Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Mixing it Up and Making a Mess

Since I wrote about Macaroni and Feet the other day, I thought I'd add a few more things that have been grossing me out lately.

What is it with the recent mixing it up of foodstuffs? Is there a new kind of "fusion" cooking in the wind?

We used to give a friend of mine crap about Poutine. Apparently it's a popular comfort food or fast food or both (I'm easily confused) in Eastern Canada. They even serve it at McDonald's and Burger King.

For those south of the border who have absolutely NO idea what Poutine is---it's French Fries and fresh cheese curds smothered in brown gravy, preferably beef or pork.

Well I like French fries. I like cheese curds too. And I guess I like gravy on roast beast. But all together?

No thanks. Thinking about it makes my colon sqwinch up in horror.

The other day, I read an article about a company in Du Bois, PA that has taken on the task of developing Peanut Butter Hot Dogs after a desperate mother appealed to them for help.

Apparently Snotleigh refuses to eat anything that isn't covered in peanut butter, and she was at her wit's end.

(I'm using the term "wits" loosely. To be perfectly honest, those kind of parental shenanigans annoy the hell out of me, and after looking at a picture of the poor kid, I'm convinced that the last thing he needs is more peanut butter. He needs a bicycle!)

And now comes along KFC with their "Famous Bowls". If they're famous, how come I'm just hearing about them? I'm pretty sure I'd remember something so--uh--hurlworthy.

First is a layer of mashed potatoes. Then Corn. Then chicken gravy. Then fried popcorn chicken. Top it off with a nice helping of their Three Cheese Blend!

For cripes sakes, you might as well give it all a good twirl in the blender and suck it through a straw.

Better yet, you could even skip that part and mainline it!

Throw in a biscuit and honey butter for good measure!

Last but not least, we come to the Gateway Grizzlies in St. Louis.

They may never be known for their baseball skills, but they certainly are getting some notoriety for a snack they're serving in their concession stands.

Bacon cheeseburgers.

What's so bad about that? you might ask.

Like the burger. Like the cheese. Love the bacon.

Nestled in between two halves of a Krispy Kreme donut.


What's next?

Philly Cheesesteaks dipped in chocolate?


kimananda said...

Bacon cheeseburgers with Krispy Kreme? All that can be said, really, is Ewwww!

I must say though (or should that be confess) that the not-so-famous bowls don't sound that bad.

34quinn said...

POUTINE!!! now you are talking.

Yes, an excellent treat!!! not something one should consume on a regular basis very bad for your heart over time.
However, I am in Canada and married to a French Canadian and POUTINE rocks.!!

one note :::: poutine served in fast food joints like "mcyuckys" and the like is crap! and should not be compared to real poutine.
which is in fact made with both real french fries (not "mcyucky" crappy things) and real cheese curds not globs of , well not going there might make myself barf up but you get the point.
I had my bestest pal I met from an online chat room years ago come to Canada for their very time ever and we gave them poutine for the very first time too.
Before they tried it they thought it sounded absolutely dreadfull, after having tried it they thought it was amazing and should be classed in it's own food group.

That is my 2 cents ( canadian cents mind you so not worth as much).
But I do know pleanty in the area of POUTINE and also that delisciously sweet pastry BEAVER TAILS..

Attila the Mom said...

Kimananda----aiiighhhhh! ;-)

Quinn---well if I'm ever up your way, I might be persuaded to try the real stuff. But it really does sound absolutely dreadful.

34quinn said...

Let me know when you are on your way we will get you fresh cheese curds the good ones that still squeek when you chew em and make fresh gravey and french fries just for you !! you will be amazed !!

Anonymous said...

Poutine sounds pukey. Thank goodness I've never come across it. I am on the other hand quite a purist when it comes to macaroni cheese. To mix garlic in with it just doesnt work. Five stars to your hubby for having a go though. Sorry to hear about all the boys being sick, Get Well Soon

Anonymous said...

A chocolate cheesesteak? I'm liking that idea.

Big Pissy said...

It all sounds absolutely disgusting! :(

Mary said...

What I can't get over is this ridiculous "fusion cuisine" like mixing different cultures and coming up with preposterous combinations: "Thai Bratwurst on Fettucine, Lightly Tossed With Pesto, served with Couscous and Chianti Brulee." I watch "Hell's Kitchen" and delight in seeing Brit Gordon Ramsey bawl out the pretentious ersatz chefs who try to present him with things like Onion Risotto with Pomegranate Seeds.

carmachu said...

ewwwwww, burger between krispy kreme donuts? Fries with gravy and cheese curds?

Many what demented person makes this crap up?

I mean I like fries with mustard, but thats at least sane....

Weary Hag said...

Oh. My. God.

Okay, here's the deal. If my peas should misbehave and roll around my dinner plate so much as TOUCHING the gravy, it's enough to make me shudder.

This was a great read (love your writing) but the content was a belly buster. Ew, ew, and ew.

Weary Hag said...

Meant to say, thanks tons for stopping by and for caring about my recent ordeal. Muchly appreciated!

34quinn said...

HI Carmachu....
K, here is a better way to help describe poutine..follow this.

think of Christmas time you eat mashed potatoes and gravey? they go together well. Think of a baked potatoe topped with a bit of cheese?? It goes together well.

poutine follows the same idea..using fresh real potatoe french fries ( not crappy fast food fries) and fresh cheese curds and some gravey on top. mmmmmmm really it is very tastey.

anyways..* making a note* taking Atilla and Carmachu out for poutine when they come visit me in Canada!!!!

Mia said...

Well my dear Atilla, my husband would beg to differ. He actually cried when he saw the commercial for the new KFC bowls. Cried like a baby he was so excited.

As for the cheesesteaks dipped in chocolate? Well these are two of my favorite things (sing it) so I think you are on to something!

Attila the Mom said...

Sheila---He's a good man. He read the blog and said, "I didn't know the guys didn't like garlic"...uh doh!

Miss Litzi---I get a huzz just thinking about it!

LBB---Eww. Oh, and ewww!

BP--It just seems to get worse, doesn't it?

Mary---that show is a hoot! Some of those concoctions make my head spin.

Carmachu---I wonder sometimes if maybe the creators have burned away their tastebuds with too many jalepeno nachos or something...

Weary Hag---my brother was exactly the same way! If anything touched on his plate, he'd freak. I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Mia--the visual is killing me. Stop that!

Mia said...

Can't help the visual but get this;
my son has to have everything separate on his plate-not touching either. He eats counter clockwise eating his least favorite first and working his way to his most favorite, not moving on until each is completely gone. A little OCD if you ask me. lol

Nikki said...

I don't know what idiot has desecrated the wonderful ewwy goowy goodness of the donut, but I'm gonna find 'em. . . and when I do it CURTAINS! do ya hear me?! CURTAINS!

And I'm sorry to say the famous bowls sound good.

The poutine - not ever in my life will I ever again put a curd in my mouth. (barfing sounds)

Anonymous said...

Poutine actually sounds gorgeous, or it would if it was covered with chili and not gravy.

Those Famous Bowls are disgusting; I always mute the TV when the commercial comes on, because hearing all of those foods layered in a bowl makes me retch.

Art_Fulldodger said...

Poutain sounds like Heart attack city.

The KFC bowl of goo sounds even worse because of the 3 gallons of greese that come with every order of KFC Chicken.

Krispy creams should NEVER be tainted with anything except coffee. Ever! Crispy Creams rock BTW

Here in Michigan we have Coney Island Hotdog joints everywhere. The biggy here is to get "Coney Fries" which consists of American Fries (I stopped saying the "French" word) Coney Island Chilli with onions and mustard and on top of that they then glop a laddle of melted "Dayglo" colored cheese on top of that. It tastes awsome but I cant eat it more than once a month or my blood stops flowing.

James Medhurst said...

In my view, chips with cheese is just wrong, however popular it my be. Now, hot crumpets with cheese, on the other hand. Mmm...

Attila the Mom said...

Mia---Ya think? ;-)

Nikki---I could say something really perverted in response to that last line, but I'm going to restrain myself. LOL

Marie---I'm with you on that one. Chili! Yeehaw!

Rainman---yum! Except for the mustard. ;-)

James--For some reason I've always associated crumpets with like--muffins--sort of a sweet-type bread. If you put cheese on that, well then God help you! LOL

Anonymous said...

You need to do a tour of Scotland - battered and deep fried Mars fact anything will be battered and deep fried!*

*Scotland has a high level of heart disease, surely unrelated ;o)

girl said...

You should advertise this post as a diet aid! No way am I eating after reading about those things!

Special K said...

Poutine is seriously the best stuff ever invented, man.


Nikki said...

Attila, you are just as bad as I am, you just hide it better. LOL

Rootietoot said...

Would somebody PLEASE tell me what the hell a cheese curd is??? I have yet, after working on it for the past 10 years, to get a satisfactory answer. Is it cottage cheese? cream cheese? crumbled cheddar? what???

Rootietoot said...

oh and Krispy Kremes are only good if picked right off the conveyor belt just after passing under the glazing drizzle thing and their still almost too hot to eat. Anything else just isn't the Real Deal

Attila the Mom said...

Beki--Ok, now I'm going to have nightmares about that one.

Shirley--every time I see one of those KFC commercials I swear I've woken up in an alternative universe!

Special K---It's funny that some Canadians think it's horrid and others just love it. I guess it's like Rocky Mountain Oysters--love 'em or hate 'em.

Nikki--don't tell anyone or I'll have to kill you.

Rootie---curds are formed in one of the steps of the cheesemaking process. They look like little round chunks.

Molds (shaped like wheels or blocks)are filled with curds, and all of the extra liquid is pressed out. Then they are sealed with wax and aged before they are offered for market (the product that the rest of us end up with).

Sometimes when you bite into one, it "squeaks", hence the name "squeaky cheese". I love them.

Essentially, curds are just very very fresh cheese.

St Jude said...

We have the variations of poutine served here, however they are never served together, they are either cheesy chips, or chips n gravy. Personally I would rather suck on a scabby slug ;0)

34quinn said...

Atilla ..excellent job explaining a curd... we love cheese curds here we buy them almost every week.
My kids love it mostly of course in poutine. ( and yes rainmangotskills it is very much not good for your heart so you aren't suppose to have it often).
My hubby loves to buy a dry slices of dry salami like a hungarian type and also curds. He rolls the curd in the salami and pops it in his mouth. He of course washes it down with a cold beer and this is usually the kind of snack he eats when watching the saturday night hockey games.

Stella said...

Eew, eew, eew that all sounds so gross!

Nikki said...

St Jude - that is quite possible the most disgusting phrase I have ever heard. BLECK!

A scabby slug?!

Kippa Herring said...

I am not a friend to The Poutine.

Meg said...

Cheese curds? Ew. "Curd" just sounds disgusting. I won't eat anything that rhymes with a euphimism for poop.

poppedculture said...

Mmmmm, poutine! Hands down one of the best post-bar drunk foods ever made. Gravy, cheese, fries, how can you go wrong? Sure it'll kill you, but what wont? Maybe I could get some as a side with perogies done up with bacon, onions and sour cream. Damn I'm hungry.

Mark Base said...

I'm originally from Montreal (but now live in Sweden after having live in London, England for 12 years). That photo just flooded back memories.
You know like when there's an old song that suddenly stuck in your head?
Unfortunately, this is akin to having the theme from The Partidge Family stuck in my head.
Thanks a lot :o(

34quinn said...

oh yes jeremy.....
you said it !! perogies on a sunday morning and you are cooking them up the absolutely the best way...
bon apetit!!!!

34quinn said...

HI Mark,
very close to your old stomping ground here. I live about 2 hours west of Montreal married a Montrealer too.
How the heck did you end up in Sweden and how do you like it there>?
And that you mentioned the partridge family I too have their songs going through my head....

come on be happpy!!!! LOL

RC said...

My wife talks about Poutine all the time ever since she went to canada a few years back.

sounds slimy to me, and i don't know that i'm neccesarily into cheese curds.

And Peanut Butter Hot Dogs...that's absolutly disgusting.

--RC of

DutchBitch said...

I can see that I am missing out on a lot over here in Dutchyland!!! LOL

Mr. Fabulous said...

There are few things worse than a sqwinchy colon!

MsDemmie said...

Squick ..........

Kevin Charnas said...

i'm exhausted...i'm sorry...i'll stop yelling, but this is just too disgusting. everyone needs to just put down the shit and step away...step away.

Kelly Wolfe said...

Y'know the ad for that KFC monstrosity had me grossed out for days. At first I thought it was a joke commercial, like the one they do on SNL with the taco wrapped in a pancake, and deepfried and then put in a bag with chili (or something like that.) But when it set in to my brain that it was real, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.


Attila the Mom said...

Lisa, I still can't get over the grossness.

And they play that damn commercial constantly! aiiighhhh!