The Sally Field Mystique

My husband simply adores Sally Field.

How he kept this a secret from me for so long, I have yet to figure out. But a couple of years ago, he let the cat out of the bag in a very weird way.

When ads started appearing for the first season of "24", starring Keifer Sutherland, I thought it might be an interesting change from the influx of stoopid reality shows. We were watching TV one night when an ad aired.

"Oooh. That looks interesting," I said. "We should check that one out."

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't like Keifer Sutherland. He was mean to Sally Field."

WTF? "Like recently? What did he do? Was it on the news?"

"No---in that movie. You know, the one where he killed her daughter (An Eye For An Eye)."

"You have GOT to be kidding me!"

"How can anyone be mean to the Flying Nun?"

So, we've never seen 24, although by many accounts, it's a fabulous show. Maybe one day, when he's on a business trip, I'll rent it on DVD and see what I've been missing.

We finally got around to watching Chocolat one Friday (it's movie night, because there really isn't anything worthwhile on, unless you're a guy who tunes into see Jennifer Love Hewitt's hooters in their new hit TV show). Halfway through the movie, my husband sat up straight.

"I know who that is! That SOB (Alfred Molina) was mean to Sally Field!"

Yeah. About 15 years ago in Not Without My Daughter.

Every Thursday, when we watch ER, he prays that a helicopter will fall on the character Abby. You guessed it. Sally Field guest-starred as her mother in about four episodes, and Abby was mean to The Flying Nun. Sheesh.

I guess I should be grateful that his adoration wasn't fixed on someone like Kevin Bacon, for example. Mr. Bacon has probably worked with almost every actor under the sun (hence the game called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon), and a good many of them have undoubtedly been mean to him on film.

I can see it now...

"Let's go see Last Holiday!"

"Who's in it?"

"Queen Latifah."

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"She was mean to Kevin Bacon."

WTF? "When? What did she do? Was it on the news?"

"In that movie--where he played that obnoxious poofty hairdresser."

"You have GOT to be kidding me! He was the BAD guy. She was supposed to be mean to him!"

"I don't care. How could anyone be mean to Kevin Bacon?"

One of these days, I'm going to rent Legally Blonde 2, where The Flying Nun plays a particularly heinous beyotch. I mean c'mon, how can anybody be mean to that adorable little Reese Witherspoon?

I'm just afraid hubby's head will explode. Kaboom!