Monday, April 03, 2006
The little guy is having a birthday later this month, and he gave us a list of things he would like for presents.
Included were DVDs of Super Nanny, and Nanny 911, which are his new favorite TV shows (I wrote about it a week or so ago in Parents On The Verge...).
Big problem. They're not available yet.
The ABC Family Channel had a Super Nanny Marathon on Sunday, so we thought we'd tape it for him.
Anyhoo, while we were busy getting our big guy washed, pressed and packed at the last minute to head back to college after Spring Break, we were all treated to some marathon action in the background.
On one episode-- it's a complete blur---either the parents who had 2 sets of twins under the age of three all screaming with need for parental attention, or the dolled-up hoochie-haltered mommy who made a big production of actually baking cookies for the camera while she was oblivious to her 3-year-old running bare-footed down the street with scissors, the Nanny asked, "have you ever thought about hiring help?"
Whichever parent Nanny was asking got all indignant over the question and said "I wouldn't trust my little angels to strangers!"
My husband, who is absolutely the most laid-back, easy-going and understanding spouse next to Charlie Callahan's wife Martha, said under his breath...
"They don't need to hire help. They need freaking Tasers."
This set off a discussion of a trend we've been noticing since being forced to watch these shows.
It seems that the kid with the most pretentious or porn star-ish name is the one you'd most like to hit on the head with a shovel.
Could there be some sort of correlation between bad behavior and hideous names?
I'm not going to start insulting readers for their choices, just in case someone really does think the name Seagrams is a good name for a girl.
The Misanthropic B*tch does it better (just be warned this is a very salty essay). So does the author of Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing, A Primer of Parental Cruelty.
Little guy went to kindergarten with an adorable girl named Felicia.
At least we thought that was her name.
At a school recital, in the program, it was spelled Phallicia.
I Kid You Not.
It makes you wonder what her parents were thinking.
Were they planning a career for her in the porn industry? Did they want her to be the girl voted "Most Likely To Go Postal and Blow Up Her Prom?"
Who in their right mind would name their daughter after a penis?
Sheesh! Tasers for everyone!