Monday, July 10, 2006
You Can Get EVERYTHING at Walmart! I Mean EVERYTHING!!
I just had to write something about this funny happening at Walmart.
A couple of months ago, on a message board I belong to, everyone was posting their good/bad/odd experiences at Walmart. There was a heated debate about how Walmart goes into small towns, swallows up what business the old mom and pop stores have, how they treat their employees badly, etc.
People posted a rash of recent weird Walmart articles reported in the news including the lady who was unloading her groceries and had her toes licked by some nutjob who was hiding underneath her car.
A couple of weeks ago, Brittany Miller of Ogden, Utah came out of Walmart with more than she expected.
She was shopping with her grandma, went in the bathroom and Whoa Nellie! started to give birth.
Employees sent out a 911 call, and an EMT happened to be across the street.
He used fresh towels from the Martha Stewart Collection...no nevermind, that's Kmart (but I'd bet Martha would use the PR if she could! She'd probably show us how to make the placenta into lasagna and string a tennis racket with strands from the umbilical cord) and shoelaces to tie off the cord.
The full-term 6 pound, 1 ounce baby girl was just fine. She was named Kalie, nicknamed "Marty" after Walmart.
The mother, Brittany, "had no pain, nothing".
In fact, she didn't even know she was pregnant.
Ok, well I've heard stories about this since I was a teenager.
Scary legends about women who give birth without ever knowing they're pregnant. In some cases I'm inclined to believe it. Stranger things have happened.
The version I heard was from a woman who worked with a woman who knew a woman who was a waitress in a restaurant.
Apparently the woman who was known by the woman who told the woman who told me gave birth in the toilet, had no idea (there was no explanation of what happened to the afterbirth), and obliviously got up off the pot and went back to work.
She was only made aware of it when someone noticed a blood trail that led to her. Then everyone raced back and found a baby in the toilet.
My first thought was..."Well eww, gross! Was she one of those nasty slags who crap in public toilets and just walk away while never bothering to flush?"
Did she at least wash her hands before going back to serve food?
My second thought was, "If I plopped out a 7-pound *turd*, I think I'd take the time and LOOK at it before flushing. Maybe give myself an "atta boy!"
I'd probably take a picture of it and send it to the Guinness Book of World Records!"
I guess I'm just demented that way.