Monday, February 13, 2006

I'm With Cupid

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm in love with the perfect man. Well, not completely perfect, because he has really scary-looking toes. And instead of retrieving the pillows he knocks onto the floor in his sleep, he has a bad habit of yanking mine out from under my head.

Other than that, to me he's perfect. He's funny, he's cuddly, he's loving and he's kind. He's dependable, and smart, and decent. Everything you'd want in a car or a dog but imminently better when you find it all wrapped up in a hunky man-suit.

But most importantly of all, he puts up with me. And he loves me.

For the last couple of weeks I've been wracking my brain to find him the perfect Valentine's Day gift. I've read some horror stories (like the guy who bought his wife an outboard motor for HIS boat). I'd like to find something that says that I'm thinking of HIM, the love of my life.

Meeting him at the door with a martini in one hand and his slippers in the other--wearing nothing but Saran Wrap and a big pink bow, ala The Total Woman--isn't practical. Plus, it would probably scare the kids. A lot.

His interests? Football. Golf. Football. His car. Football. In that order.

Football season is over, so I've been looking for something to tickle his fancy until golf season starts, which won't be for a few months up in our neck of the mountains.

Archie McPhee seems to be a vendor of the unique and unusual. Maybe I'll get hubby some beef or corndog car air fresheners. Now EVERY day can smell like a tailgate party! Then again, every dog in the neighborhood might start running after the car as if it was in heat.

Those wacky guys at Golf South
are offering the "Poop and Putt". You can perfect your putt while on your butt. *Sound effects not included.

So many ideas, so little time. Maybe I'll just get him a whomping big box of chocolates and offer to spank him with the BIG hairbrush.

It's the thought that counts, right?

Happy Valentine's Day, my Love!


Anonymous said...

Awww... That's sweet!! We don't really do V-Day at our place, but I could offer to get rid of the corpse in the trunk.

(I hope you got him the Putt & Poop.)


Tom Warner, Almost Hip Guy said...

Atilla the Mom, your blog rocks! I love the layout/design and the subjects covered are always interesting.

Gotta tell my friend Chris the Plumber about the Putt & Pooper!

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