Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Asshat of the Week---Michael Cohn



This week's Asshat goes to Michael Cohn, of Los Angeles.

To celebrate Mother's Day last year, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim gave away specially designed tote bags to all female fans over the age of 18. Cohn felt discriminated against, and wrote a letter of complaint.

In response, the Angels sent him an apology and 4 tote bags.

I suppose in the minds of reasonable people, that should have been the end of it.

But no. That would have been too easy.

Cohn decided to put yet another strain on our over-burdened court system by filing a class-action lawsuit on behalf of all the men and fans under 18 who weren't given free tote bags on Mother's Day (no word on whether or not he returned the 4 the Angels sent him in apology before filing).


He's asking for $4,000.00 in damages for each "victim".

Quite a few questions are swirling around in what goes for my mind these days.

How did he come up with the number $4,000.00 in "damages"? 4K worth of Post Traumatic Stress Therapy? 4K in anti-depressants? 4K in spa treatments to make him feel perky again?

How is he going to find and compensate other potential plaintiffs? Maybe die-hard fans keep all their ticket stubs, but this game was over a year ago.


And other than the stupidly greedy, what REAL man is going to be pussy enough to come forward and bleat, "WAAAAHHH!! I didn't get a specially designed Mother's Day tote bag!! I'm sooo damaged! I can't get out of bed in the morning because it's affected my quality of life!!"

A special Richard Cranium Award goes to his lawyer, Alfred Rava, for taking the case. He has a history of suing nightclubs for holding "Ladies Night" promotions.

To clarify things---I don't have any problem with Dad's Day promotions, or Boy Scouts, etc, so please don't take this as a man-bashing post.


With all the legitimate civil rights violations out there, as a tax-payer, I find this lawsuit to be frivolous and downright silly.

I wonder what's next for this duo? Suing Ob/Gyns for not offering Pap Smears to the fellas?

Interestingly enough, Cohn is a psychologist.

I wonder what Freud would have to say about this.

___________________

Our friend Sven has found an even bigger Asshat. Go check it out here.

27 comments:

The Poodle's Friend said...

Oh no, bring on the man-bashing!
Asshats. Although I can see where the pain comes from. Tote bags are the coolest thing.

St Jude said...

He obviously has far too much time on his hands, and not enough brain to compensate!

Nikki said...

Men, can't live with them, can't disembowel them.

clew said...

Ridiculous. BAH!

Kippa Herring said...

For sure, his brain's seriously Freud.

Nightmare said...

Fucking White people! Why can't they just think of a better hobby. The Angels SHOULD have told him to have a baby then they'd send him a freaking bag.

shirley said...

OMG, are you kidding me?? He's obviously just trying to get rich off this. I hope he goes bankrupt from attorney fees!

shirley said...

By the way, "Richard Cranium" had me thinking for a while. And then I didn't stop laughing for a full 10 minutes!

Kathy said...

As a baseball fan, I find this really annoying. Does he look at the schedule of giveaways, at the golf towels, baseball caps, etc.? There is one day for moms, sheesh. The fact that he can get a lawyer to even bother with this is a sad testament to our legal system.

carmachu said...

They should have taken him down to the locker room and beat some sense into him.

Or send him over to Yankee stadium's bleacher creature section for "realignment and reeducation."

Jimbo Big Toe said...

I don’t understand this guy at all, but even worse is the lawyer. What man in his right mind would want to end ladies night? This is a night where ladies flock to a bar, get hammered on the house (less us guys have to spend), and make out with both men and women practically indiscriminately.

Miss Keeks said...

People who bring about frivolous lawsuits should have to pay all costs associated with said lawsuits. And when I say all costs, I mean--fees, all expenses for wasted time (including salaries, utilities) and especially--they should compensate the person they are harrassing--the cost of their lawyer and the cost of their time wasted.

kim.kim said...

I love the title Richard Cranium ha ha ha. I once explained it to my husband who is Duthc saying that it's our (mother tounge english people) way of speaking German.

Stella said...

Where do you find all these weird and wonderful articles?

Unbelievable and deserving of the award.

Cruxley's mom said...

The fact that he's a shrink doesn't surprise me. I wonder what his mother was like.

Wraith said...

They should hang him by a tote bag at the next game and let all the gals throw some "give away" baseballs at him.

Jeremy Barker said...

My wife just got an ultrasound done, for free (I am in Canada), but did they offer me one? No, not a chance. I think this guy is on to something - I'm sooo gonna sue...

Kevin Charnas said...

I still can't get over this jackass. I'm telling you, they should've just pepper sprayed the bastard.

Anonymous said...

Michael has not paid child support for 3-4 years ...

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I was once married to him! (not the same person he is not paying child support to)

Anonymous said...

Michael is the consummate victim. I have worked with him in a non-medical area well over 5 years, and he INSISTS everyone is out to get him. Any decision that could in any way affect him is “humiliating” (his word) to him. This recently found Blog only serves to reinforce my feelings about him wherein he seems incapable of understanding the phrase:

Doctor, Heal thyself!

Anonymous said...

He lost his case today.
http://lexicon.typepad.com/lexicon/2007/02/angels_baseball.html

Anonymous said...

Well, no, he didn't lose his case. This is why we have an Appellate Court, and yes, a State Supreme Court. Anyone want to bet that Judge Cannon gets his ass handed to him by the Appellate Court which is where the case is now ?

Also, for those of you that have a problem with all of this, take the same set of facts, but substitute the word "women" for men (as in women didn't get totebags but men did), or use the word "blacks." Now how do you feel about it ?

Attila The Mom said...

I still think he's an asshat. And a cry-baby to boot.

Now if you'd said they were only giving tote-bags to white wimmens, then you might have been on to something.

Anonymous said...

Your racism is showing...

Attila The Mom said...

...and how would that be? I pointed out that if they were only giving out tote-bags to white mothers on Mother's Day, I'd have a big damn problem with it.

Nor do I have a problem with men only getting a man-bag or whatever on Father's Day.

You used race as an improper and irrelevant analogy to the issue by suggesting I substitute the word "black" for "women". Apples and oranges in this case.

With logic like yours, I'm pretty sure Judge Cannon won't be the one getting his ass handed to him.

Attila The Mom said...

By the way, I'm closing comments on this post.

Not big on having anonymous nutjobs mucking about.