Friday, February 04, 2011

Ladies, I Need Some Help!

Sorry I haven't written or checked your blogs out lately, but things have been hairy around the Attila House. I've just had too much damn anxiety to write anything. Will share soon.

But I have some funny/good/precious news. And I need your help.

I've talked a lot about my mom in my blog over the years, and my struggles with our relationship especially when I searched and found my birth family (I'm adopted). I even shared the sorrow when my step-dad passed away a few years ago.

I've shared her struggles as a newly single gal, how she dumped a bunch of old guys because they just wanted to get married and have someone take care of them.

She was done "taking care of sick old men". And she had a checklist for the men she was going to date:

1) He had to be able to drive
2) He didn't want to get married (she was married 24 years to my dad and 24 years to my step-dad and was done with being married)
3) He had to be in reasonably good health

Also told you guys about this older beau she's had for a couple of years. She's 78, he's just turned 88. For the first time, she's the trophy hoochie. LOL

Anyhoo, he's a gem. A real sweetie. They're both really active and go to plays, concerts, senior events and seminars. He's taken her to Vermont to see the leaves change, to New Mexico for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. When my son was in the ICU, he drove her down (2-hour drive) frequently to sit vigil with me.

The year before last at Easter, I wrote about how the families got together for a meal and to meet each other for the first time. His adult children, her adult children (except for me) went out to a restaurant. They sat at opposite sides of the table, like a mafia sit down.

Both sets of "kids" were wary---worried that their elderly parents might be taken advantage of.

Beau's son somewhat superciliously asked my mom to tell him about herself.

She said, "well I've married and buried quite a few men in my time". He was agape. She and beau laughed their asses off.

Then she added, "didn't you have a minister at your wedding?" Snarf. She's a retired United Methodist Minister. I wish I had been there!

Anyhoo, a few days ago, she called me and told me that she and Beau have decided to tie the knot. They'd just been to a lawyer and signed a prenup keeping all their stuff separate. For the last year or so, they'd been going between his house, which is full of crap, and her house, which is full of crap.

They were just worried about what the neighbor's were thinking. On one hand, they could live in sin, but my mom was worried that if something happened to Beau, his kids (who don't actually live close) might not be available if decisions about their dad needed to be made.

Ok, that's her story and she's sticking to it.

So I asked her when the big day was and she said Valentine's Day.

I was stunned. "Why so soon?" I asked.

"We aren't getting any younger. How long should we wait?"


Ok, so here's the deal. We had a talk tonite and I asked her what I could do to help. She's running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

Since she isn't having a bridal shower, and she won't let me arrange the bouquet or contribute, I decided that I wanted to buy her a romantic peignoir set or something for her honeymoon. I've seen her jammies. LOL

I can't find anything that isn't crotchless, nippleless, too short, too staid, vinyl, etc etc etc, even when I look at "bridal" stuff. Or boyish stuff. Or hiphugging stuff.

I'm looking for something in blue, aqua, medium pink---pastelly but not white. I mean she's 78, fer pete's sakes. Something somewhat froofy. You know, romantic. It can be mid-length or long.

She wears an XL, and price is not a problem. I'd rather something a little more highend than Kmart polyester, if you know what I mean.

If you guys could help me, I'd love you forever!


Sarah Ogden said...

Congrats to your mother. Have your tried all the major department stores on line such as Macy's and Marshall Fields, Younkers? Kohls?

I will be thinking of your family on Valentine's Day

debra said...

Missed you, ATM. And---I'm on it! After all, if we could pull of International Kim Ayres Day, we can find lingerie. I figure---if it's long, romantic and froofy, it's lingerie.


Serene Comfort:

Her Room:


sunshine and lollipops said... has some things that I would buy for my mom if she got as lucky as yours!

Crazy Mom! said...

try here too, dillards

Mrs. Hall said...


I will SO be 78 and getting out there!!


here's a few links that might be useful. good luck!

I'm a fan of black

emerald green


ok again, awesome. great for her not wanting to marry an old guy that wants a nurse!!


love blooms eternal!

Kim Wombles said...

Yay your mom! :)

Jan said...

Congrats to your Mom. Nordstrom's is always my go to store.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

If you go to the woman within website under sleep wear then valentines there is a 2 piece long that is very appropriate

Kikilia said...

Okay- this a bit off the beaten path- but The Vermont Country Store

Has some really nice nightgowns that look romantic- yet are appropriate for a 78 year old mother.

Just click the sleepwear link- then the nightgown link- and I'm sure you'll find something.

Good luck!

Brenda said...

Victoria's Secret online! You can buy anything from thermal to little fluff's that cover nuthing but the in between stuff is really nice and tasteful. I buy a lot of my pjs there and their XL stuff fits nicely.

sleepinl8 said...

Ah, young love! (or not so much lol). Well I guess the best time to get married is when you have set out looking for men and not wanting to get married, and them you meet "him' and suddenly you want to.
Your peignoir dilemma - hmm - well I don't exactly know about any specific businesses. you seem to know what you want for her anyway. I would check amazon. Last resort. Or

Joanna Jenkins said...

Congrats to your Mom! Getting married on Valentine's Day is so sweet.

It looks like you've got a lot of options above so I won't go on the hunt for the perfect wedding night gift.

Cheers, jj

Chris H said...

Can't help ya with the pj's for your Mum...

GO YOUR MUM! Getting married again ... how cool is that!

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

Saw this too late for recommendations.

When he was 75 my father in law (I had not yet met his daughter or him) married his girl-friend of (we think) 77.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to your mom!
Try a good department store--a Younkers or Kohl's or Macy's.
I hope the day goes swell for everyone!

Katie :o) said...

Too cute a tale! Best wishes for your mom's wedding :o) Can't help with the undies dilema... my own looks like grandma pants :o)