Tuesday, May 30, 2006
You Lil' Devil!
In yet another episode of doofusness, newspapers across the globe are reporting a spate of soon-to-be mothers asking to have labor induced or c-sections planned in an effort to avoid giving birth on June 6.
That's right. 06/06/06
They're afraid they're going to give birth to the Anti-Christ.
June 6 is also the day the movie remake of The Omen is scheduled for release.
"In 'The Omen,' Damien is the Anti-Christ. The son of a wealthy American diplomat, the boy has all the advantages of blood and money, and he's got the devil's brand - 666 - on his head. The number comes from Revelation, Chapter 13, which describes a dragon (Satan) and his two helpers, a beast from the sea and another from the land. God's army ultimately will battle the dragon and his henchmen, but in the meantime, the land beast will stamp humans with a mark."
"Many biblical scholars say the number refers to Nero, the Roman emperor who caused much misery among the nascent Christians. Each Hebrew letter has a numerical value, and Nero's name - Neron Caesar - equals 666.
Writing around the time of Nero's reign, Revelations author John of Patmos was reflecting on contemporary signs of the end times - "a situation where the world is falling apart and God is going to have to intervene sooner or later to sort it all out," said Ian Markham, dean of Hartford Seminary.
"The early church assumed Jesus would return soon and usher in the end of the world," Markham said.
But assigning any relevance to 6/6/06, he said, "is silly for a multitude of reasons."
First of all, the calendar has been altered greatly from the days of John's revelation.
"The calendar keeps changing," Markham said. "There's absolutely no significance."'
One histrionic mother-to-be in the UK was interviewed by The Sun. Now for all I know, The Sun is the equivalent to the Weekly World News (the publication that brought us Bat Boy).
In it, Melissa Parker, who is having a baby with boyfriend Lee, vowed to do everything she can to avoid giving birth on her due date, June 6th.
"Oh God, I’m giving birth to Damien from The Omen. Every day I wake up feeling something bad will happen. I’m terrified the birth will go wrong or the child will have evil in him or her. Even worse my beautiful baby could be the devil himself — the anti-Christ."
Well, Melissa, inquiring minds want to know...
If you're genuinely worried about this (being such a believer and all), why were you playing "hide the salami" with Lee without the benefit of a church blessing?
And if The Almighty really planned on your kid being the eater of all worlds, do you think there's anything you can do to stop it?
...Just playing the Devil's Advocate here.