Friday, March 13, 2009

Happier Than a Pig in Sh*t

This has been quite a week in our house! Lots and lots to smile about!

First of all, the Gilbert Unified School District Board met and it looks like Kevyn Barton will probably get to walk in the graduation ceremony with his classmates. My most heartfelt thanks to all of you who read my Asshat post and sent an email to the district in support of Kevyn. I'd like to think that it helped. You guys are the best!

Next on the list----very early this morning I went in to have a few more tests done on my heart to see if I need to have an electrical device implanted in my chest. I've really been stressing on this, and hardly slept at all last night.

Tried to keep a cheery attitude during the echo, but kind of dozed off for most of it. The machine puts off a lot of heat, and it was almost like being in a cacoon. Then the tech said, "Bear down really hard like you have a constipated bowel movement."

Huh? Are you serious?

"We need to see how your heart functions when you press down hard."

You mean like Elvis (who died on the pooper)?

He looked at me blankly. Ok, he was probably 10 years younger than I, and I was only about 7 or 8 when Elvis went to the Grand Ol' Opry in the sky. Tried to think of something relevant.

You mean like that mobster who burst a blood vessel on the crapper in The Sopranos?

His face cleared. "Yes. Just like that!"

Thank God I didn't rip ass. With my current diet that includes a boatload of fiber, he would have been REALLY sorry. My butt smells like a bunch of peanuts gone wild.

A couple of hours later I was completely flabbergasted when my cardiologist came into my room and said, "Congrats! All of your heart functions have regained normal levels!"


My resting heart rate is at 70 (down from 136), my blood pressure is normal, the echo showed good flow and no more electrical issues, and I have no blockages. The doc thinks that I must have had a virus that attacked my heart considering that the left side was only functioning at 30% a few months ago (but admits that a "virus" is sort of a catchphrase for "we don't know wtf went wrong for sure"). I'm no longer considered to be in heart failure.

If I hadn't been wearing that shorty little wrap-in-front-barely-covering-your-hooters thingy, I prolly would have jumped up and smothered the little guy in a huge hug (he stands about boob-high to my Amazonian self and I definitely could have poked his eye out) . Visions of Kim Cattrail in Porky's restrained me.

Instead I broke down wept uncontrollably. When my guys picked me up later at the hospital, Hubby cried a little as well.

Little Guy said, "Are you guys happy crying or sad crying? Can I cry with you too? Should I be happy or sad?"

I'll most likely need to continue the meds for the rest of my life. The hypoxia/oxygen deprivation/altitude thing is a completely separate issue and so I'll have to continue with the oxygen at night indefinitely and manage that with my family doc.

Now I'm celebrating with a bottle of scotch, a pack of cigs and a gram of cocaine. And bacon. I'm eating a pound of bacon. With cheese and butter on top. Just kidding. LOL

Thank you all so much for your loving emails and supportive comments during the last 5 months. We've been very very frightened about this whole crisis, and I can't tell you how much sharing this with you and your kind responses have helped me get through it. I mean it.

Last and certainly not least, we had our last conference about THD late this afternoon. He's all ours and will be arriving in a week. Bless his heart, he's already gotten a job down here. He applied online, had a phone interview, and they asked him when can he start? Hubby picked up the application for the details and faxed it, and they want him to start as soon as he's ready.

It's just a fast food place, but we're so impressed and delighted with his initiative.

THD has been so afraid that something will happen to mess this placement up, so I kind of caught his paranoia and didn't want to post too much for fear that it might jinx it (and you never know who is monitoring the blogosphere ala Dooce).

But now the date is set and he'll be joining us very shortly. Everything is in place---school, doc, therapist and probation (yes he's still on probation for running away). He's going to get here in the middle of our spring break so he'll get a chance to get acclimated and decide what color he wants his room painted and pick out his comforter and room accessories.

I know that's all very basic, and we need to address and be on top of all of his other issues.

But just for tonight we're going to bask in the anticipation of THD joining our family and feeling very blessed for so very many reasons.

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Like I said before, you're the best!



Heather said...

This post totally made my day! No, more than that - at last week. Maybe more!

I teared-up, too. Definitely happy crying.

Awesome news, all around. And very much deserved by you all.

Mel said...

Oh, that's all just awesome news. AWESOME.
(((You guys)))

Frau said...

I love happy endings....great news all around! Things can only continue the be better. Enjoy your weekend!

thepianoplayersdaughter said...

so funny. loved your way of portraying life

Valerie Marie said...

I have tears in my eyes (= because I'm happy!!!): only goog news! Your post made my day!

"My butt smells like a bunch of peanuts gone wild." LOVE YOU!!!!!

Beth said...

Wonderful news!
Big smile on my face – for you and for every member of your family.
That heart of yours? It possesses such a huge capacity to love and embrace life. You are an amazing woman.

Heather said...


<---does happy dance!


I can't wait to hear all about THD and his arrival!

Charlie said...

Way to go, Mom! And bless the Little Guy's heart.

Brenda said...

I'm so happy that all the news is good news for you ATM! I hope you're seeing signs of Spring up there in your mountains.

She said...

Doing the HAPPY DANCE all the way over here in LA! Good news all around!

Koolio said...

I am SO happy for you, Mom!!! It appears that Friday the 13th is a very lucky day for you! (((HUGS)))

Traceytreasure said...

I'm so happy about Kevyn!! And, then I read about how you cried and your hubby cried and your little guy.....I was crying happy tears too! I've always known that you have an awesome heart!! Congrats!! I hope by visiting you, some of your good luck will rub off on me....
Very, very happy for you and yours!!

Big hugs!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Happy days are here again.

Star said...

Good news on so many fronts.!

Ellen said...

Hi. Well, maybe you didn't have the scotch but you sure deserve a celebration. What a relief—and so wonderful it happened before your new bundle of joy, THD, arrives! He, by the way, sounds like he's trying so hard--impressive that he got himself a job remotely.

Enjoy basking in the happiness!

Stinkypaw said...

So happy for you that you're back to health, that is great news!

It's boating well for THD, that's great, wishing you all the best!

Cheryl said...

Oh this is such wonderful news. I'm so happy, if you were here, I'd give you the biggest hug. You deserve a happy ending with this health scare.

Hope all goes wll with the transition. You are one amazing woman.


Chris H said...

What fantastic news! I am so happy for you... about your health and about getting a new baby boy! OK he's not a baby... but still... a new son! Awesome... he is a very lucky boy.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Hallelujah! that's terrific news!!! Yay for you--persevering and getting all your organs back in working order, helping THD and for keeping your family at an even keel. You? RAWK!

H~ said...

You and your family are such amazing people and I find I'm always inspired in some way by reading your blog.

I'm so glad you've had all this good news. You more than deserve it and O hope it keeps coming your way. :-)

karatemom said...

great news ..congrats..

it's truly amazing what doing a few dietary and exercise changes can make to better heart health as well.

I was diagnosed last year with some issues of my own along with my on going battle of high blood pressure stage 1 hypertension.

And today after 5 weeks of taking control of my own healthy eating ( as well as still taking my meds) I had a good report on my blood pressure it has lowered significantly..and although its not fantabulous yet it is on its way .. then I told doc what I have been doing differently and she was very encouraging.

So , I shall continue along this package labels and all that jazz..and do it for me ..cause damn it im worth it.!!!

good for you too.keep taking care of you !!!

p.s.I dont blog much any more I am more of a facebook addict now. but i do still creep and perv blogs from days ago.

all the best.

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Kim said...

That is awesome Atilla! If anyone deserves some good news ...and a bottle of scotch, its you!

*big hugs*

Cloudy said...


Joe said...

Congrats on the good news.

Tricia said...

Whey hey - now that's what I call a fantastic good news day and great blog post.

Congratulations on all fronts ATM

carmachu said...

I'd make some smartass remark about you and having a heart, but I just cant.

Congrats! Thast awesome news....

sarala said...

Wow. That is amazing. Glad you are better!
I'm going to have to read up to figure out who is coming to live with you.