Thursday, May 01, 2008

Blogging Against Disabilism Day 2008...Little Pitchers Have Big Ears

Hubby and I have always tried to be careful about what we discuss in front of the guys, because you never know what might be repeated at a future date (and at the worst possible time).

When we were kids, my older brother--the smartypants--fancied himself as the joke expert in the family. Whenever anyone ELSE would tell a joke, he'd retort, "That's as old as my grandma, and she farts dust!"

Needless to say, when Grandma came to visit and older brother was trying to entertain her with his wit, that exact phrase came back to haunt him when it popped out of my 6-year-old brother's mouth in response. Ouch!

Little pitchers and all...

Some months ago, my ex-husband asked for a copy of Little Guy's medical records and evaluations. His oldest in his second family was having some developmental issues and was being evaluated for Asberger's Syndrome (which is a form of high-functioning autism).

After zipping him off his copies, I talked about it with Hubby. I was a bit perplexed that ex didn't want a copy of Big Kid's records as well, especially since there have been many instances of ADHD being misdiagnosed as Asberger's and vice versa, and there is a strong family history of ADD/ADHD. In fact, many of ex's son's symptoms mirrored Big Kid's at that age----impulsivity, running amok, defiance, inability to sit still, lack of attention, etc.

We went on to discuss Big Kid and where he's at now at the age of 21. The med regimen he started last August has been a great combination---the new stimulant he takes for ADHD doesn't set off his bipolar and make him manic, and he hasn't had a rage attack in months. Fortunately (or unfortunately) it hasn't dulled his personality---he's still the same ornery, contrary cuss he's always been.

Or as we say from time to time between ourselves---"there IS no pill for a$$hole".

So Little Guy comes home from school the other day, and we chat while we're making dinner.

"Did you know that Hot Cutie (his girlfriend) has a disability?"

He was agog.

Well, Honey, so do you.

"You mean I don't have autism? I have a disability instead?"

Eek. This needed some sit-down time. I tried to explain that the term disability encompasses a wide range of conditions, while the term autism was more or less specific. He has autism, and so does Hot Cutie. His friend XXXX has a physical disability and uses a wheelchair. His brother Big Kid has a disability which is completely different (didn't want to get into all of the specifics so I left it at that).

Then I asked if he understood what I was trying to say.

He was thrilled that it all clicked for him and he nodded enthusiastically.

"I have autism and it's a disability. Hot Chick has autism and it's a disability. Big Kid has a disability too.

...Mom, does Big Kid have A$$holeberger's Syndrome?"


Gonna go wash my mouth out with soap now.

Carol Brady would be so ashamed.


I originially posted this on Disaboom a few months ago, but brought it back for Blogging Against Disabilism Day 2008. Check out some of the fabulous bloggers who are participating!


Balqiz said...

Hi ATM, I've been following your blog since last year.Whenever you mentioned ADD/ADHD, it pique my interest and so I did a research of my own on it.

Recently, I went to see a doctor on ADD/ADHD and my suspicions were correct. I have ADD all this while and I never know it. Nor does my family.

When I told my mom this, she denied that I have it. I dont know why she refused to accept it but the worse was yet to come.

I told my husband and he just grunted. I thought he was accepting it rather well until one day he said something that made me realized, either he can't accept it or he just dont understand it.

He said, "You r who u r and despite wat you may think, that ADD matter is something you come up with just as an excuse for your explosive temper and such. Stop the drama and just admit that you have problem and I'm not talking bout the ADD matter"

This was a big blow to me coz it was already a struggle for me to know who is the real me n which part of me is the ADD monster.

ADD in Malaysia is pretty vaguely understood and many kids that hav it are mistakenly diagnose as "hyperactive".

It's not easy for me to get medication for my ADD coz if words leak out, I have the fear that my company wont look too lightly on it.

Maybe because I have it all my life, it's not pretty noticeble as I cover it well.

I guess Im tellin you all this is to tell you that I'm really grateful I stumble upon your blog a year ago coz then I wouldnt know wat's ADD is all about.

Thanks again, ATM and bless you

Anonymous said...

How hysterical! That fart line is a classic, BTW.

Jan said...

Is there an award for 'classic/timeless' post? If so, this one deserves that award. Great post.

imfunnytoo said...

:) You're so good at explaining...I think it must be one of the things that make you a good Mom.

Kelly said...

Yes, I've had to learn to watch what I say. Hysterical. I love your explanation of disability.

Ahistoricality said...

From the title and set-up I could see it coming, but it's still really funny!

Also, extremely important stuff to think about: definitely my favorite BADD post so far this year!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

My parents made me eat LAVA soap. It didn't make me stop cussing, it made me stop cussing around them. Don't wash your mouth out with LAVA soap. It doesn't work! Hugs!

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Um, I'm just hoping my children don't repeat the stuff I say.
I'm a foul mouthed, snarky, mean little bitch.
So far, they just blink rapidly and get the same shell shocked look their father has.
I don't know what THAT'S all about.

Brenda said...

I think there are many, many people with that syndrome, in fact I believe I married the Asshole syndrome king!

Kim Ayres said...

Superb :)

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
It’s marvelous that you have open lines of communication in your family, even if it creates a bit of confusion at times. It sounds like you managed to clarify things to Little Guy…

How’d the soap taste??

David said...

Great post!

Beth said...

Wonderful post.
But we must never, ever compare ourselves to the likes of Carol Brady! (God forbid.)

Anonymous said...

Captain Destructo is our "parrot", one day at school he was telling me about something he did in class earlier but he said he didn't do well "because I suck at it". Oy vey.

Angela said...

Yes soap does not taste good

A couple of days ago My husband was being a pain and so I said a$$hole.

My son in the back seat says "Daddy a$hole"
that is a great momma moment

Jennifer S said...

That grandma line is definitely a classic!

I love the way you write about all of tell a great story, but you also give good information. That's a gift.

This was really funny!

Anonymous said...


If it's any consolation, I'm sure you dress your children better than Mrs. Brady did.

Anonymous said...

I just love you so much. Thanks for the smile, a very big and much need smile. You are the Erma Bombeck (spelled right ???) for us moms with kids with disabilities and how wonderful and frustrating they can be. Your writing is a gift! I am lucky to be able to "open it."

Mrs. G. said...

I want to live at your house. The conversation is way more entertaining. I believe I have known many people who have a$$holeberger's syndrome.