Saturday, May 13, 2006

Who Cut The Cheese?

Soon shoppers can ask that literally.

The Stilton Cheese Makers Association has commissioned a new perfume called "eau de Stilton".

Now you too can smell like sweaty socks!

What's next, Limberger?

Would anybody really want to smell like ass?

Consciously, I mean.

Of all the foodstuffs I enjoy wallowing in the sniffage of, I don't think I'd like to dab a little aroma behind each ear for smelling pleasure. For one reason, it might attract strange dogs.

I'm not talking about fruity stuff--it smells sweet naturally, and they're already in use in shampoos and stuff.

I'm talking about bacon. Or french fries.

My guys and I were talking about it around the dinner table. Ravioli and garlic bread, if you were wondering. ;-)

Since we're all naturally a little twisted in the Attila house, we started a list of foods we love to smell and how they could be brand name marketed as perfumes for women or colognes for men.

BBQ Ribs---Saucy!
Onions---O, sent in by Nightmare who recommends Oprah as the spokesperson
Peanut Butter and bananas---Hunka Hunka Burning Love
Jambolaya---Ragin' Cajun
Krispy Kremes---Glaze
Fried Chicken---The Colonel
Coffee---The Brazilian
Deviled Eggs---Sulphur in the Springtime
Garlic---Vampire Slayer
Tacos---Hot and Spicy
French Fries---Freedom
Biscuits and Gravy---Southern Mornings, sent in by Admiral Pooper
Cheeseburgers---Hurley (Only Lost watchers will get this)
Heinz Ketchup---Theresa!
Bacon---Babe (ok, I know this is already a perfume name, but it's just so perfect!)
Roasted Turkey---Stuffed, sent in by Fat Pants
Yorkshire Pudding---Puddled, sent in by St. Jude
Barbeque---Smokin', sent in by Abrasive Grace
Cinnamon---Nice Buns, sent in by Golf Widow
Dog Food---K9, sent in by Kate
Fresh Baked Bread---Happy Yeaster, A Holiday Fragrance, sent in by Admiral Pooper Scooper
Coca Cola---Belch, sent in by Michelle
Lemons---Pucker Up, also sent in by Michelle
Chocolate Cake---Sweet 'n Sassy, sent in by Nikki
McNuggets and Sauce---Sweet 'n Sour, sent in by Miss Litzi
Sophia came up with some great ones:
Honey---Bee by Calvin Klein
Chocolate milk---Cocoa by Chanel
Fennel---Anise Anise by Anaïs Anaïs
Champagne---Brut (hee hee)

Honorable mentions for non-food stuffs:

Horse Plop---Grass Roots, sent in by Adoptee Amy

Person who most wants to get her mouth washed out with soap by Atilla the Mom's Mom:

Tuna Salad---The Nasty Lass, sent in by Shirley

If you can think of any smell-good foodstuffs or perfume/cologne names to add to the list, put it my comments. I'll throw it up there with a link! But nothing too pervy, because my mom reads my blog.


Fat Pants said...

Roasted turkey call it STUFFED

kim said...

*LAUGH* Brilliant!

St Jude said...

Yorkshire Pudding - Puddled!

Big Pissy said...


Love. It. :-)


the smell of horse turds call it grass roots

I live on a ranch hehehe that is a regular smell here.

Kate said...

Dog food, and it could be called K9. Sorry, that's not very good is it (blush)

Mr. Fabulous said...

Well, I'd play, but anything I come up with would be sure to tick off your mom, and I don't want her mad at me!

"AG" said...

Barbeque- Smokin'

Great list! :)

Charlie said...

Your biscuits and gravy doesn't have a name, so I suggest Southern Mornings.

Deviled Eggs---Sulphur in the Springtime

That's a good one.

golfwidow said...

Cinnamon. Call it "Nice Buns."

Attila The Mom said...

Miss Litzi---aiiighhh! The Pooper got there first!

Charlie said...

Onions: Cry Baby

Fresh Baked Bread: Happy Yeaster, a Holiday Fragrance

Please, Mom, no more pointing. You could put my eye out.

Blair Bitch said...

I laughed so hard at the Heinz one!

Karen said...

hee hee. altho I love me some stinky stilton & red wine- I can't imagine wanting to smell that way.

Nightmare said...

For the Onion scent.."O" and you could get Oprah to be the spokes person

Nightmare said...

Oh and since I used to do a lot of racnh work, Cowshit should be called "money" because everytime I sm,ell it I think CASH!

shirley said...

Cuuute! And yeah, I may piss off your mom, but...

tuna salad: The Nasty Lass

michele said...

Coca Cola--belch
lemons--pucker up

Nikki said...

Chocolate Cake - Sweet N Sassy

Sophia said...


I've got some groaners to add:

Honey: Bee by Calvin Klein
Chocolate milk: Cocoa by Chanel
Fennel: Anise Anise by Anaïs Anaïs
Champagne: Brut (hee hee)

Kathy said...

Sorry to be so late. I was petsitting all weekend, and couldn't get on the network :-(.

What about french toast "Wee-Wee" oh wait, that's oui-oui. Sorry, freedom is already taken.

Spice cake "spicy", and love the smell of blueberry muffins, but can't think of anything creative for it.

Great list, BTW. Thanks for the chuckle.

Miss Keeks said...

Uummm... cat food: el gato de hombre
or...chili: Midnight Surprize

heh heh.

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