Sunday, November 23, 2014

Arseholes in Real Life

Sorry I've been away.  I had a freaking 4mm kidney stone, and then you know how life gets busy when you're not looking!

My son Little Guy and I went up to the big city to help the folks move some furniture (if they tried it themselves, they would have been laying in a pile of broken hips), and I went up north to check on some work I had done on a duplex I own up there. Early in the fall a critter had gotten up in the attic and chewed some electrical wires and insulation.

The elderly couple who live on that side have been there for about 5 years and are wonderful tenants. For some reason I thought they'd been married for a gazillion years, but they were celebrating their 8th anniversary. Little Guy and I were at loose ends that night and didn't have any dinner plans, so I invited them out to dinner. They are the neatest people, and I wanted to show them my appreciation because they are always so very nice to Little Guy and interested in what he is doing (for those who don't remember, he is my son who has autism).

Mrs. (I'm going to call them Smith) Smith's son from a previous marriage was there, and it seemed kind of churlish not to invite him along. He's about my age. All this time I thought he was "their" son, but I guess not.

Anyway, at the restaurant, Mrs. Smith's son was the biggest arsehole I think I've ever had the displeasure of dining with. He'd effing hold his hand up and SNAP his fingers at a passing waitress, and even once at the manager, who came by the table to see if we were happy, when he wanted something and bark orders at them. Ok, so I took them to the Red Lobster, which is Little Guy's favorite place, but if you've ever been there, you know how busy they can get during peak hours. Our waitress was very attentive, the service was great, the food was well, you know, Red Lobster.

At one point, somebody bumped our waitress who was taking away plates and she bumped arsehole's water glass, which tipped over. There wasn't anything but ice in it, and she apologize profusely. Arsehole laughed and said, "No problem, I'll just take it out of your tip." grrrr. I wanted to kick him in the nads under the table.

Mrs. Smith was completely oblivious to her darling's rudeness. Mr. Smith was terribly embarrassed, and we shared eyerolls over the table. I left the waitress an extra large tip and wrote "sorry about the asshole" on the bill at the end.

When we left, I waited until they got in their car safely and went back in to use the bathroom, because it was a long drive to our hotel. When I came out I saw that Mr. Smith had come back in and was talking to the waitress. Since I was the host of the dinner I went to see if everything was ok. That sweetie was giving her an extra 20 dollars and apologizing for his stepson's behavior! As we walked out together he confided that after I had left the duplex that afternoon, stepson had called his girlfriend and invited her and her kids to dinner on my dime. Mr. Smith told him that he couldn't expect me to foot the bill, so the "kid" had nixed it. The poor old guy was so embarrassed.

What a class act. Mr. Smith, I mean. But seriously, who in the hell SNAPS their fingers at a waitperson? Seriously? Do any of you know any arseholes like that?