Betcha Can't Eat Just One!

There's got to be a Michael Jackson joke in here somewhere, but for the life of me, I can't think of one.

Is February "National Nose-Biters" month?

Is there a creepy fad diet I haven't heard of yet, like Atkins For Cannibals?

In the last couple of weeks, there have been no less than three separate articles in the news about nose-biters.

A Connecticut woman was convicted and faces up to 28 years in prison because of an altercation with her neighbor. She claimed she was "defending" herself when she stabbed the neighbor in the back of the head with her keys, pulled out chunks of hair and bit off part of her nose.

Kind of makes you wonder what they were fighting about. Stolen cable?

A woman in Minnesota was arrested a few days ago in another nose-biting incident. Police had to get a search warrant to enter the home where the fight took place to recover the piece, and found it in the kitchen. Luckily, they were able to re-attach it to the victim.

Neighbors were stunned. "I don't know how they did that ... they must have been drunk."

Ya think?

And finally the California guy who was visiting a family in Oklahoma with his girlfriend. As the family was sitting down to dinner, the girlfriend rushed in with a napkin on her nose, claiming that Greg Hill had bitten her. They summoned emergency services. When the medic realized that the nose was completely gone, he notified police.

"We looked around and tried to find a nose but couldn't find it," Cpl. Larry Edwards, a police spokesman, said. "I think he swallowed it."

Hill was booked into the Tulsa Jail on complaints of aggravated assault and battery, resisting arrest and (gak!) destroying evidence.

So what's suddenly sparking off these multiple cases of biting rage? Phases of the moon? Something in the water? Mind rays from Pluto?

Who nose?