Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Sunday Trumpet---Gods and Generals

I don't go to see a lot of movies at the cinema. Long gone are the days when theaters were theaters----large upholstered seats with a modicum of legroom.

Nowadays Cineplexes are built to cram as many people in as small a space as possible, which is bad news for those who have wide ends or long legs.

Unfortunately, I have both.

So a movie would have to be pretty darn special for me to agree to wedge my heinie in and sit with my knees under my chin for a couple of hours. Otherwise, I'll wait for the DVD and watch it from the comfort of my own couch, thankyouverymuch!

Dorky Dad at Basement Epiphanies is either a very brave man or a masochist. I haven't been able to decide which yet. He ignored the reviews and the warning signs and got his bad self stuck watching Gods and Generals for almost 4 hours with a couple of buddies.

Run over here to read a very funny and brilliant review of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

What Dad and countless menfolk who've subjected themselves to this epic monstrosity don't realize is that Gods and Generals was produced by STUFF (Spouses Tired Uv Football Fanatics).

Just in retaliation for football season.

It's an intricate plot by wives to suck millions of collective dollars out of your wallets from ticket and concession sales, and keep you incapacitated for a few hours (hence the warning signs) so we can go buy the newest Coach wallet.

Our next production is sure to have guys flocking to the theater in droves---an exciting thriller called The Ice Fishermen. It's set on a frozen lake in Minnesota with a couple of guys sitting in a shack talking about cheese for 4 hours.

I'm mean we have to get the matching lipstick cases too!

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Note to New Gasbags: Don't forget to put these up on your blog on Sundays so the other Gasbags will do the same when it's your turn!


Brenda said...

I'd rather wait for the dvd too but did take the terrorist and his buds last night. It wasn't so bad, I took the Chick along to entertain me. I feel like I've been stomped on this morning though.

Why do theatres smell like a funky locker room?

Anonymous said...

The Ice Fisherman?! Hysterical!!!

I LOVE the movies. All the new theaters around here have the rocking chair seats with the awesome cup holders...stadium seating. I can't wait for the day that I can actually go in and enjoy a film that isn't animated!!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog - you make me laugh - and god knows, we all need humour in our lives.
(Your serious posts "get" to me as well.) Thanks for the day's chuckle.

Annie Drogynous said...

Yeah, but what kind of cheese are those guys talking about? I think that makes a difference as to whether or not the movie's a hit.

carmachu said...

Wow, that sounds like a REALLY bad movie.

Thanks for the warning...,