Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My First Trifecta! A Richard Cranium Asshat Who Ate Stupid for Breakfast!

So many labels, so little space.

Except between the ears of this week's award winner---store employee Chris Melton. Lots and lots of space there. So much space in fact, that stupid has been breeding like rabbits and have gobbled up whatever thinking brains cells this dingleberry might have ever owned.

A Package (liquor) Store in Atlanta, Georgia, has been busted for selling cups of ice with their booze through their drive-thru window.

State regulations show it's a violation of law for these types of stores to sell anything but bags of ice. The store owner said he didn't know it was a violation and the Georgia Union of Booze Distributors has tried to reinterpret the law to claim that cups of ice sold with a lid through a drive-thru should constitute a "closed container".

Thankfully, the powers that be are stepping up and enforcing the law.

The soundbites from f*ckwitted store employee Chris Melton are one part amusing and two parts frustrating. He insists that it is an
American right for people to buy liquor and a cup of ice to drink on their way home.

Where did he get his civics lessons?

“These cats, they have a hard day at work, they come to the liquor store, buy a cup of ice…most people. I’m not saying all of them. Before they get home, they’re gonna drink and drive,” said Melton.

“It’s the American way.”

“They’re going to do it the American way and have a drink while they’re driving,” said Melton.

Does this Asshat actually manage to find his own heinie in the morning or does he need a map?

19 comments:

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Has Chris Melton been conscientiously checking the ID’s of everyone who purchases drinks at the drive-thru window? It is NOT an American right for people, especially those under the legal drinking age, to buy liquor and a cup of ice to toss back on their way home. The citizens of Atlanta, Georgia would be better served if Chris found a job at McDonald’s flipping burgers and handing out cholesterol-laden Freedom Fries through their window…

Anonymous said...

We have a convienence store here in town that started advertising draft beer and daquires for sale in the drive through. Turns out that they sell them in a cup with a lid and when they put the straw in, they leave the paper wrapper on the top of the straw. My husband is a cop and says that he cites everyone of these goobers with an open container when he catches them.

KL said...

Dang...maybe I need to move to GA to be closer to this store! *COUGH COUGH*

Ermmmmm, I mean.... I would NEVER buy booze with a cup of ice to go!

LOL

mist1 said...

It wasn't even crushed ice. I like my ice crushed.

golfwidow said...

Up here, where we still have Blue Laws, we just laugh and laugh at package stores with drive-throughs anyway.

Beth said...

I love reading these things - they make me feel "normal" and brilliant. On the other hand, mankind's (or womankind's) stupidity can be downright depressing.

(I also love your vocabulary...)

Manda said...

What is wrong with some people? And the saddest thing of all is you could post one of these idiots on here every hour of every day and still not cover all of them.
Thank you for giving them the award they have greatly earned for not using that wasted space between their ears!
Keep up the great work girl!

Brenda said...

He deserves the DumbAss of the Year award too! I bet he can't screw in a light bulb either.

Anonymous said...

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! Some people can justify just about anything. Especially for the almighty dollar. I feel so safe driving on these streets. When I lived in Tennessee, there was a ton of drive up stores, just for beer, so many across from golf courses. You'd have to be careful of the golfers in the golf carts, crossing the high way to get to the drive through!!

Unknown said...

You call him "Asshat." I call him "typical Southerner." I don't mean to offend any Southerners out there, but I heard stuff like that an awful lot in South Carolina.

Maybe they're just loud.

Anonymous said...

Watch it Dad! ;)

Mom, so when Mr. Melton hands someone a cuppa ice and some alcohol and they go out drinking, driving and maiming or killing someone, we can go hunt Mr. Melton down and hurt him in a bad way, right?!

Rootietoot said...

DorkyDad-Whaddya mean "Typical Southerner"?! This is most defnitely not exclusively Southern. Not even once in my entire life have I every bought a cup of ice from a liquor store! Not that I couldn't have if I'd wanted to, but I haven't. We do not have a monopoly on stupidity.

carmachu said...

Doesnt that violate the open container law?

Man thats one dumb person.

Philip. said...

Crazy world over there in the States - LOL

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Oh boy!!!

Anonymous said...

do they really have these?
why doesn't Indiana have these sorts of places? :X

ha ha. Just kidding.
Although, not gonna lie, it would be nice to drink a beer on the way home some days, for real.

Big Pissy said...

Yeah, Dorky Dad....I've got to go along with Rootietoot.

Brenda said...

Ut Uh Dorky Dad, round here they drive up to the liquor store with a beer already open in the cup holder. : ) They only need ice for the ones in the cooler!

Ruth Dynamite said...

"It's the American way!"

Nice.