The first Asshat of the New Year is Awarded to----Jason Mark Harms!!
Over a 2-month period, Harms is accused of making 15 false 911 calls from his cell phone, reporting car crashes, gas leaks and house fires.
In order to catch this scofflaw, officials in Knoxville, Tennessee set up an elaborate sting designed to catch master criminals such as he.
Yes, that is sarcasm! ;-)
They called him and told him he'd won a gift card from a major retailer and asked him for his name and address.
Proving once again that asshattery is often combined with dumbassery, Harms offered to go one further. He asked if he could immediately come and pick his prize up.
When they slapped the cuffs on him, the first words out of this Mensa candidate's mouth were, "You can't prove it!"
Later he proclaimed to authorities that he was performing a public service to taxpayers by "drawing lazy firefighters out of their cozy halls."
I think we should start getting creative with sentencing, since our prisons are already overcrowded.
I vote we set his shorts on fire and give him a cell phone that is routed directly to Dunkin' Donuts when he dials 911.
You got any creative ideas?
August 1st's Asshat
June 10th's Asshat
May 24th's Asshat
May 8th's Asshat
April 25th's Asshat
April 10th's Asshat
March 28th's Asshat