Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Asshat of the Week---Jason Mark Harms

The first Asshat of the New Year is Awarded to----Jason Mark Harms!!

Over a 2-month period, Harms is accused of making 15 false 911 calls from his cell phone, reporting car crashes, gas leaks and house fires.

In order to catch this scofflaw, officials in Knoxville, Tennessee set up an elaborate sting designed to catch master criminals such as he.


Yes, that is sarcasm! ;-)

They called him and told him he'd won a gift card from a major retailer and asked him for his name and address.

Proving once again that asshattery is often combined with dumbassery, Harms offered to go one further. He asked if he could immediately come and pick his prize up.

When they slapped the cuffs on him, the first words out of this Mensa candidate's mouth were, "You can't prove it!"

'Doh!

Later he proclaimed to authorities that he was performing a public service to taxpayers by "drawing lazy firefighters out of their cozy halls."

I think we should start getting creative with sentencing, since our prisons are already overcrowded.

I vote we set his shorts on fire and give him a cell phone that is routed directly to Dunkin' Donuts when he dials 911.

You got any creative ideas?



_________________________
Previous Asshats:

August 1st's Asshat

June 10th's Asshat

May 24th's Asshat

May 8th's Asshat

April 25th's Asshat

April 10th's Asshat

March 28th's Asshat


21 comments:

carmachu said...

You know, all this "so called masterminds" always seem to fall for the "you win the prize" scams.

Its hysterical.

What a dumbass. Doesnt he realize that if the "lazy firemen" are out chaisng ghosts, they arent responding to real emergancies?

Dumbass.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who works the 911 line and it is so maddening (and dangerous) when jerks like this guy abuse it for their own amusement/stupidity.
Good call as to this week's "Asshat."
(And note his last name - "Harms" - hope he didn't cause any "harm" with those false calls.)

ally said...

this is a good call for asshat. i can't believe the stupidity!

Anonymous said...

People that abuse the 911 line have some serious karma waiting for them...like the one time *they* need it and somehow can't get through...

What a jerk.

Mr. Fabulous said...

That is all that guy has to do with his time?

I'd like 10 minutes in a room with him alone, frankly.

Rootietoot said...

Years ago, I worked with an ambulance service as an EMT. The middle of every month, we'd get a 911 call from a woman, who said she was bleeding. And, every month, because she'd called by 911, we'd have to go get her. Because she'd started her period.

Samantha said...

What an attention seeking little prat!

Anonymous said...

Hi Attila,
Congratulations are in order for Jason Mark Harms for being awarded the first “Asshat of 2007” award! He’d probably be proud of holding such a distinguished title, if he was made aware of it!

Here’s an idea for “creative sentencing” to help ease the overcrowded prison system; put the inmates to WORK, like they used to years ago. I don’t mean spending hours pumping iron or banging out a few license plates whenever they feel like it. How about repairing the Interstates that are in such deplorable condition; clearing the forests of unnecessary brush in the hopes of preventing devastating fires; or cleaning up the ghettos and slums in the inner cities? There’s a myriad of things that need to be taken care of but lack of initiative and/or money seems to be preventing these tasks from being done. The prisoners could live in “tent cities” or shacks close to where they’re working, which would reduce the population inside the Correctional Facilities by a substantial margin. It could be called an “on the job training program” or “rehabilitating yourself and the community”.

The penal system could become a self sustaining institution instead of a drain on the tax payers.

Anonymous said...

Looks like it's the 911 workers who actually got the prize - the "Asshat" won't be calling them anymore...

Anonymous said...

What a complete idiot! How sad it would be if someone actually caught in a REAL emergency did not get the care they needed because of this jerk!

BTW: "asshat" is my new favorite word! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

DANGIT! Once again I fail to be the Asshat of the Week. How come you always pick these LOSERS?

brenda said...

Put him in prison here in Arkansas, they still have hoe squads. He'd learn about cotton plants all close up and personal like.

Kim Ayres said...

I love the fact that whenever the police use the prize winning scam, afterwards most of the criminals will confess that it had only briefly crossed their minds that they hadn't in fact bought a ticket :)

Girl In Her Underwear said...

Aha ha! I LOVED your suggestion of how to deal with him! I always love reading your blog. I need to schedule time in my day to read it for my health!

Heather said...

what a fucking dumbass.
hope you have a good weekend!

Annie Drogynous said...

I love your idea to reroute his phone calls! Perhaps we should reroute it to The School for the Deaf.

Anonymous said...

Don't think I can top that. But it was the thought that someone would be in real trouble and not helped [or delayed] that made me unplug every phone in the house until Junior overcame his 'phase.'
Cheers dears and keep them coming

Anonymous said...

Oh gawd!

Anonymous said...

I second your vote! I think it already was the best idea, so won't try to top that!

Nikki said...

I say we just shoot his dumbass to keep him from breeding.

Simple.

abfh said...

I agree with Miss Litzi -- put him on a firefighting squad in a national forest. (In fact, there are diversion programs where young punks are sent to live in tent cities in the wilderness and are trained to fight forest fires.)

Then he would understand how hard firefighters have to work.