Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Please Send Good Wishes...

Not about dogs 'n' skunks...that's all good.

I used to write about my nephew the "Happening Dude" from time to time (you can click on the label if you want to refresh your memory--he's the kid who will taste anything for money). I haven't for the past year because it's been a little painful for our family, and I really don't want to give his mom the public butt-kicking I think she deserves.

There is just some laundry that can't be aired, so I'll sketch it as briefly as possible.

About 4 years ago, my brother's ex-wife and her new husband had a baby. HD had been adopted from foster care by my brother and his ex shortly before their divorce and she had primary custody. They live in another state.

Anyway, HD was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, had some very mild learning disabilities and some growth issues. He's very very small for his age, much to his embarassment. He needs a lot of one-on-one attention.

After the new baby, ex decided to start a home business. She decided that HD was a little too much to handle with her new busy life and she really needed his room for a home office. So she called my brother (who was living in my mother's house with my mom and step-dad who is now deceased) and gave him an ultimatum.

Either come and get HD, or she was going to have him placed in a foster group home. I sh*t you not.

So that's how HD came here.

My brother has a lot of good intentions, but is not the most responsible of people. So most of HD's care fell to my mom. To give her a break, HD would come and stay with us for holidays, vacations, and some weekends. We loved having him, and having the chance to get to know him, because due to the acrimonious nature of the divorce, brother's ex never let the kids come visit us.

HD was doing really well in school, and made a lot of friends.

Last summer, the poop hit the fan. While he was visiting us, ex called HD here and told him she wanted him back. Turns out that her new husband had filed for a divorce, my brother's obligation of child support for the older kids had run out a couple of months earlier, and her home business was a disaster. She'd decided to move kit and caboodle back to her home state, and while her soon-to-be-ex would share equal custody with their baby, he didn't intend on financing her new life in perpetuity.

Legally, there was really nothing any of us could do. She still retained primary custody, although HD had been out here almost 3 years. And he WANTED to go. She promised that she would make time for just the two of them, and promised that he could come visit us last summer (none of which she followed through with). She's his mom, and he loves her.

We decided not to fight it, simply because it would have put HD in the hurtful position of being in the middle.

He called us a couple of times in the last year, but hung up whenever she came into the room, so our contact with him has been limited.

We heard Monday night that he's missing. Of course, ex didn't bother to let my brother know---one of his older kids called that night.

The authorities think that he might be trying to make it here. We haven't heard anything from him, and it's been over 48 hours since he was "officially" declared missing. He took money his mom had stashed away, so he could be on a bus. Then again, they're taking apart the family computer to see if he hooked up with someone on the internet.

We're just paralyzed.

Please send good thoughts...

30 comments:

Heather said...

Oh you know you are all in my prayers. Please keep us update hon.
(((((((((ATM)))))))))))))))

amy said...

omigod I hope he's safe, wherever he is and wherever he turns up

Jenn said...

Oh, no, how terrifying! I sure hope he's okay and somewhere safe. My thoughts are with him, and your family. There is nothing worse than just not knowing.

Ashley's Mom said...

I am so sorry that all this has played out the way it has. It really angers me when so-called adults play with the minds of children, especially adopted children. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.

Deborah

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Hopefully by the time this comment is posted on your blog site, HD will have been found safe and sound. Your environs would certainly be preferable to the shuffling between adults (??) that he’s been experiencing over the years.

I’ve concluded that there are never any lulls or moments of tranquility in the “Attila” household.

Anonymous said...

Please keep us all notified. I hope he is found safe and sound. My heart is aching for you all.

Anna said...

I'll add my good thoughts too.... here's hoping you guys won't need them after all!

Hope HD is okay.

Beth said...

That is so sad and so scary.
I really do hope he is on his way to you - a place of security and love.
Good thoughts and prayers - for all of you.

Deb said...

That is terrifying! You are in my thoughts and prayers

New Diva on the Blog said...

No Way! That is just too awful for words! Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Trish said...

Oh my goodness...

**thoughts**

**prayers**

{hugs}

Hope it all turns out ok.

Birdsword said...

wow, I only hope for the best for this little boy and your family

Star said...

Thinking of you are hoping for the best possible outcome.

sparksfley said...

I am so very very sorry.

Please keep us updated, so we know the best way to pray for your family.

golfwidow said...

May he please be safe.

Brenda said...

My prayers are with you hon, I know your heart is aching for word that he's ok. Keep the faith.

Marymurtz said...

Oh my God, I hope he's on his way to you. We'll be praying for him. What a lonely place he's been in, but I'm hopeful he can make it to you where he can be safe.

carmachu said...

Ouch.

You got it dear. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and you.

imfunnytoo said...

Wow...just wow....I hope he does meander to you soon....none the worse for the journey

Good Thoughts Sent

Special K said...

It's a blessing I don't have to use Canada Post to send you good thoughts, or you might never get them.

And since I'm not paying for postage, here's a hug:

((((((((HUG)))))))

Stinkypaw said...

Man, when it rains it pours at the Attila's home... Sorry to read about HD and I'm sending you lots of good thoughts. Take care.

Allknowingjen said...

That poor boy! I hope he turns up safe and sound- lots of thoughts and prayers headed your way.

Casdok said...

Oh Sh*t. The poor kid.
Where ever he is a hope hes safe.

digibirder said...

I do hope HD is found safe and sound very soon.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

I'm stunned!! I'm sooooo sorry for you all right now.
Sending tons of good thoughts your way.
I hope he DOES make it there. You are the best.

Flamenco Mom said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'll keep your family in my prayers, and I hope HD is safe with you and your family soon.

phlegmfatale said...

sending good thoughts your way. I hope he's made it back to you already.

Valerie Marie said...

(((HD)))

DutchBitch said...

Holy shit, woman. That is awful! Sorry I wasn't here earlier and just caught up!

DutchyHugz

Eileen said...

I am so sorry, how awful for you and your family. If you need ANYTHING let me know. I wish there was something I could do.....Sending love and good wishes.