Friday, October 19, 2007

Sometimes You Just Gotta Say....




You know, sometimes you really gotta say it, even if it's just for yourself.

Last week Hubby went back east to spend some time with his mom. Luckily, he didn't schedule construction projects to be done on the house while he was gone (like he's done in the past), so I didn't have to deal with weird things like walking past the kitchen window and viewing acres of ass-crack.

But true to form, the Baddogs were at it again, this time I think protesting the absence of their mollycoddling Daddy. Charlie, the mutant 13-pound yorkie got her face and body into some kind of plant that disperses seeds in nasty little spikes. Her entire face and front end looked like a hedgehog's butt. Pulling those hitchhikers out were as unpleasant for her as they were for us, because, dammit, those things are sharp! Big Kid, Little Guy and I had to take turns holding her (two of us at a time), calming her, while the other ripped those suckers out. With hair.

You know, I can deal with a lot of things. Blood, yeah, kinda, as long as it's liquid and not in clotted chunks. Poop, well heck---I changed diapers for almost 8 straight years between the two kids, so I can deal with doody.


Snot that comes out of a face bigger than a 2-year-old's?---nope.

Puke---well forget that too. Nada. Not touching it. My guys aren't little toddlers. If they can't make it to the toilet, then the puker can be the cleaner-upper. I mean, they're already sick. Why make ME sick while cleaning up THEIR barf?

If the puker happens to be one of the big dogs, well then, that's Daddy's job. They're HIS dogs. I'll clean up after MY little dog, and it helps that she's only 3 pounds. Her puke spans like a tablespoon. ;-)

So when the Noodle (the big dog I showed you a few weeks ago with the anti-skunkinizer crapball over her) came in the second night after Daddy went out of town, and puked in her crate, well it was a double dilemma.


She actually puked whole turds. Yep, that's right. Apparently she followed the little dogs around and gobbled up a hot snack without chewing. I can deal with turds. But puke-turds? Geezus.

Hubby owes me BIG TIME. And I will collect. With interest.

I told you guys about a 3-hour law class I have where it's all lecture. 3 tests, 1 research project for the entire semester, no notes allowed during the exams, etc. The teacher digresses a lot, so it's hard to tell exactly what notes should be taken. You will only do as well as the notes you take and selectively memorize. I also complained about a fellow student (who I called Ms. Bigmouth) who just won't shut up and annoys the hell out of me.

I know way more about her now than I know about my next door neighbors, and I'm not kidding. She has to insert her personal dramas into everything that has nothing to do with this class.

[ok, I'm snipping this part here. On reflection, I was a bit more mean-spirited than I should have been].


Judge Judy is the boss, Applesauce. Ms. Bigmouth has some "friend" that quotes her things, except either her "friend" is a complete dumbass or she can't exactly remember what the "friend" said. Doesn't stop her from quoting said "friend" though. Very frequently.

"The wheels of truth grind slowly but they grind very small." Hmph. If you're pompous enough to quote Chaucer, you should at least get it partially right.


And isn't it pretentious of me to point out that the original quote is from Chaucer? snerk. ;-)

Since Hubby was gone last week, I skipped this class simply because I didn't have anyone to leave Little Guy with (Big Kid was out of the question) and I didn't feel comfortable letting him stay in the student lounge. The class is at night, there is minimal security and students, he's just too friendly and too many bad things could happen. I had a classmate tape the class for me on my recorder.

So I'm sitting at the breakfast bar with the headphones on and transcribing my notes, when I realize that my buddy who recorded the class sat right next to "Ms. Bigmouth". Oy. I thought it was bad enough sitting a row or two behind her. Now I got to hear every adoring sigh and indignant grunt up close and personal.

Thank God she didn't rip ass, or I would have heard it in stereo.

There was a note on the envelope from the recording classmate that said that my recorder was "full" and missed the last 30 minutes of the class.

As I'm listening, I learn in detail that Ms. Bigmouth's [more snippage of unneccesary meanness on my part]

Then later I get to hear a 10-minute exchange where she confuses "due process" with "a right to a speedy trial" and she and the professor (who is trying to correct her misconceptions and doesn't quite know what the hell she is getting at because he doesn't live his life watching Law & Order reruns) go back and forth because what she really means with her blabber about "due process" is really a defendant's right to "a speedy trial", and he's saying that everyone deserves "due process" and he's heard of civil trials that have lasted over 15 years, and she keeps bleating, "isn't that unconstitutional?"

Of course, I got what she was meaning to say within the first minute or two of the exchange. I watch Law & Order too, but I guess I understand it better. I bet other students who were actually in the room did too, but didn't step in.

At this point, bent over my notes and wearing my headphones,(thinking I'm alone) I shout, "Why don't you just shut the f*ck up already???? I'm so sick and tired of listening to your crap!"

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and it's Big Kid, and I push down the headphones. He looks scared.

"Mom, I'm sorry! I just asked if I could have a soda!"

Gak!

Ok, I have to say this, because it's like the ultimate in irony.

In class a couple of days ago, we got our first test results back, and we were going over the answers with the professor. I sweated over this in a HUGE way, but I did well, which was a big relief.

A student who has only actually been in the class maybe 4 times out of the last 8 came in, and the professor asked her if she took the test so that he could hand it back to her. She said no, didn't he get her phone call saying she couldn't make it? So he gave her the test and told her she could take it outside. We got through the class and were let out pretty early, and as we all walked out, we saw that the late-test student was taking the test with all the books and hand-outs spread out around her as she was looking up the answers.

On one hand, you will totally get that every single freaking thing Ms. Bigmouth has wasted class time over blabbering about her personal crap has nothing to do with the class topic, when I tell you it's "legal ethics". On the other, a bunch of us students got together at the stairwell and said, "OMG! Did you see that the test-taker was using the book and handouts?"

So since the class is in "legal ethics" should we report her? I mean, none of US got to use our notes or references, and it was a pretty freaking hard test. Then again, should we show solidarity to a fellow student? Maybe she had good reasons for all of her absences.

On a final note, we had the Grand Opening of our new office today. There was a huge turn-out, which was really nice. I mentioned that we bought a building in another mountain town a couple of months ago, and this has been taking up a big part of my time in the last couple of months with the renovation and other details.

I'll post some before and after pics soon.

I promise that I'm working on catching up with all of you! I'll get there at some point!

xoxo

27 comments:

Casdok said...

Yes hubby does owe you big time!!!

Valerie Marie said...

I wish you a very, very, very nice weekend! You deserve it! xoxo

golfwidow said...

Solidarity be damned. I could look stuff up and pass an exam in a course I'm not taking. It doesn't prove I know the material - it proves I kick ass at research.

Samantha said...

To be honest, I think you should tell as it's not fair on the rest of you. I'm also taking Law and we have the male version of your Ms Bigmouth. We like to call him Bloody Know It All, or BKIA for short He has to answer and contest everything out lecturer says, including mentioning things he's heard from 'friends'. Gah! He needs a good slapping!

Brenda said...

I'd be thinking up some extra special thanks from Hubby if I were you.

Beth said...

I can't believe your professor never got around to getting that woman to keep her idiotic thoughts to herself.
As for the student who wrote the test with the aid of all the handouts, etc. Rat her out. Let the professor decide if she had legitimate reasons for her absences.

BTW, dogs eating the "leavings" of other dogs is a winter time occurrence around here. My kids call them "poopsicles."

TxGoodie said...

Check out this link ....
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1759,2202986,00.asp?kc=PCRSS02129TX1K0000530
Or if the link doesn't work see if for yourself at PCMAG.COM Site Of The Week 10.19.07 "Rate My Professor". Hehe...as they say at A&M, Gig 'em, ATM!

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Phew! Reading your latest post makes me exhausted; your lives are like a perpetual all-American situation drama (comedy?). Do you ever take time out for commercials or summer reruns?

I vaguely remember hearing that dogs that eat excrement have a nutritional deficiency and are trying to compensate…though what mineral or vitamin they think they’re getting from eating feces is beyond comprehension. Not enough ham in the diet????

You and your fellow classmates really should get together and inform your professor that the woman was cheating on her exam. Not only is it not fair to the rest of the class but she’s not acquiring the information she needs to continue her education, unless she’s going into politics.

Now that you’ve had the Grand Opening of your new office building, what major project is waiting in the wings for you to tackle? Surely you’re going to need something other than preparing for the Holidays to keep you going in circles…LOL.

Don’t be too hard on your hubby when he gets home; however, jewelry is always nice, or a romantic dinner for two at a fancy-schamsy restaurant, or a lovely bouquet of flowers.

Joe said...

>>and gobbled up a hot snack without chewing.<<
I almost spit up my Starbucks when I read this. You're killing me.

Joe said...

Now to finish the rest of your post, yes, you should report the cheating student. There's not much decision making in it for me. She's cheating and you know about it. Time to speak up.

Lola Magnolia said...

As always, funny stuff!

As for your classmate, I would report her. If you sign up to take the class, you're responsible for showing up. That doesn't mean you call up your professor and say "Oh by the way, I can't make it for the test today.". Laziness is not a legitimate excuse and even if she had a legitimate excuse, she knew there was a test that she would have to take, so that doesn't give her the right to whip out all the reading material when everyone else had to study for it.

carmachu said...

Hey! You left out the most important part.

How did YOU do? What does well mean?



I think you should mention it to the teacher. FAIR is fair after all. And it is ethics.

phlegmfatale said...

I would tell the teacher - yes, it IS about ethics, and the student obviously has missed that point. Perhaps if she'd drag her ass to class occasionally...

imfunnytoo said...

Not to be cold, brutal, and no wiggle room or anything.

She cheated. The prof needs to know ...yesterday...

Heather said...

Damn your hubby owes you big time.

And as for the cheater--I'd report her. Most definitely.

Hope you had a good weekend darlin!

Mrs. G. said...

I would narc...I love this word and haven't used it since ninth grade. What a twit.

laurenblogs said...

I have the weakest stomach ever! I can't do puke and I can't do poo, but some how puked up poo is making me laugh so hard I want to vomit myself!

DutchBitch said...

Holy Puke, he DOES owe you big time!!!

Angela said...

I am sick right now and the thought of what your dog puked is making me want to puke

Heather said...

I read the dog poop part right after supper. Not a smart move. Still, this made me snort so loud my husband came to make sure I didn't swallow my tongue:

"I mean, they're already sick. Why make ME sick while cleaning up THEIR barf?"

Brilliant.

Stinkypaw said...

I'd say he owes you jewellery or something! My cat only has hairball and I'm not too thrilled about picking it up, so I can only imagine!

As for the fellow student, I'd say something. It wasn't very ethical on her part to do that!

carmachu said...

Naaaaa stinky. He doesnt owe her jewelry. I'm sure he's to putting up with her shit, its only fair she cleans up the dogs....:D

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Nope. Not jewelry. DIAMONDS. (BTW, I can see you now pointing to the screen and saying "See? This chick thinks I deserve diamonds. What do you say to THAT.)

And that class sounds frustrating.

mia said...

Ack. Can you ask your professor to do something about that woman? Maybe you should start a petition or something. She sounds just awful.

Gonzo said...

This needs a warning sign: don't read this at breakfast...! :S

Ruth Dynamite said...

Not fair and unethical. Tattle, I say. (But in a clever, innocent way..."I didn't realize we were allowed to use our notes and texts for the exam - like so and so!"

Vicky said...

Poop-turds. Your dog has a special talent.

About the exam cheater. I'm not sure I would ever "rat" anyone, but it would make an interesting "hypothetical" discussion for the class. (and someone else might do the ratting for you)