Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Little Bit of Joy and a Little Bit of Oy

I found a scrap of paper on the floor the other day. I glanced at it and the top said, "THD's To-Do List For Monday". Listed were:

Look around!
Is the bathroom clean
Are the dogs fed
Does the trash need to go out
Are there dishes in the sink
Tell the manager you need more hours at work for school credit
Finish reading assignment
Hint that you need your own cellphone

Bless his heart. LOL

On Saturday, Hubby took THD out on his errands to acquaint him with the geography of our town and to introduce him to whatever friends or associates they might run into. As I said in my last post, the phone has been ringing off the hook since THD has apparently given our unlisted phone number to every person who has asked for it (not that there is anything wrong with that). So while they were gone, I got to play social secretary.

When they got back, the Dood asked if anyone had called. I looked at my list.

"Ashley, Amber, Alyssa, Andrea and Azure called. And some girl who wouldn't leave a message."

Thanks! He grabbed the phone and raced up to the loft to start dialing.

Hubby looked at me. "Is it just me, or does it seem like he's working his way through the student body alphabetically? How many weeks do you think it will take him to get to 'Z' ?"
I feel like breaking my foot off in my brother's butt. He went on a bender shortly after THD's arrival, and he hasn't checked in to my mother's house for the last 5 days. There are several items of mail there from the Department of Family services from the state THD was in. Including, I'm supposing, THD's medicaid transfer. The kid has 3 days left of medication, has a mental health intake next week and a doctor's appointment. But no medicaid card. Mom won't just open the mail or forward it to me, even knowing it's regarding THD (because that would be wrong), and my brother isn't returning anyone's calls. Grrr.
Last night I was up to my elbows in meatloaf mix (you know, where you have to squish all the ingredients by hand) when the phone rang.

THD and Hubby were outside splitting wood, so I said to Little Guy, "Why don't you answer it?"

Little Guy is a bit afraid of using the telephone. Mostly because it involves spontaneous conversation, and he isn't very comfortable talking to strangers without having a rehearsed set of comments ready. Although we've practiced good phone etiquette, he was nervous.

"You can do it!" I encouraged.

So he clicked on the button. Hello? THD? He's outside, hold on. Wait. Can I tell him who's calling?

Suddenly his mouth dropped open. I'm not allowed to say that. That's not very nice.

I grabbed a towel and started wiping the glop off my hands. "Who is it?"

He pulled the phone away from his ear.

It's a VAGINA! he exclaimed in a fairly loud stage whisper.

"A what?"

He said it louder. IT'S A VAGINA!!

I took the phone from him. We've had our share of crank calls and I can verbally blister someone's eardrums with dispatch. What kind of idiot would make a nasty phone call when everyone has caller ID nowadays?

"Who is calling please?" I asked crisply.

A scared little voice said, "Is this THD's house?"

"Yes, and who are YOU?"

"Could you please tell him Regina called?" Then she hung up.

R-E-G-I-N-A. Rhymes with....

Oy. Poor kid.


Formerly known as Frau said...

OMG too funny "I'm not aloud to say that!" Poor guy will never answer the phone again!

KrisMrsBBradley said...

Oh, poor both of them, lol! She probably won't call back! Oh gosh!

Charlie said...

Good news, bad news, Little Guy news, but I don't think we'll ever hear dull news from you, Mom.

That Medicaid card sounds like pretty serious news, though. I hate it when people have principles.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'm glad it wasn't a 'Dick' calling!
I'm hoping there's more joy and less oy in the weeks ahead!


Beth said...

Sounds like things are just fine in that household of yours - lots of laughter and joy!

Star said...

The funniest stories come from real life. You may have to get him a cell phone for your own sanity.

Chris H said...

Get THD a cellphone asap! Cute list of his.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I love your blog! Seriously, I save it for THE PERFECT MOMENT-- the time of the day when I could use a good laugh, then I sit, read and nearly pee my pants laughing. You guys rock!

stinkypaw said...

LOL poor kid and poor little Guy, talk about a rough start with the phone!

Hope things settles soon with his medicaid card and your brother.

The Quacks of Life said...

guffaw poor little guy!!!

Anonymous said...

Aw, Little Guy is so dang sweet;)
Glad THD is fitting in--now if your brother can get his sh*t together!

ntsc said...

Yup that is the classic way that word, which means Queen in Latin, is pronounced. The girl I went with who had that name had to change pronunciation to Regena with a hard e. She made it through college but not into the work force.

Anonymous said...

So, uh, THD is literally, The Happening Dude with all his phone calls, no?


Queen of the Mayhem said...

How funny! I am sure he was traumatized!!!

Tricia Ryder said...

I really enjoy reading your posts and this one was no exception.

Your two young lads are great characters!

I do hope your bro gets his act together soon.

Laura said...

I guess that's the last time he answers the phone. No pre-planned comments could cover that. Poor Regina, though, she probably has to deal with that a lot. Wonder what her last name is.

Brenda said...

Ha! You life seems to stumble along in just the right places. You are such a lucky Mom! I LOVE the Vagina conversation!

Valerie Marie said...

LG is sooooo sweet! ((hugs))

Michelle Flaherty said...

Of course the one time he answers the phone, right?! Poor thing, and he was doing so well until "Vagina" called. Lol.