Saturday, February 17, 2007

Father, Son and Holy Toast

I always felt that I was a pretty visual person, but for some reason, I have a problem with picture puzzles. Such as this one: Find a man's head.



I've stared at this on and off, and still can't see it. Is it a joke? Is there really a man's head there? I can't find it. Don't be afraid to look closely----nothing is going to jump in your face, scream and scare the bejabbers out of you.

That said, I wonder a lot about people who find the face of Jesus or the Holy Mother on stuff. Like on burritos.

I'm not trying to dis' on anybody's religion, but I have questions.

Why would the son of God or the Virgin Mary appear on a burrito, of all things?

Did the intended burrito-eater pray before the meal, "Dear God, bless this food"?

God (who is said to work in mysterious ways) responds: I'm rewarding you for your faithfulness at mealtimes. Here is an image of my Son. Go sell it on eBay!


And another thing---how does anyone know that the images are those of Jesus or Mary? Considering that nobody had Canon Sure-shots back in the old days, the last physical sightings were a couple of thousand years ago.


Even paintings are artistic renderings. All those famous works of art are based on nothing but the artists' imaginations. They didn't have any more idea of what Mother and Son looked like than you or I do.


Since images are often used in Bible Story books, I thought Jesus and Mary were Caucasians with golden hair who were also somehow holy astronauts when I was a kid.

Recently, some people pruned their tree and thought they found Jesus. They didn't call the fire department to get Him down, they called the media. Now hundreds are flocking to see Jesus-on-a-stick.


I just don't see it. How do they know it's Him?



It's obvious to me that it's Brian Boitano.


A lady who worked in a chocolate factory in France thought she found the Virgin Mary in a chunk of hardened chocolate drippings.


To me it looks like something I found under the couch.


What about the Virgin Mary in the remains of a toasted cheese sandwich?


Guess it wouldn't have fetched as much money on eBay if the owner claimed it was Clara Bow. All the ignoramuses who shell money out for that kind of crap would scratch their heads, ask..."who in the hell is Clara Bow?" and snap their purses shut.




I don't know about you, but I don't think this looks like Jesus on a crunchy fish filet.

It looks like Grizzly Adams.




The person who found Jesus on this door is clearly delusional.


Any fool can see it's an image of Cousin Itt.


I know, I know, I'm probably going straight to hell for this one. But before I go, can anyone please please tell me where the coffee-bean head is?


30 comments:

DutchBitch said...

Maybe it's just because you don't know anyone with a head shaped as a coffee bean... or summin...

Mamma said...

Crap!! I can't see the coffee bean head either!

I loved this post. If you're going to hell...I'll be right there next to you!!!

fatman said...

The mans head is along the bottom edge about 1 third of the way along. It's the size of a coffee bean, like he is drowning in a sea of huge coffee beans. Not a good way to go!

As for people going to see Jesus-on-a-stick, if it is him he must have one hell of a feeling of de ja vu right now.

You'd think he'd be a bit more original this time around wouldn't you?

ally said...

i couldn't see the guy in the coffee bean pic until i tilted my head and ta-da i saw him. am i weird or what? :)

mist1 said...

People come from miles around to see the Virgin in the oil stain in my parking space.

Miss Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Even after being told where to look, I’m still unable to see a head in that pile of coffee beans. Perhaps those of us who can’t detect it haven’t “discovered the light”…do you really care? I don’t.

An acquaintance of mine e-mailed me with one of these “see the Father in the image” hoaxes. I was to stare at a blank sheet of paper for 2 minutes, then look at a blob on the computer screen and the “Son” would appear. I did see a fuzzy, bleary image of a guy with long hair, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was who she was proclaiming it to be (or did it?). I informed her it was a dead ringer for Charles Manson, which in her Book cast me into the hellfire of damnation.

Perhaps it’s more realistic to look at the world around us and believe that some “higher power” created all the grandeur (and squalor) that a lot of us take for granted every day.

I wonder who I just ate in my melba toast this morning. This is a fantastic post; thanks!

Brenda said...

I looked where fatman said, I tilted my head as ally suggested, guess I'm blind as a bad or haven't been Blessed yet today, or something cause I can't see the bean dude either.

Is this like being able to roll your tongue?

This post reminds me of that song that's something about Jesus won't be showing up on TV wearing a rolex. Or maybe I just dreamed that.

Marymurtz said...

People see what they want to see---it always amazes me that people flock to these "holy images" and spend money to travel there, buy these dessicated grilled cheese sandwiches, etc.

But they won't donate money to cancer research, won't donate to a charity for at-risk children, won't volunteer at an AIDS clinic. They pass up the opportunity to do real good in order to spend time and money to see some fuzzy image in tree bark. If you want to see the face of God, it's there in every person you meet, every day.

That being said, Attila, I thought your post was dead-on and hilarious!

100 Words said...

Funnily enough, I see heads everywhere - from patches of damp through shadows to clouds. But even with my sharp eye for a bonce, I'm damned if I can see one in those beans

Oh, The Joys said...

Thank God the answer to where the man was, was in the comments or I was going to be desperate.

Kunoichi said...

I'm not sure if this will work, but the coffee bean head should be here.

Annie Drogynous said...

My father sent me that coffee bean photo awhile ago and if it wasn't for him pointing out the man's head (which consists of an eye and a nose, really), I would have continued to bang my head against the wall and never had another cup of coffee to protest.

As for the toast, I think you're mistaken. I think it's the face of Shirley Temple.

And the fish fillet? That's not Grizzly Adams, that's Charles Manson! C'mon! Anyone could have seen that!!

The coffee bean man is about 4-5 over from the left. Once you see him you'll kick yourself!

Mr. Fabulous said...

It took me about 30 seconds but I found him...

Miss Litzi said...

Hi mr. fabulous,
SHOW OFF!! I'm kidding...Would you mind telling us where to look in the hill of beans? I've tried and tried and can't see squat.

Attila The Mom said...

Thanks for the tip, Fatman!

If anyone still can't find it, scroll above and see the link Kunoichi provided.

Many thanks! I never would have found it!

Krishanna said...

Perhap we cannot find said man's head because we, presumably, have not spent about eight thousand dollars on some sort of overpriced espresso, latte, machiatto or breve heavily laced with flavored syrup and gotten so jacked up on caffeine and sugar that we hallucinate.

Anyone can see that this is a pile of coffee beans from which we can divine the future. Duh.

Beth said...

Only for you, Attila, only for you...
I sat here squinting and peering, gave up, read the comments, found the head where "fatman" said it was and then (bolt of thunder from on high??) found ANOTHER one.
Sometimes it gets lonely here in my own special world...

Miss Litzi said...

Thanks for letting us know where the head is in the pile of beans. This is the kind of thing that can keep me awake at night.

Pendullum said...

I think they all look like Kevin Charnas...

Brenda said...

Ok, I can sleep now.

Ben said...

hilarious!

Much like my recent post about john edward and allison dubois, people hear (or in this instance, see, or eat, I suppose) what they want to believe.

We're all victims to the power of suggestion.

Samantha said...

It took me a while but I found coffee bean head as well! Go me! I think the image on the door looks more like the girl from the Ring :D

Babsbitchin said...

Sooooo funny, I love it!

digi-birder said...

Found the head in about 15 seconds, but I can't do those 'magic eye' things that were all the rage a while back.

Stinkypaw said...

Good one - and I did find the head

tkkerouac said...

excellent post!

Gonzo said...

All I saw in the coffee beans was the urgent need for a fresh cup of coffee (it's 8.30 AM here and mornings are always tough for me).

Do you know about the crying Madonna's? Statues from Mary suddenly start to cry. The effect is even more dramatic when the tears are coloured (blood!). There has been a crying statue in Italy, several years ago, and even in our tiny little country called The Netherlands we had a crying statue (in Volendam)!
After a while it was proven that the "tears" was something like melting glue (that was used to stick the eyes in the statue)... But many people refosed to believe that and kept coming to the statue and say their prayers there...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

MAN! That is like one of those hidden picture games where you are supposed to hold the page right up to your eyes and move it slowly back! I can NEVER do those! I see NO head in the coffee beans! Let me smoke some crack and I will get back to you!

Oh wait, crack is whack....I forgot! HELL to the NO!

Annie Drogynous said...

Holy Crap! There IS another coffee bean head!

fatman said...

Is it a very small man in a normal sized beans or are they huge beans swallowing a normal man?

I can't do those squinty eye dot pictures and get really annoyed so glad I could stave off any bean/head related anger for some people.