Opening Some Whup-Ass

I've been away for a few days---caught the boys' cold and got a double whammy with allergies. So between the two I've been duller-than-dishwater BigHead Attila and all I wanted to do was nap in my free time.

I don't know if I'm feeling especially sensitive, but has civility and good manners taken a vacation this week?

Or am I sending out Killer Rabbit Slipper vibes and are all the masochists in my sphere lining up for a good buttkicking?

My ex-father-in-law and I have a somewhat guarded relationship. He's basically driven his own children out of state by being an absolute control freak, bordering on abusive, and was the bane of my existence during my first marriage. Of course, it didn't help that my ex would completely disengage and/or disappear---leaving me to "deal" with his dad's crap instead of standing up to the old man himself.

For example, when we were married, ex-FIL would call and instruct ex to be at his house on Thursday evening after work to mow his lawn (didn't matter if we already had plans or not). Ex would agree (instead of telling him that we already had plans), leave the house on Thursday, but never show up at his dad's. So FIL would call and call, demand that I put him on the phone, insist that he must be there, and it would usually escalate into me telling him to get off his fat ass and mow his own freaking lawn.

Ex would come slinking back with his passive/aggressive tail between his legs hours later (after hanging out with friends) because he didn't "like" confrontations.

Since my sons are now the only family he has in the state, I resolved years ago to have a civil relationship with my ex-FIL, and include him in some of our family activities. He does love them, and they are his grandsons. Plus he's mellowed out a lot over the years. Even though he scares them a bit, he's done his best to be good to the guys.

So I had an early meeting on Monday morning. I came home to a message on my machine. It said that he had things to do in the Big City (about 40 minutes away), and decided to come and take the boys to lunch. He'd be there at noon.

WTF? I'd come home to a similar message last week and had been able to catch him before he left. Explained that Little Guy is still in school (duh!) and Big Guy was ill. And I'd appreciate an actual voice-to-voice conversation before he took it upon himself to "drop by" because I'd sure hate [koff koff] for him to come all this way to an empty house.

I was able to catch him before he left on Monday, and told him that we had appointments in the afternoon and nobody would be here. And I'd appreciate an actual voice-to-voice conversation before he took it upon himself to "drop by" because I'd sure hate [koff koff] for him to come all this way to an empty house.

On Tuesday morning, I was taking a bath, and got out to a message on my machine. Ex-FIL said that he decided not to head up this way on Monday, but was coming now and would be there at noon to take the Big Kid to lunch. I called him back immediately, but I guess he raced out of the house before I could tell him not to bother. Obviously he was trying to get around the "don't drop by without a phone call" agreement we made years earlier.

I talked to the Big Kid. We'd had plans late that morning past lunch time, and I asked him if he'd just like to have lunch with Grandad and we could do our stuff a little later. He agreed. So we rearranged our whole freaking day.

I forgot to add, that ex-FIL is never on time. Ever. So at 12, he wasn't here. At 1 he wasn't here. At 5 minutes to 2, Big Kid and I got in the car to get our stuff done (had just enough time before Little Guy got home from school if we hurried).

So as we're driving up our road, who do we pass? Grandad, who was flashing his lights at us. "I decided to do some shopping!" he announced. If the Big Kid hadn't been sitting next to me, I would have told the inconsiderate fart to go f*ck himself.

If he ever pulls this crap again, I probably will.

The other thing that has been ticking me off is the lack of phone etiquette in some people. I guess if I had been feeling better, I would have handled things differently, but I wasn't and I didn't.

Big Kid has some girl "friends" that call him. Two in particular lately, and both of them are about as bright as sack-fulls of hair. If he didn't know for a fact that they were both 20, I'd guesstimate their ages to be around 12.

I was taking a restorative nap the other day---which is about all I'm capable of when I'm full of allergy meds. I had the phone next to me, because the Big Kid was out and might possibly need a ride home.

About 15 minutes into it, the phone rang. I looked at caller ID and it was Girl #1. I decided to let the machine pick it up, and drifted back to sleep.

10 minutes later the phone rang again. I looked at the caller ID and it was Girl #1 again. Oh geez. I ignored it.

Until it rang again in another 10 minutes. I answered it.

"Is Big Kid there?" she asked.

He's just as gone as he was when you called 10 minutes ago, and the 10 minutes before that. Would you please just leave a message on the machine and he'll get back to you?

She whimpered.

No kidding! She made a WHIMPERING sound.

"But I don't LIKE to leave messages", she whined.

That was it. I'd had it.

I gave her Attila's Speech #38. The one that says that HER parents might not mind her friends calling every 10 minutes, and Big Kid might not care, but this isn't his house, and it isn't his phone. The phone is here for the convenience of my husband and myself, I am not Big Kid's social secretary, and maybe it would be best if she didn't call our number again until she learned a little courtesy.

I might have thrown in an eff-word or two. I don't actually remember. If so, I blame the allergy meds.

Later that night, Girl #2 called every 10 minutes during dinner. Sheesh. I gave her an abbreviated version of Speech #38, and I must say, at least she didn't whimper.

So what's burning YOU up this week?