Sunday, September 10, 2006

As If I Weren't Embarrassed Enough...









Friday morning, the Little Guy had an early orthodontist appointment. We usually go later in the morning, but since school has started, it's easier to take him directly there and then to school instead of going through the whole check-out process at the attendance office.

I'm suffering from end-of-season allergies and have been waking up in the mornings with concrete-face after taking an antihistamine before bed. It takes a couple of hours standing upright for that crap in my sinuses to loosen up and flow. Needless to say, I feel like my head is 5 feet wide!!

When we got to the ortho's in time for our 7:30 appointment, the place was packed---standing room only.

As soon as a seat opened up far across the room, I told Little Guy to go sit down. I stood on the other side by the windows and gazed up into the mountains. People came in, people went out...I was amazed at how quietly this was done.

After awhile, one of my most favorite songs ever came on the radio from behind the receptionist's desk. "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. I stood there tapping my foot to the tune, and looked out on a glorious landscape.

It was shaping up to be a beautiful morning.

I turned around. And clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from guffawing out loud.

There was an entire room of heads bobbing up and down in perfect time to the music!

I tried to hold it in.

I did, I promise! Tears were spurting out of my eyes from the effort.

Little Guy, ever-so-observant, called to me from across the room. Are you ok, Mom? Are you crying?

20 Bobble Heads swiveled my way.


Yes, they were still bobbing.

I didn't break out into hysterical laughter.

Oh no. That would have been merciful under the circumstances.

I did something worse.

I SNEEZED.

A humongous geyser of snot flew out of my nose, through my fingers and all over the backs of my hands. I ran out of the office like my ass was on fire to find the ladies room.

I could hear Little Guy calling after me...Mom? Did you get snot all over you? Mom?

Kids, gotta love 'em.

Or sell them to a traveling circus...

21 comments:

quinn said...

omg hahaha and ewww ick all at once..I would have liked to hear how the rest of that conversation went..lol..

My oldest son is now doing the ortho appointments as well for the braces.."or should I call them new car payments for his orthodontist".

OH well, we do love our kids.

Stinkypaw said...

Don't worry about it "you will survive"! lol

Me said...

lol hyuck...sotp pls.
And OMG i love 'i will survive' too. so love it.
And you are so lucky to have the view of the moutains.

Karen said...

wow- don't you wish you'd have just laughed?? that's why you don't go to 7:30 appts- so does the rest of the world...

Ruth Dynamite said...

I'm with Stinkypaw...you will survive!

That son of yours is just keepin' it real. Gotta love it!

Miss Keeks said...

Ha! I feel your allergies.

Deb said...

that is too fucking funny!

KL said...

I can picture that whole scene just TOO well!! Especially Little Guy! Does this mean you are going to have to get up at 2am to be ready for his morning appts?

Heather said...

OMG. LMAO! I love it.
ha ha ha.

Samantha said...

Gaynor's Village Of The Damned . . .
Excellent story!!

Kim Ayres said...

I can't hear that song these days without thinking of this video

digi-birder said...

I come over to your blog often for my therapy, but have never commented before. Your posts have been brightening my days for some time now. That was so funny.

I also have fond memories of 'I Will Survive', but with this video

Tracie said...

I laughed out loud at that one. My husband is giving me a funny look right now. But at least I didn't sneeze all over myself......just kidding, we all know that has happened to all of us at some point. Gotta love the way kids help us out in those situations.

carmachu said...

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA

You know you couldnt write scenes like this in movies....

Ma Titwonky said...

OMG! You also do snot rockets??? Who knew! I hadda link to this one. Outstanding! :)

Rootietoot said...

I sneezed and farted all at once in the bookstore. With lots of people. I just turned around and walked out.

As for the colorful braces...yeah colored bands! The first time #1 got them, he chose his favorite color, green, and looked for 6 weeks as if he'd eaten a head of broccoli.

Jod{i} said...

Lmao...
Need a tissue? Kids jus gotta love em!

Bean said...

Ok this really made me laugh. Something similar happened to me on a train once.. no tissue, no bathroom anywhere.. I thought I was going to die of embarassment. I don't have children of my own but there were a couple around at the time giving me curious looks. I was afraid!

shirley said...

Hee! You little snot!

jan said...

Hilarious. Ma Titwonky sent me over. She was right. I love your name.

Annie Drogynous said...

OMG, how did I miss this post?!

I can picture everyone's heads bobbing up and down in time to the music. It sounds like a scene out of a TV show, lol.

My daughter has that kind of sneeze, too. Everytime I hear a "juicy" sneeze, she's holding her hand over her nose and I hand her a tissue without flinching.