Thursday, July 27, 2006

My Kid is Top Drawer

Well, we're back from concerting.

The big kid came through it without any weird scars, holes or tattoos, although my older brother DID have to haul him out for some fresh air at some point. Too many hot, sweaty, stinky bodies slamming up against each other tends to make one a little nauseous.

I really debated with myself about whether or not to blog about this. Kevin pointed out that I've already blogged about the kid's butt once, so how could this be worse?

He's got a point.

Which brings me to:

Sharing a Hotel Room with Your College-age Son

Rule #1 Pack him a pair of jammies. Don't expect him to do it. Just pack them.

When the guys were little, they used to run around in their underoos. Little kids do that.

When they hit puberty, though, Management set up a new rule.

In the morning, all of the men in the house must put some pants on before coming into the kitchen.

There are some things I just don't need to see over my morning cup of coffee. The national news is bad enough.

There were complaints. I just woke up! Can't I get dressed AFTER I take a shower?
It's not fair!

Fair, schmair. You don't see ME walking around with my naughty bits popping out all over the place.

I offered to sew the flies of their boxers shut for them. That went over like a lead balloon.

So, pants it is.

Anyway, after a very hot, very long drive to the big city, we checked into the hotel room. My brother wasn't due to pick up the big kid for a couple of hours, so he decided to take a nap.

I turned the air conditioner on (oh joy!) and the kid decided to use the facilities. He came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his boxers. And flopped on the bed.

Flopped all OVER the bed.


"Aiiighghghgh!!!! Put your jammy pants on!"

I didn't bring any.


I didn't bring any.

"Then get under the blanket!"

It's too hot!

"Then put your pants back on, dammit! Show some consideration!"

C'mon Mom, at least I'm not sleeping naked!


I did get to have my quiet evening alone, with my book and room service. Even got my bubble bath. It was heaven!

Big brother dropped the kid off around midnight. He was exhausted but had a great time.

This morning I got up bright and early, got packed and ready to go. I shook big kid's foot through the blanket.

"It's time to get up! We've got a long drive."

Nooooooooooo!!! He rolled over onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over his head. Five more minutes, please!!!!

Five minutes later I went to his bed and poked him. "C'mon, sleepyhead!"

No response.

So I pulled the blanket off of him.

And did a double-take.

There was a big gaping hole in the back of his boxers. Did he tear them while moshing?


"Honey, did you know that your boxers are on backwards?"


What in the world? Was this some sort of teen-age fad that I'd never heard of?

"Is there some reason why you have them on backwards?"

His voice was muffled from under the pillow.

Geez, Mom, I was just trying to be considerate!



Sven said...

"all of the men in the house must put some pants on before coming into the kitchen.

That big eh?

As for the backward undies, we used to do turn them inside out in college in order to get an extra day out of them before we did laundry. Seemed reasonable at the time.

Beki said...

I have tears in my eyes laughing!

carmachu said...

Bwahahahaha......YOu got what you asked for at the end, just not what you wanted. His dangle bits werent hanging out anymore at least....*snicker*

Yes, in a couple years, I wont be able to wander around the house in my underwear in the morning, or just pee with sarah wandering in and out of the bathroom. I'll have to start closing and locking the door.

Right now she's facsinated by the fact that boys can make bubbles while peeing.....

Kevin Charnas said...

HA!!! LOL! Hey, he's got a point...or a hole. he's kind of right though, huh?

SSOOO GLAD that you posted this...the best thing my crabby ass has read all day. Thanks!

Special K said...

And you know? I believe him.

Big Pissy said...

That is too funny!!!!

Pretty inventive too!

Nikki said...


Thnks for blogging this!

Brenda said...

Ha! At least you were relaxed and able to handle all that after getting your bubble bath!

kim said...


This is exactly what I needed - a great laugh!

Erin said...

That's too funny.

Daughter of 2 women said...

Oh my! Too funny. I have 4 boys - is this my destiny?

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

That is so funny. At least he is comfotable with his body..


A Bishop wife said...

As a wife and mother of three boys,

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard........
It is too real!

Samantha said...

LMAO! Thanks for the laugh, what a great story!

Miss Keeks said...

Very funny! I'll be giggling all day~

Anonymous said...

Teenage boys? I've got them in my house too...I think they must be adopted.

Rhonda said...

LOL! Too funny.

At least he's industrious.

RC said...

how funny.

i would be so embarassed for my mom to see any of that...

i definitly wear pajama pants around my family.

--RC of

Rootietoot said...

yeah, all 4 of my boys do that. I threatened to tie their peckers to their legs to keep them from smiling at me. Then I threatened to go braless. Toothless threats.