Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I Don't Know Whether to be Pissed or Proud

The other day was a day from hell. I don't know how to feel about it.

Spent the morning running errands. The the Aspiring Adult (forgot to tell you guys that he's back home with us, but that's another story for another time. Let's just say he learned his lesson, is attending school and doing really great and working as well), needed me to pick him up after he dropped off his car for an alignment.

Ran to the store and the post office (selling all that crap for my mom on ebay--this time my dad's postcard collection). The Aspiring Adult had been sick for about a week, and finally manned up and got a doctor's appointment for the afternoon, which he needed a ride for.

Little Guy came home after culinary school about noon. Since I needed to run more errands in the afternoon, he had a choice---come and help, or stay home. He's been so responsible that for the last 6 months or so we've been able to leave him at home alone for an hour or two. When he comes and helps, he asks for a treat, so we agreed on a Creamslush from Sonic.

Took the Aspiring Adult to the doctor and dropped him off. Our agreement was that after his appointment, he'd run across the street to the store, get his prescription and call me when he was done to be picked up.

I waited. And waited. Tried calling the AA on his cell, but just got voicemail.

Since I had other errands to run, I figured I'd try to call him later from my cell. Little Guy and I were off.

First off, Little Guy got agitated because I hadn't turned the clocks in my car forward for daylight savings time. I explained that I didn't know how to do it, that I needed his dad to do it, and that I'd ask him as soon as he got home. It just wasn't enough. Little Guy kept going on and on about it. I finally said, "Please! I don't want to talk about this anymore! I'm stressed out and I need to concentrate on driving!"

Arrrggghhh. He got all bent out of shape about it. Not just the hairy eyeball, but kicks to the floorboard of the car and big huge sighs.

We went back to the post office to mail more stuff, and Little Guy was all stompy and rude to the postal workers, who he's really on friendly terms with. We went to the dry cleaners and he refused to get out of the car. So I ran in and out. We ran by Sonic, got the creamslush, and FINALLY got a hold of the Aspiring Adult. It had been 3 hours since I had dropped him off at the doctor's.

Well duh. While waiting for his prescription, he ran into some old friends and they were now at Starbucks. So "sorry", he didn't know that I had other things to do other than to wait on his call. Grrr. He'd get a ride home by himself. He wasn't aware that I had a life beyond his immediate needs, so he didn't think it mattered what he did.

Drove back to our little burg's shopping center, ran in to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine we'd ordered for a gift and that was being held for us. I was in there for maybe 4 minutes.

Came back to the car, and Little Guy was gone.

He was gone. Totally gone. My heart just about stopped.

The creamslush was sitting on the seat, practically full.

I looked around the parking lot (which is large), and there was no sign of him. I called for him. No answer.

For the next 20 minutes I drove around, asked people if they'd seen him.

Of course, I said, "have you seen my child?" or "have you seen my son?"

I ran in and out of the various shops.

They all got concerned (my child) until I described him. He's almost 21 years old and an adult.

My big fear was that he might have seen someone he knew and went off with them, because he thinks everybody who knows him is a friend, and unfortunately, there are some people who don't wish him well. He wouldn't have taken off with a stranger. He's NEVER wandered off before. EVER.

My other fear was that he was so annoyed with me about the clock thing that he might have tried to walk home by himself up the highway.

I was about to call 911, when I saw him up by where I had left my car originally. He was looking around. I jumped out of where I was and yelled at him across the parking lot. It had been 30 minutes since I had discovered him gone.

So, the end game is that he had to go to the bathroom. He knew there was one in the grocery store across the parking lot from where we were. He decided to be capable and took off on his own.

I cried all the way home. I just couldn't help myself. The crying really freaked him out, but the situation really freaked ME out!

When hubby came home, we sat down and had a talk with him about it.

One one hand, I'm really proud that he recognized his need and found out how to take care of it on his own. On the other, he really scared the crap outta me.

Gah. I don't know if he was able to benefit from the teaching moment or if my immediate hysterical reactions of "I thought somebody took you!!" has colored it all.


Webster said...

Oh Attila, I'm so sorry you had such a bad day, but glad that it ended well. I guess the teaching moment for Big Kid was kind of overshadowed by his visit to Starbuck's with his friends. Glad you got your stuff done today, and you know, I guess you even got in a little cardio workout as well, thanks to Little Kid!

Kirby Carespodi said...

Yep, that 'bout sums it up with kids--scared, relieved, pi$$ed, proud, frustrated...yep.

Big Daddy Autism said...

Holy crud. I would have freaked too. He got so much of it right, he just left out one step - telling you where he was going.

Jeanie said...

There is not much worse than the kind of fear you were feeling when he was lost and there is not much better than the relief when you found him. No wonder you had to cry. I'm glad it all turned out okay.

Willoughby said...

You're right, that was the day from Hell! Thank goodness he was okay!

Gail Dixon said...

Oh my goodness, so glad this had a happy ending. My heart was in my stomach reading that. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I would have freaked out, too!

Anonymous said...

Oh good grief. I hope you had a bottle of wine at hand when you got back home. If anyone deserved it...

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I've gone through the same kind of stuff with my husband who has traumatic brain injury. sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I know the fear.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I yiyi-- That is so scary. Those must have been 30 very long minutes. So glad it worked out.

xo jj

Brenda said...

I know that had to be one of those heart stopping moments. Hang in there ATM.

Cynthia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cynthia said...

Whew...I might have chugged the creamslush and the wine right there in the car...but then again, it's nice to just fantasize and maintain responsibility...sigh...glad it ended well.

Valerie-Marie said...

((ATM)) what a sh---y day!

Jennifer Leeland said...

Ugh!!!! I don't know how you do it.
Like Valerie-Marie said. What a shitty day.