Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Asshat of the Week---Michael Cohn
This week's Asshat goes to Michael Cohn, of Los Angeles.
To celebrate Mother's Day last year, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim gave away specially designed tote bags to all female fans over the age of 18. Cohn felt discriminated against, and wrote a letter of complaint.
In response, the Angels sent him an apology and 4 tote bags.
I suppose in the minds of reasonable people, that should have been the end of it.
But no. That would have been too easy.
Cohn decided to put yet another strain on our over-burdened court system by filing a class-action lawsuit on behalf of all the men and fans under 18 who weren't given free tote bags on Mother's Day (no word on whether or not he returned the 4 the Angels sent him in apology before filing).
He's asking for $4,000.00 in damages for each "victim".
Quite a few questions are swirling around in what goes for my mind these days.
How did he come up with the number $4,000.00 in "damages"? 4K worth of Post Traumatic Stress Therapy? 4K in anti-depressants? 4K in spa treatments to make him feel perky again?
How is he going to find and compensate other potential plaintiffs? Maybe die-hard fans keep all their ticket stubs, but this game was over a year ago.
And other than the stupidly greedy, what REAL man is going to be pussy enough to come forward and bleat, "WAAAAHHH!! I didn't get a specially designed Mother's Day tote bag!! I'm sooo damaged! I can't get out of bed in the morning because it's affected my quality of life!!"
A special Richard Cranium Award goes to his lawyer, Alfred Rava, for taking the case. He has a history of suing nightclubs for holding "Ladies Night" promotions.
To clarify things---I don't have any problem with Dad's Day promotions, or Boy Scouts, etc, so please don't take this as a man-bashing post.
With all the legitimate civil rights violations out there, as a tax-payer, I find this lawsuit to be frivolous and downright silly.
I wonder what's next for this duo? Suing Ob/Gyns for not offering Pap Smears to the fellas?
Interestingly enough, Cohn is a psychologist.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about this.
Our friend Sven has found an even bigger Asshat. Go check it out here.