Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber

Not much going on in the Attila house this week---Little Guy's hands are healing up, and he's getting a kick out of having Mom tie his shoes just like when he was a toddler. If I'm not available, he's been pulling on a pair of Hubby's ancient Moon Boots (circa 1984) and tramping around in the yard. Looks pretty hysterical with his shorts!

We've gone 4 days without Big Kid (or his other dad) calling and begging us to let him come home early (knock on wood), so I'm operating under the assumption that no news is good news. I'd like to blog about all that, but I'm feeling kind of on the fence with that one, so I'm reserving the right to blog about it later. Be more than happy to fill anyone in if they want to email me.

Soooooo, I've been feeling pretty lazy and unmotivated to do much but read. I know my last post was about stupid in the news, but I seem to be having a lot of stupid in my life lately (like I said, email me), and I've been noticing it everywhere. Humor me, please!

Was this last week a slow news week or what?

Nicole
Richie Will Only Boink Circumcised Men.

Oookay. And I should care...why?

Who exactly is Nicole Richie when she isn't riding on that other skanky celebutante's thongstrings? Is she trying to top her former BGF's media coup---jail with the little people and all---with this confession?

Her parents must be so proud.

Hubby's comment (we've been spending so much quality time together that I actually ran this by him), "At least she has one standard."

Snerk.

For months I've been reading about Posh and Becks' big plan to take the U.S. by
storm.

"Who are Posh and Becks?" you might ask. Good question.

Victoria "Posh" Beckham used to be part of that wildly-popular-especially-amongst-the-tweens girl group called the Spice Girls. Some years ago, she married the UK's premier footballer (soccer to us philistines) named David Beckham.

If the Brit newspapers are to be believed, they're more newsworthy than Camilla and her newest saddle blanket.

Bend it Like Beckham is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. USian Bourgeoisie that I am, it was the first time I've ever even heard of "Becks". Unfortunately, in the movie, all you see of him is his name in the title, a few seconds of a game on the telly, some shadow in an airport entourage, and a yummy-looking poster on the protagonist's wall.

Now that they've hit the states, Posh is gearing up for a reunion with the Spice Girls, but in my opinion, she might think about changing her name to "Old Spice". She's so dried out and emaciated that it looks like she's got at least 10 years on the rest of them.

Yes, yes, I know. Meow.

But I must admit that Becks is hot. He's hot with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. With chocolately sprinkles.


Fortunately for the rest of you guys, God is good and sometimes fair when He hands out gifts. Becks might be good to look at, but this boy is about as articulate as a sack of hair.

In their first big "Stormin' the States" photo and article spread in the magazine W, he talks about his relationship with Posh.

"When she tells me something doesn't look good, I believe her. We have a connection that way."

Huh?

Honey, when I tell my dog to get the hell off the couch, she believes me. We have a connection that way.

When I tell the UPS guy he delivered the wrong package to my house, he takes it away with him. We have a connection that way.

When I've had a difficult day, my Hubby knows exactly how to help. He might offer a shoulder rub. Or take the guys out for a burger so I can have a couple of hours to breathe.


Sometimes he sweeps me off my feet with flowers, or makes dinner for the horde. Or wakes up in the middle of the night to tell me he loves me.

Now he's a guy who's connected.

At this point, the "storm" is leaving me pretty underwhelmed so far.

25 comments:

Beth said...

Confession - I'm kind of up-to-date on this celeb news, too.
Doesn't it slay you that we actually read about it?
Escapism, just plain fun? Ah, who cares? It's kind of fun.

Manda said...

Ha, ha, this is toooo funny Atm.
I really loved "old spice". She really is kind of dried up looking, isn't she. I want to tell her to go eat a cheeseburger and drink some water. She looks dehydrated! LOL

MoonNStarMommy said...

I am a new noter... I really enjoyed your blog - I'm going to have to keep your link to read you more while I am feeding thy Tator Tot (my 13 wk old tomorrow)... I was laughing... can't say I don't disagree on any of it! LOL...

Em said...

Okaaaay....more than I needed to know about Nicole! LOL As for Posh and Beck (or is it Bosh and Peck? Whoever...), yeah, they are here now...and the storm felt like more of a sprinkle.

digibirder said...

Hubby was just saying this morning, "why is she called 'Posh'?" as her English leaves a lot to be desired. I said perhaps it's because she was the poshest one out of the Spice Girls. "Ah yes," says hubby. "There was that one from Leeds who was as rough as a bear's arse." (A little expression we have around these parts!)

You're welcome to them, but I suspect they'll still hit the news over here now and again, unfortunately.

PS. I've moved from Blogger, so don't forget to update your link.

golfwidow said...

They all look so ...

... hungry.

I want to buy Nicole Richie a grilled cheese, an order of fries, a Hershey bar, and a clue.

DutchBitch said...

I can't tell you guys over there enough: Get Rid of Posh and Becks! They are utterly stupid...

On the other hand... keep 'm. We don't want them back anywhere in Europe...

Kim Ayres said...

I wonder if only going with circumsized men is a bit like an amputee fetish?

Here in the UK, it's only usually done for religious or health reasons. But I'm under the impression it's almost the norm in the US. Is that right?

Pete said...

can you keep them.... please please pretty please

my son, his choice said...

The myth is that a male with an uncircumcised penis will turn into a dirty old man who will need to have it done later in life.

(At least that's what I was told when my son was born.)

He's not. I don't condone the torture of newborns.

Miss Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Thanks for the update on Little Guy’s hands. Is he experiencing any trouble handling a knife and fork? I broke my thumb years ago and quickly discovered what a hassle doing basic things was when one digit wasn’t functioning; I can’t begin to fathom what Little Guy must be going through right now.

Maybe Big Kid decided the “land of fruit and nuts” wasn’t quite so bad after all…people get used to us after a while or learn to tune us out!

About six months ago I discovered “TMZ.com.” and have become addicted to reading the sleazy items about the “in” crowd. I’m no longer surprised to hear things like Nicole Richie only boinking circumcised men or seeing photos of Ass-paragus Spears or Prez Hilton flashing their crackies to the camera. It’s a copout to read crap like that but perhaps a way to escape all the horrendous news that we’re bombarded with day after day (or so I rationalize to myself).

Your post was a delightful read on a foggy summer afternoon-thanks!

Brenda said...

Ha! I needed these words from the wise. Gave me a smile right off.

Glad little guy is doing better!

Eileen said...

Hi! I laughed my ass off, ok I wish I could really do that,reading your post today. So funny, but so true. I know way too much of this celebrity crap too, don't know why, escape or just like those gossipy websites/tv shows and of course PEOPLE magazine. Love how you put it, so true.
Glad little man's hand is healing. Glad your sticking to your guns and not letting your older son come home until it is time. It is his time with Dad now, and dad needs to see and deal. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me at anytime. I think it is good to go on the no new is good news assumption for now, cause you know it won't last.
Thinking of you. XOXO

Nightmare said...

I don't watch that kind of TV nor do I watch soccer, so I am really behind the times here, but didn't she used to weigh more then my dog? I swear these walking skeletons are making me sick to my stomach. And I don't care who you are running around for 45 minutes....is boring. To do and to watch. If I wanted to watch someone run around and chase a ball for 45 minutes non stop I would go to the park, tape a 10 dollar bill to a ball and roll it in front of the old people feeding the birds.

Now that would be entertainment.

OneEar said...

I am pretty sure the Nicole/Paris/Lindsey trinity is somehow related to Terror's war on us. I just haven't quite pieced it together yet.

Angela said...

You are my celebrity news blog. This is all I know. Well, I know more, but I don't keep up to date. When I need a dose of stupidity I look it up. Thanks for the catch up.
Smile

Tony said...

so funny how you once talked to a bear thinking it was your husband... wonder what the bear was thinking...?

Ann(ie) said...

hahaha...oneear's comment cracks me up. I agree!!

And Nicole Ritchie procreating scares the CRAP out of me. ugh.

carmachu said...

Celebrities are idiots in general....that sorta goes with the fame...

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

I'm with my buddy Carmachu...

Posh never smiles.....
I can't stand her...
did you hear that she wants to "live simply" in her 22 million dollar home...

Slackermommy has all kinds of pics on her blog of the Beck's...
I was shocked and amazed...

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Not at Slacker... but that the couple would pose like that ...

Jod{i} said...

That is such an awful pic...and they think that is pretty? Ugh...

Hey I gave you an award! ;)

Anonymous said...

FYI: Nicole Richie is an adoptee...

(and the Becks are $cientologists)

phlegmfatale said...

Gosh, Posh is stringy and wildly un-sexy, IMHO. Becks, um, it's so incongruous how helium-voiced he is, but he's got wicked style. Very sexy.

Nicole R. is just vile.

Beki said...

Posh isn't fit to polish the Camilla's horse's hooves...

One of my favourite quotes was from a comedian who said of the Beckham's children " Romeo, Brooklyn and Cruz - sounds like a firm of gay lawyers"