Friday, April 18, 2008

Totally Verklempt...

Ok, you guys already know how I sneer at bad baby names.

As an example, Little Guy attended kindergarten with an adorable little girl named Felicia. We went to a school recital and were horrified/awed to find out that her name was actually spelled Phallicia. Either her mom had porn star plans for her in the future or was prepared to be absolutely despised once the kid got her hands on a dictionary.

And you also know what a big huge bug I have up my butt for the "tard" words----retard, f*cktard, slowtard, etc.

So a couple of days ago, I was minding my own damn business and had the Judge Mathis show on the tube while I was puttering around.

Took hearing it 3 or 4 times before I actually "heard" it.

One of the plaintiffs was named Tardenicia Monfort.

I just have no words. I'm utterly verklempt.

25 comments:

Cheri said...

Wow. REALLY? Wow.

DutchBitch said...

Whaaaat? Seriously?

And OMG on the spelling of that girls name.. Phallicia... She'll lover her Mom for.e.v.e.r!

Lola Magnolia said...

That's like a doctor friend of mine who was doing his rotation in the ER back in school when a mother with a skanky STD came in. She brought her young daughter with her and when my friend asked what her name was she told him "Chlamydia".

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Now......I have heard it all! One day...I will email you all the crazy names of past students of mine...UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE! :)

Beth said...

I actually Googled that (awful) name, wondering if others had it.
No. The first hit was this post.

warcrygirl said...

Does Phallicia have a twin sister named Cocksucker? Another blogger I read prides herself on her kids having cool names (and they do have pretty cool names) but she then goes on to say at least he children don't have "boring" names and that no one else has their name. Well, both of my kids have "boring" names and guess what? They are the ONLY kids in their class with that name. I've subbed in classes where there were 5 Haley/Haleigh/Haileys or 4 different forms of "Jared" or whatever the trendy names were the year they were born. Now THAT'S boring.

Brenda said...

My sister was an RN on Labor and delivery for years and one woman named her baby Dominique. She spelled it DONOTHING.

Here's a clip of Shirley Q. Liquor about names:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgkBRul7jO8&feature=related

Traceytreasure said...

I learn something every time I come here. I have a lot to learn about you though. Being a new reader I did not know about the "tard" names. Spongebob started that for my kids. Patrick takes a weekly "tard" (mustard)condiment soak. I think Spongebob is a pretty strange name. Hope you are having a great weekend.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

OMG!!!!!! That's just WRONG.
Of course, as an author, I've seen some names chosen by adults that make me scratch my head.
In the interests of not being a total bitch, I'm not listing them.

Zenmomma said...

We once saw something about a woman who named her baby Shiteed. Only it was spelled Shithead.

litzi said...

Hi Attila,
LMAO over the name Phallicia! And I thought Frank Zappa was a bit eccentric for naming his kids “Moon Unit”, “Dweezil”, “Ahmet Emuukha Rodan” and “Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen”. It’s too bad parents don’t use some common sense (provided they have any!) and realize that weird names will undoubtedly give their children complexes and/or a social stigma. I wonder if there are a lot of kids with peculiar monikers who have them changed legally when they’re 18…

Big Red and Thor. Ophelia Hinney.

Heather said...

WTF?!

Some people.

Michael Manning said...

A girlfriend of mine as in a grocery and she commented to a mother what a cute baby she had in the stroller and asked her name. The woman said "Venerial. Isn't that so pretty?".

Rootietoot said...

My husband had a high school classmate who named her first child "Medulla Oblongata", they were studying anatomy at the time.

imfunnytoo said...

Holy ****! I think kids with names after genetalia and disease like the above ought to be able to sue for emotional distress once they hit 18....

The dumbness of some names...W T Effing F.

Mamma said...

Sadly, these people make me feel so much better about myself.

Angela said...

Lovely um...NO

I do like my sons normal name

TOM said...

What is it with these people!!

I had a Haitian gentleman who worked for me and he used to take letters from each family members name and make up a new name..I guess that is how you would come up with these. How about athletes.. I see Johnny spelled Jhonny, or Sean, spelled Shon..It's like there parent's were still Hooked on Phonics

Melissa said...

That is just so wrong. So wrong. WHY would you do this to another person, much less an innocent child??? Equally verklempt.

phlegmfatale said...

phallicia?

OMG.

Valerie Marie said...

I know now why you're not allowed (France + Germany) to give your baby any name ...

Jennifer H said...

I hope that poor girl has the good sense to have the spelling legally changed someday. Awful.

Queen Goob said...

Tier 1 I can hear it now:

"How'd you get your name?"

"Well, my mom's a nympho and my dad digs porn."


I just don't understand why I got a bunch of grief when I wanted to name my daughter Allyson Chaynes...

Ann(ie) said...

God I love you. We have the same sense of humor!! My ex hubby is fondly referred to as fucktard. Just makes me happy. I clearly need to nickname someone slowtard. ;)

abfh said...

I think people who do that tend to see their children as pets. :(

I've tagged you for the Five Things Meme.