More on Mangling Language

Number One Son is doing well after his oral surgery yesterday. He was touched by the comments and thanks everyone for their kind wishes.

Then again, he's on some pretty fantabulous drugs and he might not remember any of it tomorrow.

Last night we were talking about my previous week's posts about language, and in his Vicodin-enhanced haze, he said, "You forgot to write about that football thing."

Except with all the gauze in his mouth, it sounded like "Oo odot o ite out a ooaall ing".

And hubby added, "And that other thing. Write about that, it's funny!"

Well. My menfolk seem to think my blog is now a family project. I'll indulge them this time, because these couple of snippets are actually pretty good and better yet, they're short because I have a really busy day ahead being Nursetilla the Mom.

When my nephew, the "Happening Dude" was visiting (if you're coming in late, read A Rose By Any Other Name...), we were having another conversation about words and definitions which often leaves at least one of us baffled.

He said, Did you know that in Europe they call soccer "football"?

I replied, "Yes, I've read about that."

Did you know that in Europe they call football "soccer"?

"Where in the world did you learn that?"

Well, it only makes sense, since it's all switched around.

"Actually, I believe they call it American Football."

No way! That doesn't make sense! Where'd you hear that?

"Well I do occasionally crack open a book and watch the news."

That's soooo gay!!!!
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It's also kind of funny how regional definitions go cattywhumpus on us at times as well. In some areas of the US, soft drinks are called "pop". In others, they're called "soda". If you're in the "soda" region and ask for "pop", people look at you as if you've sprouted horns and a tail.

A couple of years ago, hubby was registering Number One Son for the summer leadership program at military school. He had to stand in line after line with the other parents to fill out endless forms, etc, and struck up a conversation with a mom.

She confided that this was her son's first time at military school, but she wasn't totally sold on the whole idea, although he really wanted to go.

She was worried about her son being so far away from home in an environment he wasn't used to. She was worried about hazing and other hijinks that boys get up to.

In fact, this was the third school she had looked at, because she just didn't feel that the first two (which were on the east coast) were safe enough.

"What didn't you like about them?" Hubby asked politely. He was curious because there are many fine military prep schools out in the east.

Those lists of supplies they sent in the application packets. We were required to provide him with black shower thongs!

First of all, I don't like the idea of an institution requiring my son to wear that kind of underwear, and second of all---why does he need to wear them in the shower? Are they to deter rape by other boys?

Hubby had a very hard time keeping a straight face.

"M'aam," he said. "I don't know how to tell you this, but they were asking you to provide your son with Flip-flops."

Snerk.

Hope you all have a great day!