Monday, April 10, 2006
Asshat Of The Week
This week's award goes to: Rep. Cynthia McKinney!
I tried to stay away from this one, I really tried.
But as this has escalated over the past couple of weeks, it occurred to me that some very basic tenets most of us learned in childhood could have gone a long way towards nipping this in the bud.
Kindergarten 101 Refresher Course
1. Rules are there for a reason. Although sometimes it might feel like it, rules weren't made to specifically screw up your personal day.
2. The rules apply to everyone.
That means you.
Mom and Dad might think you're precociously special, but to everyone else, you're just an Asshat.
3. A little courtesy goes a long way.
4. Hitting is bad.
5. Hitting Officer Friendly is really bad.
6. Hitting Officer Friendly and then making inflammatory statements that he "inappropriately touched" you to excuse your own behavior is really really bad.
He didn't feel you up. He restrained you when you were breaking the rules (see #2) and trying to push your way through a security checkpoint put there for everyone's safety.
7. Fibbing is bad. Going on National TV and fibbing is even worse.
You are there to do your job. Officer Friendly is there to do his job. If you had practiced a little of #3 instead of hitting him with your cell phone, you could have saved a lot of your time and taxpayer's money that is being wasted on this nonsense.
Besides, you and your escapades are hogging all the news channels, taking precious air time away from Jen and Brangelina who clearly deserve it more than you do.
8. Saying you're sorry is good. Recognizing that sometimes saying you're sorry just isn't enough is even better.
9. There are consequences to our actions.
I think you need a time out, young lady.
Last week's Asshat.