Pimpin' with the Dogg

Ok, it's been a long long LONG time since I've blog pimped with the Dogg (seen here in his Huggy Bear Costume).

I've been so very bad. Fer Shizzle.

I've quietly added a number of new blogs to my link list without any fanfare over the last 6 months or so, mostly because I was sick and dealing with family stuff, but really fabulously impressed with their blogs. To be honest, many of them found ME, but I wouldn't link with them if I thought they weren't worthwhile.

I promise.

That said, I've been working my way through my DVRs and finally caught up with Bravo's A-List Awards, and had quite the giggle over them (for the most part I really love Kathy Griffin). I decided to give out my Blings under reality show names. You might not recognize the name of some of the Reality shows, because some of them didn't even last a season, but I did research damnit to make this fit. LOL

If you're not on the list, it doesn't mean I don't heart you just as much---but heck, I've got 100+ links on my sidebar to follow!

Hope you enjoy these Blingalicious blogs as much as I do!

Top Chef

Hands down, ntsc of The Art of the Pig is the Top Chef. The end. Whether he is posting with photos step-by-step on how to make homemade chicken sausage or how to cook the perfect pot-roast, I ALWAYS leave his blog inspired and hungry. Really hungry. Like looking at my Yorkshire terrier and envisioning a Yorkshire pudding superimposed on top of her hungry. Woof!

Currently he's posting on how to bone a turkey (not the xxx-rated kind of boning, mind you). Stop by and get inspired!

Top Design

Both Phlegm Fatale of Fatale Abstraction and Anna from The Alternative Anna design some incredible jewelry. If you're looking for that perfect "one of a kind" creation for someone in your life, I highly recommend them! Plus their blogs are mighty entertaining too!

What Not To Wear

Big Pissy from the Southern Circle of Hell is a fashion icon. She finds the best deals and has the best fashion sense of anybody I know. I love reading the adventures of this true Southern Belle!

The "James Lipton Doesn't Hold a Candle" Bling award goes to RC of Strange Culture. If you're seriously into movies this is the place to go. RC's research and analysis of current and past movies is simply outstanding. He also has timely blog fests where he asks his readers to write about movies or characters who have affected them (like for Father's Day, etc) and links to them. Check him out especially before Oscar Night.

The Bachelor

Just Bob is smart and sensitive. Plus he finds farts funny. Don't let him get away!

Tom is a very warm, hunky single dad with a great sense of humor and better yet, he bakes. Yes, that's not a typo! He is a pie-baker extraordinaire. If I wasn't happily married I'd see if he was into gardening and ask how much his hourly charge would be for trimming my--er--the bushes.

Who am I kidding? I really want the pie. Lots and lots of pie.

Pete lives across the pond in the U.K. and is an avid birder. If you're not really into birds, that's ok. He travels extensively and takes the most incredible photos of historic (some widely advertised, some not) sites. When I look at his pictures, it's almost like being there.

The Real Housewives....

Ok, I'm guilty. Vewy Vewy guilty. I sneered at Reality shows, but when I was sick I got hooked on the Real Housewives reruns (hey, the alternative was watching Bobby Brown pry prehistoric poop nuggets out of Whitney Houston's butt) . Whether it was the botoxed bleached blondes of Orange County, the brittle bitchy broads of New York City or the brassy boobyful beyotches from Atlanta, it was great therapy being able to throw a pillow at the tube and scream "you live in a fantasyland, you delusional b*tch!"

Kind of like Hubby does every time he sees Joe Biden on the small screen.

Anyhoo, I think I've MET many of the genuine REAL-to-life Housewives here in blogland. So they get the bling. I've divided some of them up into subcategories.

These ain't your regular mommy-blogs.

The Real Housewives: Flipping Out

Not only is my buddy Koolio a real housewife, but she is the author of the BEST rants evah! When I'm feeling down in the mouth, I can always count on her to tickle me with her way with words. It's like being served poetry with a dash of battery acid. Her take on people who call incessantly:

"Do I really need to explain why there's voicemail?! Leave a message and the person will get back to you when they can. Grow some patience, f*ck-ryingoutloud! Actually, I think I'm growing some in my garden, I'll be happy to share some with you! Oh wait, those are Impatiens. Nevermind."

The Real Housewives: The Girls Next Door

I would love, love LOVE it if any or all of these bloggers lived on MY block. Every day would be coffee klatch day!

Jennifer, the Redneck Romance Writer has a Monday feature called "Just sayin'" where she takes on everybody from the irony-impaired to Twitter. Gotta check her out!

MrsB at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom finds the best giveaways on the web! Plus she has one of the coolest blog names I've ever come across!

I simply adore Chris at Diet Coke Rocks. She's a hot mama and granny who is gracious enough to invite us into her home and life. I'd like to get a gander at the purple and black thing she hides in her bedside drawer sometime. LOL

The Frau and family moved kit and kaboodle to Germany for a couple of years to accomodate her husband's job. I'm really enjoying their forays in assimilating in West Family Adventures.

Kim at the Yellow Trash Diaries is a scream. You know those characters who have a tiny devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other who argue whenever the protagonist has a moral dilemma?

Kim would be the mini-satan in high heels. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. She puts into words my own reactions to many absurd situations. Compared to her I'm just a cowardly, cowardly custard. Maybe I could shrink her and carry her around in a Louis Vuitton bag like Paris Hilton's chihuaha.

My buddy Beth on the other hand, would be the angel on the other shoulder. She is a calm voice of reason in an otherwise scary and chaotic headspace (which would be my scary and chaotic headspace). Pop by and say hi to her at Books, etc.

Kevin Charnas and his spouse were a couple of (mostly) carefree California guys who've moved to the midwest to be closer to Kevin's aging parents. Reading about their cultural adjustment to the heartland is an adventure in itself!

Joanna's blog The Fifty Factor is absolutely delightful. One of my fave posts to date is one where she shares her discovery that the excellent customer service she was receiving at Restoration Hardware was due to the their mistaken assumption that she was actress Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond)! What a hoot!

The Real Housewives: If Women Ruled the World

This is the last section of what's becoming a very long post. If women ruled the world, my picks for the top jobs would go to Ellen at To the Max, Rootie at Because it Really is Personal, the Green Girl from Wisconsin, and Brenda at What's up Down South.

I think if these ladies were in charge, respectively everyone would be treated fairly, have something good to eat, a clean environment, and get a time-out or a warm hug when they need one.

Check them out and find out why.

Cheers all!

Pimpin' With the Dogg...

I know I haven't Pimped in awhile, and as always, I so do apologize!!

Lot's of things have being going on in our house that have just taken a lot of time and energy to deal with.

Bad bad me made fun of Hubby and the boys when I was ill and they were sort of sick-by-proxy and demanding mommy-care.

A few days later, Hubby WAS struck down---with a large and painful blood clot. Had to administer shots of blood thinner into his belly every day for 10 days, and now he's waiting for the two weeks to end (have to wait two weeks after the 10 days of shots) to visit a cardiologist.

His elderly mom back east isn't doing that great, and he had hoped to fly down there to be with her until this came up. Of course, he absolutely can't fly, so in addition to the medical stress, he's worrying about her too. Send good thoughts, would you?

This is going to be a real shortie, but I promise (yeah I know, I'm always promising) to do a bigger one soon. I've added a lot of really great blogs to my roll, and every one deserves a look-see!

First off, my good friend Dutchylicious is having a really fun contest. She's had a few (contests, I mean), and from what I hear, the prizes she sends from Holland are to die for! Bow down and worship at the Dutchaplooza!

Jump in and enter!

Miss Litzi arranges pictures like she would flowers in her tearoom chat. Unfortunately, she turns her comments off half the time so I can't tell her how much I enjoy her bouquets!

Funny story. Some months ago, Ashley's Mom at Pipecleaner Dreams wrote a post about a company who is owned/run by a guy who has a disability and does t-shirts, etc for individuals and organizations. He had an "Attila the Mom" t-shirt and she sent me a note about it.

I wrote last month about a really fabulous present we did for our family members and friends.

Little Guy is an incredible artist. His work has been displayed in a couple of shows. He hasn't chosen a specific medium, but he loves to work with fabric and paints. When he was 13 he learned how to sew in school (I remember it as being Home Ec, but they call it Consumer Family Studies now) and made 10 quilts for a local homeless shelter. He saw something on TV about a quilt project, and the thought of people who didn't have moms or dads to tuck them in at night, or even beds touched him.

Anyway, after reading Ashley's Mom's post, I contacted the company about making a t-shirt out of a piece of Little Guy's artwork since he's graduating this year from high school. I thought that all our friends and family members could wear it to his graduation, and we could do a "wave" when he gets his diploma.

The idea grew a bit. The list ended up including teachers, fellow students, paras, bus drivers, doctors, therapists, ladies in the grocery store, and neighbors who have been a part of his "village" over the years. And there were a few extras for special friends.

The most lovely and gracious Beth from Books, Etc. wrote a really nice post about the t-shirt.

Thanks so much, Beth! And thanks, Ashley's Mom!

Pimpin' With the Dogg

I know I've been remiss in following up with my promise to pimp the "Stank for Skanks", but damn, when it rains, it pours!

I did write a post on Disaboom yesterday which kind of explains my absence this week, if you're of the mind to wander over there.

But here are my picks for the Stanks for Skanks awards!

All of you here are my winners!

Send me your email addy if you have an Amazon account, and I'll send you a gift certificate!

Mind you, if you're international and don't/can't order stuff from Amazon, there isn't a lot I can do about it. ;-)

Lola Magnolia came up with "Glamorous" by Baby Jane.

Golf Widow thinks Paris Hilton should have a new fragrance called Jailbird (Shower yourself in springtime ... but don't drop the soap!)

Fatman is spot on with "Lilliputian by Tom Cruise"!!

Beth got snarky with "Twin Peaks by Pamela Anderson"! Heehee.

Miss Litzi hit the nail on the head with "Rage by O.J. Simpson".

I can't stop laughing over "Monosyllabic by Ashton Kutcher". Way to go, Nightmare!
And how apropos. Mary came up with "Hydrant by Michael Vick".

Balqiz came up with "Et tu, Matt? by Ben Affleck." snerk!

And the lovely Brenda echos my sentiments with "Gin-ho by Britney Spears"!

Ye olde perviness Charlie focused on another faux pas by Paris with "The Wind Beneath My Lips". Gak! My eyes!

I have to say that Skywriter had me dying with laughter over "Still Tabu by R. Kelly"! I love it!

Thanks for playing, all. You're the best!

Blog Pimpin'---The Artsy Fartsy Awards

I've been a bad, bad blogger.

I was awarded 8 "Thinking Blogger Awards", and I was supposed to pass it on and award it to 5 more bloggers. Each time.

All I can say in my defense is that the last couple of months have been really busy and a bit overwhelming.

My most humble thanks to all who awarded me. Just knowing that you like my blog enough to drop in regularly means a lot!

Instead of passing out more Thinking Blogger awards (along with the duty of awarding another 5 bloggers), I'm just going to spread out some Bling, in honor of the Dogg.

I've been contemplating some different Art Movements in history, and thinking about how various bloggers might fit in. So these are Attila's Artsy Fartsy Awards.

First there are the Dada-ists, who give me a view of parenting from the other half.


I love to visit Dorky Dad, Kim Ayres, Sven, Carmachu, Em and Fatman.

Next up are the Impressionists, otherwise known as the artists most likely to leave an impression of their sneakers on your heinie if you don't pull your sh*t together!


A day without snark is like a morning without high-octane java! When I need a pick-me-up, I get my fix from:

Dutchy, Ma Titwonky, Phlegm Fatale, Annie Drogynous, Special K, Nightmare and the Southern Circle of Hell.

Next up are the Pointillists.

These are the activists and advocates to causes near and dear to my heart. And they're good at bitch-smacking the pointy-headed.

When I need to get in the mood to rumble, these guys help me get my Attila on:

Did I Miss Something?, Diary of a Goldfish, The Gimp Parade, Whose Planet is it Anyway?, Saving Grace, Musings of the Lame, Amy,the Angry Adoptee and The Daily Bastardette.


I wouldn't last a day without the Folk Artists.

These are the bloggers I would most like to spend a hot summer afternoon with---kicking back with a gallon of ice tea on the porch.

They're colorful, comfortable, and I'm just crazy about them! Life doesn't get any better than that!

Manda, Deb, Miss Litzi, Stinky Paw,Texas Goodies, Blogarita, Brenda and Myron.

I just love the Pop (T)Artists! They're young, they're funny, they're fresh. Visiting their blogs is like a breath of spring air.

Check out:

Samantha, Heather and Me.

Last but not least are the Expressionists.


They make me laugh, and cry and think!

If you want something to put your brain in gear, you can't miss by visiting any of these blogs:

Rootie, Beth, Sarala, Pendullum, Flamenco Mom, Kevin Charnas, Mel, Mrs. Mayhem, Mamma, Mr. Fab, Ruth Dynamite, Mary Likes Bacon! and Yerdoingitwrong!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

ATM

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The above tole art plate is a design of Rosemary West and can be found here.

Blog Pimpin' With the Dogg

I haven't pimped in so long that Snoop aka Huggy Bear is starting to get moldy.

Fer shizzle on my smizzle!

The other day I was reading the Readers Digest and saw an interesting tidbit about dog owners. According to the American Kennel Club, 88% of women dog owners wish their significant other had at least one quality that their dog has.

Hmmm.

That made me think a bit about relationships. Why stop at significant others? Why not friends? Why not blogs? What is it about completely different bloggers that keep us coming back?

Is it because they have at least one quality our dogs have? I decided to put it to the test.

(If you don't see your name on the list, it's not because I've forgotten or don't appreciate you! You'll get a pimpin' soon in the future!)

Here are some "dawgs":

Kevin will goose you with a cold, wet nose. He has ominous (or is that awesome?) nostrils.

Myron is a fabulous companion. Get some hot chocolate and stick around for awhile!

Dorky Dad never fails to entertain.

Rootietoot loves digging in the dirt.

Quinn is loving and caring.

Miss Litzi is so wonderfully courteous that she'd never leave a doody under the couch. And she'll always graciously greet you at the door.

Samantha could make studded collars and leashes into a fashion statement.

Big Pissy knows which are the BEST pillows to stretch out on. Especially the ones with designer linens!

Kim Ayres never fails to be warm and fuzzy.

Ruth chases balls with a vengeance.

Blogarita is full of fun.

Nikki has a hairy a$$.

Beth invites you in and makes you feel as comfortable as if she had offered you a cozy pair of slippers.

Sarala has an incredible vision and sees things that those of us with human eyeballs frequently miss.

Shirley will love you even if you get so drunk that you pass out in your own upchuck. And she won't reproach you afterwards. How cool is that?

Carmachu is most loyal and kind. He should name his next born child Lassie in honor of his loyalty and kindness.

Stinkypaw is the most supportive and encouraging person on the planet. Run over there and give her a well-deserved belly rub!

Texas Goodies will listen to your woe and know exactly what will make you feel better. Big lovely wet sloppy kisses for everybody!

Dutchy is a treat for everybody all on her own.

Shaking a Fist has a bark worse than her bite. Annie has a bite worse than her bark. And they're both as funny as all get out. Neither one ever misses a trick.

Brenda is the best friend ever!

One Ear is really a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Boo and Trish are two furballs from the same litter.

Fab. Well Fab. What could I say about him? If he could figure out how to lick his own balls, he'd be the happiest guy-er-dog on the planet. But I must say that he won't hump your leg unless you ask nicely.

Woof out!

Blog Pimpin'

Big Guy and Little Guy have been away for the last few days, visiting their original dad and his family out in California.

Hubby and I have 5 more days alone to rediscover all the wonderful things that made us fall in love with each other almost 14 years ago.

For example:

He still reaches out to hold my hand while we're sleeping.

And I can still hit the first 5 notes of The Star Spangled Banner in perfect pitch blowing farts with my mouth (aka zerbits) on different parts of his belly.

So we're going to spend the next few days making new laughs and memories---doing things like running around nekkid and scaring the dogs, eating crackers in bed and laughing our tushies off at Beavis and Butthead reruns (something we'd never EVER let the boys catch us doing) on DVD.

Since I haven't blog-pimped in a month or so, and I have lots of fabulous blogs in my sidebar, I thought I'd encourage anybody stopping by my little space while I'm gone to check them out.

If you're in my sidebar and haven't been pimped yet, don't feel neglected---I'm getting to it!

This is Ladies Week!

Ruth Dynamite at Ruthless in the Suburbs is having a birthday today. Drop in and give her your best wishes! Stick around and read her posts---her commentary is so lyrical and flawless!

Ditto with I Obsess. I can't tell you how much I enjoy this lady's writings!

I feel really bad because in my last pimpin' post I wrote about a couple of guys (RC and Jeremy) and their Pop Culture blogs. I completely neglected to include Sheila from My Arms Fold Back.

She gets the best photos, especially of current art exhibits, and you can't beat her commentary! Drop in and give her a holler!

Anna, at The Alternative Anna, can tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Hedgehogs and Snail Sex. I mean it! The fact that she's really funny is a bonus.

For truly entertaining blogs from ladies who don't take crap from anybody, and are brilliant at describing the snarkier side of life, please visit Shaking a Fist in Impotent Rage at the Sheer Malignancy of Fate and the Enema Portal for Groan-ups. I promise, you won't be sorry!

Last but not least---you have to check in and read Women Having It All. It's a blog shared by two long-time friends, Lisa and Kelly, who've taken different paths on the career and mommy tracks. Great concept for a blog by two really superior writers. I relish every word!

Be good, stay well and don't forget your sunscreen while I'm gone!!

Hugs,

ATM

Blog Pimpin'

This morning I was going on my blog rounds and realized that I've been adding links to my sidebar, but haven't put much time into introducing any of them.

But before I do, run over to Sven's blog for a hilarious must-read. I still can't stop laughing!

Last week I finally broke down and rented space on a blog for the first time to see what it was like. My landlady, Dutchylicious was a fabulous host, and I promised not to hump her leg or leave smelly little presents under her couch. Visit her and read about life, love and size 15 wooden shoes in the Netherlands!

For the snarkiest commentary (my favorite kind!), drop by The Blair Bitch Project, and Enema Portal For Groan Ups. These ladies always put a grin (usually a sh*t-eating one) on my face.

I admit it. I love to read gossip and reviews. I can't help myself. I have no life.

I stop by and read Jeremy at Popped Culture, and RC at Strange Culture whenever I need a fix. Both write great reviews and provide an eye-popping array of links for reference. Stop in and give them a holler!

I know I'm far behind on updating my links, so if I've missed you, my apologies. I'll catch up on it soon!

Hope you all have a great day!