Happier Than a Pig in Sh*t

This has been quite a week in our house! Lots and lots to smile about!

First of all, the Gilbert Unified School District Board met and it looks like Kevyn Barton will probably get to walk in the graduation ceremony with his classmates. My most heartfelt thanks to all of you who read my Asshat post and sent an email to the district in support of Kevyn. I'd like to think that it helped. You guys are the best!

Next on the list----very early this morning I went in to have a few more tests done on my heart to see if I need to have an electrical device implanted in my chest. I've really been stressing on this, and hardly slept at all last night.

Tried to keep a cheery attitude during the echo, but kind of dozed off for most of it. The machine puts off a lot of heat, and it was almost like being in a cacoon. Then the tech said, "Bear down really hard like you have a constipated bowel movement."

Huh? Are you serious?

"We need to see how your heart functions when you press down hard."

You mean like Elvis (who died on the pooper)?

He looked at me blankly. Ok, he was probably 10 years younger than I, and I was only about 7 or 8 when Elvis went to the Grand Ol' Opry in the sky. Tried to think of something relevant.

You mean like that mobster who burst a blood vessel on the crapper in The Sopranos?

His face cleared. "Yes. Just like that!"

Thank God I didn't rip ass. With my current diet that includes a boatload of fiber, he would have been REALLY sorry. My butt smells like a bunch of peanuts gone wild.

A couple of hours later I was completely flabbergasted when my cardiologist came into my room and said, "Congrats! All of your heart functions have regained normal levels!"

Waaaa?

My resting heart rate is at 70 (down from 136), my blood pressure is normal, the echo showed good flow and no more electrical issues, and I have no blockages. The doc thinks that I must have had a virus that attacked my heart considering that the left side was only functioning at 30% a few months ago (but admits that a "virus" is sort of a catchphrase for "we don't know wtf went wrong for sure"). I'm no longer considered to be in heart failure.

If I hadn't been wearing that shorty little wrap-in-front-barely-covering-your-hooters thingy, I prolly would have jumped up and smothered the little guy in a huge hug (he stands about boob-high to my Amazonian self and I definitely could have poked his eye out) . Visions of Kim Cattrail in Porky's restrained me.

Instead I broke down wept uncontrollably. When my guys picked me up later at the hospital, Hubby cried a little as well.

Little Guy said, "Are you guys happy crying or sad crying? Can I cry with you too? Should I be happy or sad?"

I'll most likely need to continue the meds for the rest of my life. The hypoxia/oxygen deprivation/altitude thing is a completely separate issue and so I'll have to continue with the oxygen at night indefinitely and manage that with my family doc.

Now I'm celebrating with a bottle of scotch, a pack of cigs and a gram of cocaine. And bacon. I'm eating a pound of bacon. With cheese and butter on top. Just kidding. LOL

Thank you all so much for your loving emails and supportive comments during the last 5 months. We've been very very frightened about this whole crisis, and I can't tell you how much sharing this with you and your kind responses have helped me get through it. I mean it.

Last and certainly not least, we had our last conference about THD late this afternoon. He's all ours and will be arriving in a week. Bless his heart, he's already gotten a job down here. He applied online, had a phone interview, and they asked him when can he start? Hubby picked up the application for the details and faxed it, and they want him to start as soon as he's ready.

It's just a fast food place, but we're so impressed and delighted with his initiative.

THD has been so afraid that something will happen to mess this placement up, so I kind of caught his paranoia and didn't want to post too much for fear that it might jinx it (and you never know who is monitoring the blogosphere ala Dooce).

But now the date is set and he'll be joining us very shortly. Everything is in place---school, doc, therapist and probation (yes he's still on probation for running away). He's going to get here in the middle of our spring break so he'll get a chance to get acclimated and decide what color he wants his room painted and pick out his comforter and room accessories.

I know that's all very basic, and we need to address and be on top of all of his other issues.

But just for tonight we're going to bask in the anticipation of THD joining our family and feeling very blessed for so very many reasons.

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Like I said before, you're the best!

ATM