Monday, June 23, 2008

Cutting the Apron Strings

We had a meeting with Big Kid's new neuropsych the other day. Although our family doc has been prescribing (last neuro was a diagnostician and couldn't prescribe meds), he wanted to have an outside consultation, because Big Kid isn't where he needs to be.

Some of it is his illness. Some of it is because he refuses to believe that we don't intend to allow him to squat in our home for the rest of his life and provide for his every need.

A lot of it is because he is resistant to being an active participant in his own life. Everything is done "to" him (he has no responsibility for whatever happens---like when he trips over the shoes he threw on the floor, it's the shoes' fault for getting in his way) or must be done "for" him (2 years of private rehabilitative driving lessons, and he's no closer to getting his license than he was then).

He's got applications out for part-time jobs, but refuses to call to follow-up on them. He got set up with a small thing where he could make pocket money sitting on his butt in front of the computer, but refuses to complete any of the work they ask him to do. Then he's angry because Little Guy has the money to buy CDs and DVDs and it's "unfair" and we're "favoring" him.

It's convenient to turn a blind eye to how Little Guy earns his money---by emptying the dishwasher, feeding the dogs, taking out the trash, pulling weeds, sweeping the deck. There's MORE than enough chores around here to earn a little cash.

grrrr.

Anyhoo, while I was visiting blogs the other night, I went over to catch up with my bud Ruth Dynamite, and she had a link to a sketch from Little Britain that I'd never seen before.

I laughed so hard that I cried. I showed it to Hubby and HE laughed so hard that he cried.

I showed it to Big Kid, and he said...."eww. That's gross. I don't get it."

He had a night to mull it over, and the next morning he said, "Were you trying to be sarcastic by showing that to me?"

Bahahahaha.

Not really safe for work or for viewing around small children:


25 comments:

litzi said...

Hi Attila,
OMG…I almost peed myself laughing! And nah, I don’t see why Big Kid would think you were trying to clue him in to the bigger picture by having him watch it. The stunned look at that young woman’s face was priceless…

Did the new neuropsych have any feasible suggestions (or meds) for how to motivate “the kid who is not related to you”? It’s got to be frustrating to deal with Big Kid’s inertia and realize that it’s not of his own making but a symptom. You mentioned a while ago that one of his doctors had prescribed some meds that really seemed to help. Has that changed? One positive aspect of Big Kid’s NOT having a driver’s license is that he can’t complain about not having his own car or be constantly borrowing yours. But if he could drive, you wouldn’t feel like you were running a taxi service.

Thanks for the marvelous video; I’m going to go change my underwear now.

Peace.

Half rabbit said...

He got set up with a small thing where he could make pocket money sitting on his butt in front of the computer
Doing what, if I may inquire? (sorry curiosity again)

I also hope the new neurophy. works out for all of you, and that the evil shoes don't strike again.

Kim Ayres said...

See if you can find anything on YouTube with "Kevin the Teenager". So much of BK's behaviour is not rare...

Half rabbit said...

See if you can find anything on YouTube with "Kevin the Teenager". So much of BK's behaviour is not rare...

I'm currently watching all those video's as I type. I don't particularly agree that you can base a behaviors' commonality on a comedy video but I get where your coming from.*

Thanks for the video link anyway. It's quite funny though I probably prefer Mr. Bean (to take an example of a character that was mentioned in the first video of Kevin the teenager I found)

*Yes the presence of exaggerated comedy on the subject indicates the presence of said behaviors in real life teenagers. However that argument could also apply to many false things such as aliens, talking pigs etc.

P.S. Sorry for reading to much into it. And I realized that you probably only left out further evidence due to time. It's just incomplete sentences bother me. :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That was so FUNNY--and served as a smack upside the head to Big Kid too--glad he "got it" after consideration. Good luck, Attila, on getting him on both of his own feet.

phlegmfatale said...

I knew before I clicked it which Little Britain skit that would be. Quite apropos. I'd call it progress that the point finally sank in with him.

Beth said...

Watched it, smiled, chuckled - and now I'm packing their bags...

Stinkypaw said...

I had seen it before and made me think of a friend of mine... sometimes it's the kids that has to be kicked out, because they won't leave by themselves, why would they? Everything is done for them!

Brenda said...

Hahahahaha!

When my son was about 13, he mentioned to one of his friends that he was never leaving home cause he had it made living at home. My husband overheard his remark and told him, "Son, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but the day you graduate, I'm giving you 50 bucks and a bus ticket and your ass is gone!"

mrsb said...

I've had the exact same issue with the shoes ("They tripped me!" Well, pick them up!!"). Also the wanting something for nothing. *sigh*

I know mine is only 11, but I so want to get some of this into him early. Or at least start driving it in now and hope that it's taken hold by the time he's old enough to need to do something about it. I might need a sledgehammer to make it stick, lol.

La La said...

That's hysterical! I had to go to YouTube to see it, but I love the irony!

Chris H said...

Totally awesome skit... I only just realised that we can see Little Britan here on one of the more obsure channels, I am going to be hooked on it!

elizabeth said...

Ick ick ick ick ick! My eyes!

Reminds me of a mama's boy I once dated.

marymurtz said...

I'm emailing that link to at least 50 people! LOL!

Queen Goob said...

FUNNY! My daughter is the movie critic this summer; she is awaiting her paycheck for every movie in our movie library she watches.

Sorry Honey, the mailman doesn't come here anymore.

BTW - .....don't be mad - I tagged you in my blog.

Love ya!
Mean it!

Eileen said...

Hi,
You know I hear you in a big way. It is so frustrating and the professionals can only do so much. Plus, they don't have to live with them.

Have you looked in to Supportive Care Independent Living? The Intensive Case Manager that we are now involved with, talked about it down the road. Of course I use to think we would never have to go there. Now, I am keeping my options open, wide open.

I loved the video. I laughed so loud the girls came running to see what I was watching. Too funny.

Sending love and support from here. Feel free to get in touch with me. I'm here for you too!
XOXOXO

Angela said...

Oh my
I do enjoy your posts

jen said...

Bitttttteeeeeeeeey! Gotta love Little Britain.

La La said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

I appreciate your comments.

Blessings.

Hen said...

Hi I found you via Green Girl -

David Walliams sounds like he was a perfectly timed tonic!

We love Little Britain....the trouble is some inner city kids now think it's cool to be Vicky Pollard.

My favourite is Daffed, the homophobic gay welsh man!
Hen

Kerith Collins said...

oh my gosh...that is one of the funniest things i have ever seen...boy am i glad my kids are still sleeping.....this is going to make me laugh all day!!!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Think of the therapy bills saved there! No denial to work through. I'm cracking up!

Kim Ayres said...

Sometimes I don't finish the sentence completely, nor try and justify if further because I know I'm talking complete bollocks and...

Casdok said...

Brillient!!

Hope Big Kid gets where he needs to be.

carmachu said...

Yeha, there's a HUGE difference between big kid and little guy, from teh stories you share. LG has motivation to do stuff and wants to be active in his own life. BG never really seems to.

Good luck!