to him.


Ma T said...

You could publish this... The UPS Saga or something far more original which I leave to you. And by the way, don't stop that digressing thing - brilliant writers (Ma blushes a deep dark wild cherry pink which definitely clashes with her peepie-shit-green pj tops) use it constantly.

BTW, I've changed a bit; check your email for details. And keep digressing -- I love it!

Beth said...

It's such a pity women aren't in charge of the world.
Which begs the question - how do we stay sane?
Such a crazy day for you...

Jennifer McKenzie said...

*snirk* Nice tool belt.

And I know EXACTLY what you mean about this.

I put mail in the mail box to go out (complete with a little flag up) and my five year old will run out and bring it in.
"Mom! The mail is here."


Brenda said...

I put the mail in the box with the little red flag up and that idiot of a mail PERSON will put my INCOMING mail on top of it and LEAVE it. Gotta be a man, right?

I feel for you dahlin, I'm only surrounded by 2 men and a freaking, bitching, male cockatiel, I'd be insane if the number were higher.

Brenda said...

Oh, P.S. Keep the tools, send me the buttocks.

Big Pissy said...


It's a miracle the box ever made it out of your house! ;-)

golfwidow said...

Considering I've had mailmen leave my new mailbox key IN MY LOCKED MAILBOX and then complain that I haven't unlocked and emptied my mailbox all week, I'd have to say that it isn't just your family, it's a Boy Thing.

carmachu said...

Damn. My reputation must be spreading if I'm being told to shut up BEFORE I even read the post. Heck before I even get here.

*buffs nails*

Thats a hysterical story....

Anonymous said...

OMG! What a headache with that damn FEDEX package! Don't they read the box?!

Heh. You got your hubby a tool thong.

Krishanna Magic said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! That tool belt you got Hubby is way too much information. I could have lived without that seeing that photo for the rest of my life and known I was missing nothing! Heh.

Philip. said...

I guess it's a guy thing. I had to beat him over the head with a padded hanger to get him to release his death grip on the enormous lapels.

You are a hard woman!! - LOL

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Oh my heck.. that is a hysterical picture...
hee hee...

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
LOL! Your husband’s tool belt is adorable…will you post a picture of him wearing it when you give it to him on Wednesday? It’s what every man needs; a proper place to hang his tool.

Your fiasco with the FedEx pickup sounds like a Keystone Kops adventure. You were fortunate that the IPod eventually left….though it sounds like the three men in your life were inadvertently trying to sabotage the plan.

This is a very funny post….

Anna Nemuz said...

You should write a book and be as popular as Sophie Kinsella, seriously

Special K said...

Every time I see the word "doods", I misread it as "doots". And you know? I'm not far off.

As my mom would say, "Vat a bunch of bozos."

Anonymous said...

men are something else.
they really are.

hope you are back to 100% now!

Ruth Dynamite said...

Nothing puctuates a brilliant post like a good ass shot.

Thanks for the laughs.

Me said...

YOu have to publish's brilliant!!!!
Attila - I am waiting for the book!

Samantha said...

Next time you try that, put bars on the door :D Might help