Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Doods

Got my rantypants on. LOL I know I do it from time to time, so wallow in it with me, or run far far away.

I'm ranting about Doods. The Doods in my house. Yes, other than the dogs, I am the onliest female in my home, and I don't always understand what in the heck they are thinking.

So somebody help me out.

Pillsbury refrigerated Molten Lava Brownies (2 to a box) were on sale and I had coupons so I bought 4 boxes. All the same. They were stacked neatly on the right side on the top shelf of the fridge.

I wake up in the morning and there are two boxes open with a brownie taken out of each.

What were you thinking? That if you took the second brownie, you'd have to actually walk 3 steps to the garbage can and throw out the box? That the person who takes the first brownie gets a bigger brownie and the other is like, inferior?

WTF is up with that? Just wondering.
______________________

Out of all the Doods in my home, there is ONE who leaves the toilet seat up (in my opinion). He has his own bathroom, which is off of our bedroom, and his seat is always up. I don't care...if I have to run to the john in the middle of the night, I already KNOW to check the seat position in the dark. It's his space, I don't complain.

But I frequently go to bed early to read, get up from time to time, and go to MY bathroom and find the seat up.

I accuse the perp and tell him to stay out of MY bathroom, and he blames the other males in our house. I happen to know that they are sitting pee'ers (at least in MY bathroom), but he continues to accuse them.

So I write a really nasty note and tape it to the backside of the seat. About not being such a pig and putting the $#@%$$ seat down.

Guess who gets all offended by it? Not the sitting pee'ers. They've never seen it, because they don't lift the seat up.

WTF is up with all that? Just Wondering.
______________________________________________


I don't wear your baseball caps, don't wear your sunglasses, don't use your IPOD cords, can't remember the last time I used your wallets or car keys.

Yet in the morning when you can't find them, a couple of you run around screaming and cussing that somebody "MUST" have moved your shit, because you ALWAYS leave it "insert location".

When I suggest you check the pants/coat/car floor that you used the night before and you find your lost shit, you act like somebody has played a malicious joke on you just to mess up your day.

WTF is up with that? Just wondering.

________________________________________________

When I insist it's your turn to do the dishes, and that as good as our dishwasher is, you have to actually soak and scrub some of the dried crap off, you complain about the grossness of the knives and spoons that have been dipped in peanut butter and not immediately washed off. Yes, it turns white and gluey. Yes, it's gross. And yes, you all do it, and expect somebody else to deal with it after you toss it in the sink.

You laugh your heads off when a person describes a fart so enormously wet and windy that it left a couple of corn kernels in his shorts (gah!), but go weak at the knees when you have to touch a spoon that had somebody else's mouth on it.

WTF is up with that? Just wondering.

15 comments:

karatemom said...

Ha from another "only" female in a house of males.....
the brownie incident isn't so much about having to toss out the box..it is that at a glance it shall look like all are there and no one will be the wiser that anyone has been into it.

Oh and I have one better. for me its the pizza boxes or the pizza pops boxes in the downstairs freezer..why do they take the last out of the box and leave the empty box in the freezer so it appears there are some still in there.
They have to bring the contents that were in the box upstairs anyway in order to put them in microwave to cook. So why not bring up the entire box take out contents leave box up here so we know its garbage???

toilet seat..yeah I hear you..it is always up at my house for the most part but my oldest moved out last year and moved in with a female roommate ( not his gf) and she has trained him well...he has been home a few times for a dinner or a visit and used the bathroom..after going in after his usage not only is the seat down but so is the lid !!!
That never happens in my home by anyone else in here !! ha.

The lost items !! OMG .I know exactly the kind of ranting and raving and accusing that you are talking about my 17 year old is famous for this !! and gets totally out of control over these things and then after they are found in one of his pockets of a shirt tossed in a heap on the floor ..or under his bed etc. there is never an appology or anything ugh !! drives me round the bend.

The dishes is funny too..we have a dishwasher so it drives me nuts that even then the scraping or rinsing of a dish kills them..however, there is hope as I said oldest son out on his own..NO DISHWASHER...and they tend to let things pile up and do in one fell swoop..
he told me he usually has to chew gum or something so he doesn't gag when doing them hahaha..after a dinner at our home and cleaning up the dishes he said OMG I sure do miss having a dishwasher hahaha..

p.s. oldest son is moving home next month after a year away..too expensive to pay rent and go to school..he has a whole new perspective on life ..!! I Love it!!

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

I'm the only male in this house which I share with two females. One wife and one cat.

Toilet seat is always down, except in the guest bathroom, next to my office, which is only used by the cat and me. So usually the lid is down there as well.

I wash the dishes, and the wife is an Olympic level kitchen messer. On the other hand I eat very well http://menu.vldyson.com . So bitching is limited.

I also do most of the floors without rugs, my wife does the rugs.

We don't tend to lose things like car-keys. Two sets to each car hang on a kitchen cabinet, sometimes we forget to put them back, but not often.

Willoughby said...

The toilet seat being up would make me crazy! I don't even like the lid open!

Big Daddy Autism said...

In the dood(s) defense, I cannot count how many times my wife has, in the middle of the night, moved my wallet and keys from where I always leave them and put them in the pocket of the pants I was wearing the previous day. Btw, in light of the flatulence isses described in your post, you should probably stop serving your doods corn. ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Your house sounds like my house....If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the words "it's not my dish" I could retire to the South of France...........Seriously, DOOD!

LOL

Chris H said...

OMG I can SOOOO relate to this! Having raised 3 boys already and on to the last one, and having a hubby around.....

My big boys used to grow fungus on top of left over coke in a glass in their rooms... and I don't mean one glass either! Shit the stories I could tell about friggin boys!

Ever found used condoms in the boys bathroom?
In their shower box?
Under their bed?
Out the window, in the garden?

Teenage boys = IKKKKKK.

Rootietoot said...

I raise a glass of cheap white wine in your honor. Next time I'm in Colorado we're going someplace dainty with food that doesn't come out of boxes or smell like buffalo wings. My treat. I love doods, really I do, but they are nasty.
Have you ever noticed that they can pee and hit a bug on the side of a tree from 6 feet away, but can't hit a hole big enough to park a buick in when they're standing right over it?

Jennifer Leeland said...

I feel your pain.
What I want to know is why why why will they step on garbage,dirty clothes and blankets that have fallen to the floor AND DON'T PICK IT UP!!!?????
And WTF is the pissing contest about who feels worse? If we're both sick, we both feel bad. Why do they insist they have it worse.
Wimps.
*grumbles*

From Tracie said...

I love love love that you wrote a nasty note and put it under the seat like that! That is classic!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ha! "...I accuse the perp..."
This cracked me up because it's soooooo true!
Hang in there. jj

Katie :o) said...

Love the nasty note on the underside of the seat that only the person who doesn't use your toilet noticed! Classic!

frigginloon said...

Oh for the love of god what would Ma Ingalls do?

The amount of times I have found an EMPTY milk carton in the friggin fridge ....sheez!!!!

KWombles said...

:-) Did you make them read this post? I'm still chuckling. I know, what with my two doods, that it isn't funny as you're dealing with it. It's frustrating as hell. But, hee, I think you've gotten pretty good payback with this: women from all over laughing, commiserating, and in general agreeing that we all deal with insensitive doods whom we often suspect have some form of brain damage.

KWombles said...

Oh, meant to say, I think it's showing linkbacks at the bottom for Countering because I shared this on my google reader, which I have as a sidebar. I think, anyways. :-)

gayle said...

My husband only left the seat up once when we first got married...of course I fell in and screemed and it never happened again.

My grandson use to never leave it up (hasn't been potty trained that long only 4) but lately he's been leaving the seat up. Which leads me to believe my daughter is falling down on her job to train him right:)