Friday, July 14, 2006


That Wenchette Rhonda tagged me the other day...

So let's keep it as short and painless as possible:

Five Things in my Refrigerator:

1). Hubby's ultra-expensive-can't-start-the-morning-without-2 0z.-double-chocolate-low-carb-low-cal-high-fiber-meal-replacement drinks. They're stored next to 12 bottles of his Heineken. And the cardiac-arrest-inducing table cream we use for our morning coffee.

2). 4 bottles of half-used Kraft "Light Done Right" Ranch Dressing. I put them next to the salad bowl at dinner. The guys look in the fridge for salad dressing. They don't see it, so they go to the pantry and open a new bottle, which then has to be refrigerated.

Or there's 2 inches left in the bottom and it's too much work to turn it over, shake it and squeeze. You should see all the shampoo bottles in their shower.

3). 3 half-used bottles of ketchup. See above.

4). A big bottle of V-8, expiration 2003. The minute we throw it out, one of the dogs will get skunked. It's a fact. I can't bear to buy a new big bottle when we never opened the old one. I'm cheap. I can't help myself.

5). Diet Peach Snapple. I used to have Plumogranite, but those Communist Bastards discontinued delivering it in the mountains. Feh!

Five Things in my Closet:

1). 42 pairs of Hubby's shoes. Imelda Marcos has nothing on him! I rotate my 4 pairs on a regular basis, so they're close at hand (meaning you can find them somewhere on the bedroom floor). He has a pair of 30-year-old white Florsheims I've never seen him wear, so you get the idea.

2). A big crate of old bathroom reading material. I think there's about 8 years of The New Yorker stashed in there. I also recently found some Time Magazines and Cosmos from back when Reagan was president. Wonder if there's an ebay market for any of them?

3). All of the suits and ties Hubby stopped wearing 8-9 years ago when he dropped out of the corporate world and opened his own business. He wears them about 2 times a year. Everything else is enshrined in plastic. His crap takes up about 7/8ths of the closet.

4). I think our wedding video is stashed in there somewhere.

5). No holiday or birthday presents. The kids have gotten smarter, and that's the first place they look, so we hide them someplace else.

Ditto with our handcuffs and leather crotchless underwear.

Just kidding.

Five Things in my Purse:

1). My wallet, if I can find it.

2). A tampon that got so beat up that the paper covering tore off and it's big and puffy.

How embarrassing is that?

3). A zillion grocery receipts that I saved because they had local coupons on the back that I never get around to using.

4). About 15 grocery lists.

5). Foof. Nothing makes you feel more confident than a tiny spritz of Chanel.

Five Things in My Car:

1). My keys. Can't lose them if they're sitting in the tray. Unless, of course, Hubby moves or uses my car. Then who the hell knows where they'll end up?

2). An ice scraper. I know, I'm so boring.

3). A book. Just for my car. I take it with me to any appointment where I have to wait for something (tune-up, doctor, dentist, school testing).

Needless to say, I always forget what went on before, because I have other books I read in the house, so I have to start at the beginning to remember what I read. I think the current book has been in my car for about 6 months.

Don't ask me the title. I have no idea. Must not be that good.

4). Some tapes for when the radio reception due to weather/mountains is bad. Currently---Indigo Girls, Fleetwood Mac and Santana.

5). A notebook and pen. In case I have to write something down for future reference.

I'm going to tag Kevin next, simply because I'm dying to know what he carries in HIS man-bag.

And I'm going to tag Brenda!


St Jude said...

Fluffy tampon. That beats my dead spider hands down :0)

KL said...

Believe it or not, I have a birthday card I bought over 2 years ago for a friend and never sent....was going to send it this year, but my being in the hospital over his birthday messed that up. Guess I will have to try to remember to send it next year!

And is it bizarre that I have a ton of makeup in there, yet I NEVER wear makeup?

See....I do TRY to be a female and not a grownup tomboy! LOL


I have yarn and a book in the purse. In case I get bored I can crochet something. If I also get bored and don't want to crochet something. By the way tomato juice doesn't work. My yorkie was skunked when we lived in OK. For some crazy reason he loves chasing them. We used Febreze. It is safe on animals. It was the only thing that worked.

DutchBitch said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DutchBitch said...

Do you still have to work thru those 15 grocery lists... Poor you! LOL

I have a tampon like that in my bag as well!

carmachu said...

Wow, are the contents of purses stadard issue for most women or what. That sounds like the same crap in my wife's purse.....

THROW OUT THE RECIEPTS. You will never use them. The Mrs never does...

Brenda said...

I'll get right on this either tonight or tomorrow. These danged 'maters and tax clients with extensions who are finally bringing their stuff to me are keeping me from doing the things I LIKE to do,,like blog and sleep!

Brenda said...

P.S. GASP! Dead spider? st Jude, Where you been child that spiders lurk in yer bag?

kim said...

yep fluffy tampon wins over my beat up maxipad too lol

Jenny said...

Toss the fluffy tampon. You know you're never going to use it.

Although it might make a good eyeshadow wand...

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Hilarious! I love that people's fridges reveal their food bipolar behavior. ours: fresca, Havarti cheese. weight watchers yogurt/ nutella. oh the lies we tell ourselves.

Fluffy tampon made me laught out loud. Seen a few of those in my tough on a purse days.


Mr. Fabulous said...

Wait a have 4 pairs of shoes and he has 42?

You're the girl, right? :)

Kathy said...


To Fab;I'm the most lucky girl on the planet, because I got to spend a week with Atilla in her mountain paradise last year. I will say, she is a beautiful woman, and just like me, knows that practical beats clutter. Not to mention the fact that the woman is busy 28 hours a day, eight days a week. No time for spike heels and fancy dancing shoesl.

Of the 40+ pairs of shoes many women own, I bet they wear less than 10 on a regular basis. Age has it's good points, and one of them is realizing comfort comes first, in most cases.

Me said...

42 shoes!!!
That is so cool.
That is really coOL and Attila, the car keys in the cars. THat's a freaking cool idea! How can you ever lose them then. But do you ever accidently lock the car with keys inside?