Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Best Laid Plans...

One of my constant New Year's Resolutions is to simplify my life. Make everyone clean out their closets so we can discard or donate things that don't fit. Clean out the basement. Go through the cupboards. Clean out the junk drawer. I am, by nature (or is it nurture?), a pack-rat, so it is always a Herculean task.

Every year I plan to go through my computer "Favorites Folder" and delete all of the superfluous websites.

I never seem to get that one completed.

So as a result, I have about 6 years worth of crap stored up in no particular order.

Today I'm going to be ruthless. But I thought I'd share a couple of the good, the bad, and the ugly while I'm at it. So you can feel the pain too.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Ever wonder if the waitstaff at your favorite restaurant is doing nasty things to your food before serving it? The folks at The Stained Apron share tips on how NOT to get a booger in your chowder.

Kind of makes you want to stay home. Forever.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
-- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Well, you can't actually talk to Mandy Patinkin, but if you want a live phoned-in birthday greeting from various--um-- celebs like Arnold Horshack or Richard Hatch (the original Battlestar Gallactica guy, not the butt-nekkid Survivor guy), Hollywood Is Calling can set it up for a mere $19.95. Other celebs include the boxer Larry Holmes and a bunch of wrestlers I've never heard of. Oh and Cindy Margolis too.

Whatever Happened To...

Ever wonder what happened to your favorite TV show? One day it was here, the next it was gone with no explanations, farewells or apologies? Television Without Pity isn't always completely up-to-date, but contains a lot of funny information and episode recaps sent in by viewers. Warning: Lots of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the episodes in question, don't peek!

Unsaved Unwelcome

If you have a few hours, take a visit to Landover Baptist Church, where "The Worthwhile Worship". Whether it tickles your funny bone or infuriates you, you have to admit that Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian ("So close to Jesus He's seen me without makeup. Once.") has a wicked, witty way with words.

Well, that's all the cleaning out I'm going to do today. Off to cheer for our athletes in the Olympic Winter Games. Have a great weekend!


phlegmfatale said...

I LOVE it: "how NOT to get a booger in your chowder". My mother-in-law slammed her plate down on the table in a busy restaurant because she didn't think the staff waited on her quickly enough. I wasn't with her, or I would have left the table. No telling how many bonus ingredients that heifer has gotten in a lifetime. She's a total harpy.

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