Monday, March 20, 2006

A Booger a Day....

This post comes with a warning. If you're easily grossed-out or offended, hit the back button NOW. I mean it.

Let me start off by saying that I didn't begin the day with the intent on writing about boogers.

I know I wrote about schnozzes a couple of weeks ago, but it's not a fetish. I just read a lot of news and sometimes topics seem to well--you know--jump up and bite me on the nose.

I was reading some "Top Ten Lists" yesterday and came across one about "10 Weird Science Facts", which included a factoid about how eating boogers can be good for you.

No way. This has got to be a joke. Eww. Double eww.

At the risk of embarrassing my big kid, who is now in college and has a girlfriend--when he was a little boy, this used to be one of his more disgusting habits.

Once I remarked, "You know, I don't imagine I'd like to eat something that came out of my nose."

He said, "You should try it! It's good!"

So this morning I decided to google Mucophagy (betcha didn't know there was a name for it!) to see if there was more information than just an anecdote on a Top 10 List.

I found this on Ananova:

Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it

Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.

Let's stop right there and put this into a little perspective. This doctor comes from a country that has a village named F*cking.

Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.

Dare I say it?

You could probably say the same about people who aren't afraid to masturbate as well.

He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.

Take it up? Like soccer? The chess club?

Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.

That's what they make those plastic squirty bottles for, Buster!

"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.

Dry remains? On the gross-out scale, this ranks up there with living with a corpse for 2 1/2 years!

"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.

Sounds like you can achieve the same end by licking the floor of a bus station bathroom. And it's just as appealing.

"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."

I guess it would be cheaper than Flintstones vitamins.

He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.

Yeah, as if anyone would like to kiss a person who has booger breath.

He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."

And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbor was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.

I'll be back later.

I need to get some Lysol and scrub the visuals from my brain now.


Meg said...

That's so funny. Next they're gonna be telling us that we should drink our own urine. When I have kids I will definitely encourage them to pick their noses and eat their boogers in public so I can be shamed and humiliated by the glances of the other parents when they hear me say, "Good boy, Johnny! That was a big one! Now down the hatch..."

Attila The Mom said...


Yer sick, Meggie. LOL

Rhonda said...

Just ew.

That was incredibly funny.

But ... ew.

Charlie said...

Boy, is that the pot calling the kettle black: Mom telling Meg she's sick. Harumph.

Mom, why don't you write about disgusting things instead of the mundane and ho-hum?

I used to have boogers for lunch as a kid. Didn't have to worry about loosing my lunch box that way. My Mom used to freak when I "misplaced" a mitten--even the ones she sewed to my arms. I don't even want to THINK what would have happened if I'd lost my lunch bucket.

Enough of this chit-chat. I gotta go cause there's something stuck in my nose . . .

Miss Keeks said...

I don't want to tell you that I've been picking all day, but... well, the air is very dry! But I draw the line at eating them... That's just yucky! I've never been an eater of boogers. In fact, I'd like that on my grave stone, "she never intentionally tasted her own boogers."

Note to Meg: I've heard stories about drinking the urine. Sorry.

Sven said...

But it's so much fun to flick them.

petunia said...

I really enjoy your blog - it's my kind of humor. It's always funny or interesting and something to laugh about over dinner with friends. (probably won't talk about this one over dinner - ew!)
The drinking Urine thing is BIG and is called "Urine therapy" - here's a few weird sites about it....

Attila The Mom said...

Oh God, I've created a monster! LOL

Just kidding.

Thanks for the links and the compliments, Petunia!