Sometimes You've Just Got to Say....

What a crazy week it's been! Since we're out of school, the doc has decided to try the Big Kid on some non-stimulant meds for his ADHD---didn't want to destablize him during finals week. While the Adderall had been helping with focus, it could only be used sparingly because it's been inducing manic episodes. The problem with adjusting to these new meds is the possibility of panic attacks. Oh joy.

Big Kid is going to be starting driving lessons again next week, so he needs to be focused all the time.

Last weekend Little Guy had a bit of a cold. Then Big Kid caught it. Of course, true to form, his affliction couldn't just stay a nasty cold. It had to get bigger and badder. He got a hellacious case of bronchitis, which required nebulizer treatments at the doc's office and an inhaler.

So he comes running into the living room yesterday. "GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Full blown panic attack.

What's wrong?

"I think I coughed out a piece of my lung!!"

What? Oh my God! Where is it?

I tried to figure out if we should call 911 or wait 35 minutes for the doctor's office to come back from lunch (isn't it sad how well I know their schedule?).

"I flushed it down the toilet! I didn't want to gross you out!"

Then how in the world are we going to figure out what it is?

"It was reddish brown!"

I looked him over carefully. He certainly seemed to be breathing ok. He definitely didn't have any problem in the hollering department. Blood wasn't spurting out of any orifice. And what was that? A suspicious reddish brown smear on the side of his mouth?

Did you just eat lunch? What did you have?

"Barbeque Chicken."

Oy.

In order to escape this mad, mad world, I was able to get some time on the computer this week. But as the week has progressed, all I can say is WTF?

Is it spring fever? Has the world gone wild?

In THE PAST WEEK ALONE....

Electrical Tools Gone Wild:

One guy stabbed his father to death and then cut off his own head with a chainsaw. Another guy cut off his mother's head with a circular saw, and attempted to cut his own off as well.

He didn't quite get the entire sucker off, but he's just as dead. He didn't win the stuffed penguin, though.

Did a new video game come out that I haven't heard of yet?

For Hubby's Saturday "Honey-Do" List: Put all electrical cutty things under lock and key. Swallow the freaking key.

Personal Responsibility Gone Wild:

In Nova Scotia, the law says Casino staff are supposed to spot betting addicts. I'll bet you five dollars that's not gonna work.

This reporter thinks that we should blame restaurants for obesity, because their portions are too large. Yeah, as if your waiter ties you down and stuffs the blooming onion, nachos deluxe and chicken fried steak dinner down your throat like you're a Thanksgiving turkey.

When you get a parking ticket, pay it or fight it out in court. Don't send the payment attached to a dog turd. Especially if you're too stupid to remember that your name and address are on the citation.

If you get "slain by the spirit" in church, maybe God is trying to tell you something. And no, I don't think He's telling you to sue Him for damages.

PMS Gone Wild:

If your wife blindfolds you and leads you into the basement for a "surprise", don't be a typical guy and think it's a blow-job or new fooseball table. Run like hell.

Skanky Heiresses Gone Wi---no Scratch That. Still Skanky:

Our favorite Bimbo Paris Hilton asked fans on her MySpace page to sign a petition asking Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her and overturn her sentence for her recent misdeeds.

Governor's office laughs---not because all 36 fans signed it---but because of the 1, 345, 987 signatures sent in begging him to extend her stay in the poky.

Some even offered sentencing expansions in creative ways. "Make the bitch eat cheeseburgers three times a day!", "What's 45 days going to do to her bleach-job? Show us the roots!" and "Make her wear the polyester jumpsuit!"

Unfortunately the governor had to reject these ideas because they constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

Teachers Gone----Freaking Insane!!!

Sorry, my friend, Mrs. Mayhem. I'm not trying to give you a complex. I know there are great teachers out there, but this really takes the cake.

In the past seven days, it has been reported:

A married 42-year old teacher sends love notes to a 12-year-old student and calls him at home. “I want you to be with me. I know that we are both with someone else, but that’s going to change one day."

Then she said that God forgives her, so everybody else should too. She's ready to move on with her life.

I want me some of those drugs!

This teacher has reached a plea agreement for having an affair with a 14-year-old student and running off with him to Mexico.

This teacher has been arrested for having sexual relations with a student (although the student is 17).

Another teacher has been charged with sexually assaulting two of his 9th grade students and was even dumb enough to post about his exploits on Facebook. I don't know what horrifies me more---that he was doinking his students or that he got a teaching certificate.

And last but not least, I guess we should be grateful that this teacher didn't get the "Mrs. Robinson Itchy Panty bug". She just hosted booze parties in her home for her students.

WTF is wrong with people?