Friday, July 07, 2006
Don't Try This at Home
What IS it with guys and things that go boom?
Is it in the chromosomes? Hormones? Something in the water?
When my older brother was a kid, he and his friends used to mix up the most gawd-awful concoctions with their chemistry sets (which usually included vinegar and baking soda). They'd seal them in different containers to see if they'd explode.
Once in awhile, after baking in the sun, they did. Kaboom!
Then the guys graduated to lighting each other's farts. That endeavor ended abruptly one day when one of my brother's compadres didn't squinch up his butt cheeks fast enough to cut off the gas flow after ignition.
Nothing like singed butt hair and a blistered ass-crack to take the joy out of life.
A Westmoreland, Pennsylvania man was admitted to the hospital earlier this week after attempting to make fireworks in his basement. A carbon dioxide cartridge exploded while he was trying to drill a hole in it, blowing shrapnel into his stomach. He was treated for a collapsed lung and internal bleeding.
A large percent of Hempstead Texas' police force (of 13 officers) was suspended and indicted on felonies stemming from a stupid-ass "prank".
One swat-team grenade was set off under a police car at a truck stop, by an idiot on the force.
The Police Chief promised an investigation.
Then the same idiot set off a second grenade at a backyard party.
A party-guest lost a foot.
Two full-time officers and five reserve officers are accused of tampering with evidence and concealing a potential crime by cleaning up the scene.
And last but not least, a Magnolia, Delaware man decided that Kingsford Charcoal Lighter Fluid just didn't have the kick needed to jump start his barbeque grill. So he poured gunpowder in it.
The explosion resulted in burns to his hands and face.
The police say that alcohol was definitely involved.
Let's just hope it was the booze that led to all of these other incredibly asinine acts.
At least for us women. Who'd want to admit to be married to such stupid dumbasses?