Tuesday, May 23, 2006

More on Mangling Language


Number One Son is doing well after his oral surgery yesterday. He was touched by the comments and thanks everyone for their kind wishes.

Then again, he's on some pretty fantabulous drugs and he might not remember any of it tomorrow.

Last night we were talking about my previous week's posts about language, and in his Vicodin-enhanced haze, he said, "You forgot to write about that football thing."

Except with all the gauze in his mouth, it sounded like "Oo odot o ite out a ooaall ing".

And hubby added, "And that other thing. Write about that, it's funny!"

Well. My menfolk seem to think my blog is now a family project. I'll indulge them this time, because these couple of snippets are actually pretty good and better yet, they're short because I have a really busy day ahead being Nursetilla the Mom.

When my nephew, the "Happening Dude" was visiting (if you're coming in late, read A Rose By Any Other Name...), we were having another conversation about words and definitions which often leaves at least one of us baffled.

He said, Did you know that in Europe they call soccer "football"?

I replied, "Yes, I've read about that."

Did you know that in Europe they call football "soccer"?

"Where in the world did you learn that?"

Well, it only makes sense, since it's all switched around.

"Actually, I believe they call it American Football."

No way! That doesn't make sense! Where'd you hear that?

"Well I do occasionally crack open a book and watch the news."

That's soooo gay!!!!
____________

It's also kind of funny how regional definitions go cattywhumpus on us at times as well. In some areas of the US, soft drinks are called "pop". In others, they're called "soda". If you're in the "soda" region and ask for "pop", people look at you as if you've sprouted horns and a tail.

A couple of years ago, hubby was registering Number One Son for the summer leadership program at military school. He had to stand in line after line with the other parents to fill out endless forms, etc, and struck up a conversation with a mom.

She confided that this was her son's first time at military school, but she wasn't totally sold on the whole idea, although he really wanted to go.


She was worried about her son being so far away from home in an environment he wasn't used to. She was worried about hazing and other hijinks that boys get up to.

In fact, this was the third school she had looked at, because she just didn't feel that the first two (which were on the east coast) were safe enough.

"What didn't you like about them?" Hubby asked politely. He was curious because there are many fine military prep schools out in the east.

Those lists of supplies they sent in the application packets. We were required to provide him with black shower thongs!

First of all, I don't like the idea of an institution requiring my son to wear that kind of underwear, and second of all---why does he need to wear them in the shower? Are they to deter rape by other boys?

Hubby had a very hard time keeping a straight face.

"M'aam," he said. "I don't know how to tell you this, but they were asking you to provide your son with Flip-flops."

Snerk.

Hope you all have a great day!

21 comments:

Rhonda said...

Hahahaha!

Thank god I knew what kind of thongs they were talking about when my son got his supply list for military school.

How your hubby ever kept a poker face in light of that conversation is beyond me.

clew said...

LOL - a friend of ours calls tongs (like for turning stuff on the grill) "thongs". An endless source of amusement.

Poor son ... I feel for him. I had mine out when I was 30 (!!!). Hope he avoids the dry sockets!

Nikki said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bravo to Hubby for keeping a straight face. I wouldn't have been able to pull that off.

I would have been oh so bad and laughed my ass off...uh butt off. (of course in lite of my present situation, that might not be a bad thing)

Thongs - he he

Hope #1 son is doing well. I had a dry socket, it wasn't fun, I can tell you.

happykat said...

we likes it, my prescious

Jimbo Big Toe said...

She must have shower panties if she didn't know what shower thongs were.

Kathy said...

I'm glad that prescription land is helping #1 feel better. I hope it continues to be smooth sailing!

I can laugh alot over the thong misunderstanding. But, I can only imagine it's scary to send your most cherished and protected off to school far away. I know it wasn't easy for a cherished friend of mine, who is a great mom, to send her firstborn off to military school. I bet Attila the dad helped take a load off a worried mom's mind that day. NOW she can laugh too.

Attila The Mom said...

awww, shucks guys...

Amazingly enough, there has been little to no swelling, and he only had to take the heavy-duty pills last night. Today he's just had the big Motrin and that's it.

When I think of the nightmare I went through having mine out 18 years ago...yeck. He's a trooper.

Milly Moo said...

Aw bless....! Here in Oz, they're always called 'thongs', but back in 1991 when I was working in London, I inadvertently caused one male to became inordinately excited when I said to him, "Just wait out here, I'll just go and get my thongs on."

Brenda said...

I'd have cracked up without pause over the thong thing.

Phil said...

Eeeeew! You could have left out the picture.

shirley said...

LOL!! Omigosh, didn't she ever think to question that assumption?!

Sophia said...

Snerk out loud!!

Stella said...

ROFL that is so funny. I would've made the same assumption on the thongs.

Just to add to your nephew's confusion, here in Ireland soccer is soccer, your football is american football and football is gaelic football!

Hope No. 1 son is doing well.

Should introduce myself, have been reading for a while, found you (along with admiral poop) thru Kim's blog, and just getting around to commenting - love your blog.

34quinn said...

omgrotflmao!
that is just way too funny ,

so happy your son is recovering well, was he having wisdom teeth out because they were impacted or is he getting braces ?
My son is headed for braces next month but they had to take his wisdom teeth and 4 other teeth just to make room in their for the ones he has and get them all straight.

Rootietoot said...

Shower thongs! HA! I'da had the same reaction. HA!

Miss Keeks said...

That is pretty funny. What a bonehead! Shower thongs. Heh heh. That'll keep me giggling through the day.

It's too bad your husband didn't look at her with a straight face and say, "it's to deter warts."

I'm glad the kid is doing fine. I had mine out when I was about his age. The sodium pentothol (is that how you spell it?) was great, but I puked the whole next day. Aside from that--no problems. Hopefully he'll have a similar experience--without the puking.

Sheila said...

What a trooper you are Attila!

petunia said...

Where I am the people over 35 call them thongs and the younger ones call them flip flops. I've gotten in many a laughable matter by talking about my "new thongs".
When we were in London I heard a guy yell down the street to his friends "Wait, I've got to go get my fag" I thought my teeth would drop out....when he ran out with a cigarette in his mouth - it was cleared up....

DutchBitch said...

LOL I have the soccer/football mix up with my overseas friends ALL the time... and I don't even líke either sport!!! hahaha

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