This post involves a little "girl talk", so if you're uncomfortable with that you might want to hit the back button.
But it's not like this is a private conversation, so feel free to jump on in.
I read an article the other day about a Russian man who grew a penis on his arm.
Once I got beyond the "ewwwww" factor, a lot of questions kept popping up in my mind. Inquiring minds and all...
I tried to talk to Hubby about it, but he just looked pained and made sure "his" were all still there.
Apparently the man had a birth defect. His johnson was only 2 1/2 inches long, crooked and he had no scrotum. Russian doctors amputated it and attached it to his arm.
Yes I know this sounds like the beginning to a really bad joke, but you can read the article here, and see the visuals.
Using body tissue, they grew it to 6 inches, then reattached it in the "right" place.
Unfortunately, the article is pretty vague about many of the particulars.
How long did this take? I'm guessing that it had to have taken weeks or months. I doubt there is some kind of miracle qualities about arms that grow tissue at an advanced rate, or else we'd hear about people walking around with ears and noses and stuff attached to their arms for replacement parts for accident victims.
Michael Jackson would probably have 4 noses in assorted shapes and styles growing on his staff... I mean his employees.
So considering that the procedure probably took at least a couple of months, did the patient have to have special shirts made? I can't see him strapping that thing under his watchband to keep it in place. Or did he just wear [eek!] short sleeves?
What about nerve endings? Did "it" have sensation or movement, or was it just a flopping useless hunk of meat?
Kevin Federline jokes aside, I tried to imagine what the experience would be like. The closest I could come to was considering strapping a kielbasa to my forearm for a day.
I wouldn't think it would be pleasant, and it would probably make ordinary life difficult, like when you have to stick your hand down the garbage disposal to pull out chicken bones and gunk.
And geez, what if he got excited? I swear, if I was at the mall and saw a guy with a boner on his arm in the panty department at Sears, I'd rip my eyeballs out and throw myself headfirst down the closest escalator!
I think technology today is amazing. The doctors reattached the patient's member and fashioned a new scrotum with silicone testicles. I'm sure it made a huge difference in his life in regards to his body self-image and esteem. They also inserted silicone tubes to ensure that erection is possible.
But I do have a skeptic's view of the surgeon's final claim.
“Women will never suspect it is artificial.”
Yeah, sure. And frog's legs really do "taste just like chicken!"