Mum's the Word

I've said this before and I'll say it again.

I love my mom with all my heart.

But as I wrote in a previous post entitled Mummy Dearest, there are just some things that go above and beyond daughterly duty and love.

In the above post, adult children kept their mom's corpse in an upstairs bedroom for a couple of years after she died of natural causes. They wouldn't admit to others outside the family that she had passed away...she was always "too unwell" to see anybody, and they'd go up and spray bug spray and air freshener on her once in awhile. As soon as the home's air conditioning sh*t the bed, the jig was up. Mom got so stinky, even the neighbors' noticed.

Oooh, that smell. Can't you smell that smell?

Ok, I'll have that song in my head all day now.

Oh and they had her propped up watching her favorite TV shows for the entire time. Eww.

Although I never saw any follow-up, I have a sneaking suspicion that they might have been collecting her social security checks, because they were all living in Mom's house. But's that's just me.

There's no way London sisters Josephine and Valmai Lamas were cashing in on Mom's check surreptitiously though.

Mom's officially dead.

But the two have been paying a funeral home to keep her in cold storage for the last 10 years.

Originally they didn't agree with her cause of death---an embolism brought on by a leg thrombosis, and wanted to keep her on ice so they could get a second opinion. Apparently they didn't get one, or get the one they wanted. But they're still not ready to bury her.

Although Mom has degraded over the years, Valmai still comes to pull her out of the fridge to sit with her every Saturday on her lunch hour.

Sister Josephine comes to touch up her foundation and lipstick, and to pack fresh padding in Mom's stomach cavity. Yep, that's right.

I am going to leave explicit instruction in my will to have my corpus disposed of immediately.

That is just too freaking weird.