Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mum's the Word

I've said this before and I'll say it again.

I love my mom with all my heart.

But as I wrote in a previous post entitled Mummy Dearest, there are just some things that go above and beyond daughterly duty and love.

In the above post, adult children kept their mom's corpse in an upstairs bedroom for a couple of years after she died of natural causes. They wouldn't admit to others outside the family that she had passed away...she was always "too unwell" to see anybody, and they'd go up and spray bug spray and air freshener on her once in awhile. As soon as the home's air conditioning sh*t the bed, the jig was up. Mom got so stinky, even the neighbors' noticed.

Oooh, that smell. Can't you smell that smell?

Ok, I'll have that song in my head all day now.

Oh and they had her propped up watching her favorite TV shows for the entire time. Eww.

Although I never saw any follow-up, I have a sneaking suspicion that they might have been collecting her social security checks, because they were all living in Mom's house. But's that's just me.

There's no way London sisters Josephine and Valmai Lamas were cashing in on Mom's check surreptitiously though.

Mom's officially dead.

But the two have been paying a funeral home to keep her in cold storage for the last 10 years.

Originally they didn't agree with her cause of death---an embolism brought on by a leg thrombosis, and wanted to keep her on ice so they could get a second opinion. Apparently they didn't get one, or get the one they wanted. But they're still not ready to bury her.

Although Mom has degraded over the years, Valmai still comes to pull her out of the fridge to sit with her every Saturday on her lunch hour.

Sister Josephine comes to touch up her foundation and lipstick, and to pack fresh padding in Mom's stomach cavity. Yep, that's right.

I am going to leave explicit instruction in my will to have my corpus disposed of immediately.

That is just too freaking weird.

21 comments:

Stinkypaw said...

That reads like a good scenario or something! Some people are seriously f*cked up!

Anna said...

Just one word from me.

Eeeeeewwww.

Heather said...

i've heard of not letting go but that shit is creepy.


ewww.

(this coming from the girl who is minoring in mortuary law) ha ha.

Beth said...

I love my mother but...
My kids love me but...

Seriously, Josephine and Valmai need to get over it - they need to get a life.

I'm also wondering about that funeral home.

Litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Are you preparing for Halloween with this ghoulish story? Josephine and Valmai Lamas’ grotesque rituals with their deceased Mother would have made Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff flee the haunted house screaming in terror and staining their undies. Both women should undergo some intense psychoanalysis and bury the corpse ASAP.

How does your back feel today?

Trish said...

Oh God....they sound like my relatives.

golfwidow said...

"How was Mum today?"

"Rather quiet."

Samantha said...

I remember reading that, it's so gross! What is the mentality behind it I wonder?

Brenda said...

Ewww,ewww, absolutely Ewwww!!!!!

Chris H said...

That is totally grosse!!! THANK YOU so much for that snippet of information. lol

Mamma said...

I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

Jacqui said...

Please tell me that you are kidding!

Seriously?

Rootietoot said...

Y'know, I hope my kids love me, but that's ridiculous. Imagine the condition of her mattress.

Eileen said...

Wow, this is really, really weird. Think I need to be a little more specific in my will?
Where do you find this stuff? I love it! XOXO

OneEar said...

I've instructed my executor to surreptitiously sprinkle my cremains on a salad bar at Wendy's.

I don't really care whether my relatives are the ones who eat me, but I'm more magnanimous than most.

Slick said...

Buncha damn weirdos.

Course, I could watch ESPN forever.....

Deb said...

That is disgusting!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

It's a strange little world out there!

Jennifer McK said...

I'm getting cremated. If they want to put lipstick (which I never wear) on my freakin' ashes, then more power to 'em.
Frankly, my kids will dump me over the Redwoods and call it good.
*shudders* Weird.

phlegmfatale said...

omfg!

Beki said...

I saw this story on tv...whilst having my breakfast!

It's very strange and sad isn't it? Makes me wonder if there was human taxidermy available just how many people would have their loved ones stuffed and propped in the corner...

Hope you and yours are doing well!