It seems our assigned gasbagger has forgotten all about us. No worries. Dorky Dad is up next week, and I know he won't let us down!
A new semester is about to start, and I can't claim to be on Christmas vacation any more. Time to buckle down and get down to the real-life bullcrap I've been putting off.
New Year, a whole new steaming bowl full of...argh!
For my friends who've stuck it out this last year (and thank you very much for all your support and advice!), you already know about the issues both of my guys face. I won't go into it again, but for those who've only been tuning into my blog recently, these links will catch you up to speed----Wish Me Luck and I'm Still Here. They're about my Big Kid's breakdown and my decision to go back to college with him.
Here's the new vicious circle.
Last semester at college, Big Kid withdrew or failed every class but one. He actually did quite well in the one class we had together, mainly because I acted as his prime disability support. I took notes for both of us, kept track of assignment dates, and basically did everything but beat him over the head with a shovel to make sure he got his assignments completed and in on time.
I'm not blaming him---we spent the entire semester trying to get his meds for Bi-polar Disorder right, and he was unable to take any kind of meds to help with his ADHD or OCD because he wasn't stable and they could throw him into a manic episode.
So while his cognitive ability wasn't affected, his processing speed was so slow that it was taking him 10 times as long to read or complete assignments.
It was exhausting for all of us.
We've just started him back on stimulant meds for his ADHD. While he's feeling more focused and clear-headed, we've also had to balance his other meds, because you guessed it---wham, bam, manic all over again. It's a tricky tightrope act.
The problem is with his insurance. He's over 19, and the only way he can continue to be insured is if he is a full-time college student. There is absolutely no way he can carry a full load successfully right now.
I'm not being pessimistic. I'm being realistic.
Dropping out isn't an option. He doesn't have the skills to get a good job with benefits (he doesn't even drive!), and an unskilled minimum-wage job would barely cover his medical expenses, much less offer him a career with a future.
There is no way that hubby and I could carry the expense ($700-1300 a month) for an extended length of time.
In Colorado, a new law was put into effect last year. Parents can keep their children on their insurance until they're 25, even if they're not full-time students.
Unfortunately, Big Kid is under his dad's insurance which is out of California so it doesn't apply. His dad is trying to negotiate some kind of disability waiver with his company, and we're keeping our fingers crossed. I'm not holding my breath though. His company has been trying to dump the Big Kid off their insurance rolls for almost a year, because he doesn't actually live in the ex's home. This would be an ideal opportunity.
We've applied for disability medical benefits, but have been advised that the process could take around 6 months. That's if he qualifies.
Soooo---what to do? Enroll full-time in college knowing he's going to tank a couple of classes just to keep him insured? Arrghh---what to do, what to do?
On our plate with Little Guy is that he'll turn 17 in a few months (When You Reach a Fork in the Road). We've been advised by his transitions caseworker to start getting the paperwork together to apply for guardianship after he's 18. Meaning we'd have to go to court while he's still a minor, because it's extremely difficult to do after he reaches the age of majority.
This is something we've been dreading and fighting with ourselves about. While we have every hope that he'll be able to live with minimal assistance in the future, he is of the personality that is ripe for victimization. It wouldn't be hard for some unscrupulous character to get Little Guy's signature on something (credit application, rental agreement, etc) that he'd be legally bound to as an adult. Or be in a position like the young man with autism who was hustled into the military by a recruiter with a quota last spring.
Going to court to seek guardianship just seems-----I don't want to say final.
But there it is.
It's like putting an official period at the end of a sentence. I'm not looking forward to it.
So what crappy things are YOU facing this year? Just so I don't feel so alone and all....