Sunday, August 27, 2006

You Are What You Eat...


Ever wonder if some people just get up and eat a big steaming bowl of stupid for breakfast?

I do.

Especially lately. I can't turn on the news or read the paper without some story about willful idiocy jumping out and biting me on the nose.

Jeffrey Cullen from Kingman, Arizona knew that his local fire department only responds to fire calls.

So when his cat wouldn't come down from a tree, he called 911 and told them that his tree was on fire.

I guess he figured that once emergency services got there and discovered there WAS no fire, they'd say, "no hard feelings" and get his cat down anyway (trying to follow his logic here).

No dice. They told him to call animal control or wait for the cat to get hungry and come down by itself.

Cullen must have had an extra helping of stupid that morning. He was so disgruntled that he went back in his house, came out with a gun and tried to shoot the fire fighters (and a 12-year-old neighbor who was watching the show) for failing to rescue his cat.

He's being held on 4 counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

An honorable "steaming bowl of stupid" mention goes out to the Orange County man who wasted around $30K of tax payer's money and emergency resources because he was too ashamed to take himself to the ER when a little booty experimentation went awry.

You can read the whole sad and sordid story at this link.

I KNOW there's got to be a gerbil joke in here somewhere!


And how was YOUR week?

21 comments:

lildb said...

dude. don't you know how delicious stupid is? I mean, especially if it's served in a bowl. (w/chocolate milk, natch.)

I find that I eat it every few days, myself. yum! :p

kim said...

I like to read your blog because it makes me feel smart. SMRT smart.

Mr. Fabulous said...

What I don't understand is, if the guy had a gun, why didn't he just shoot his cat out of the tree?

Tracie said...

Maybe if he had shot at the tree, the cat would have come down.

And, why didn't he call animal control?

Whew! I sure am feeling smart tonight!!

carmachu said...

Wow that is stupid.

Locally here, a company had the fire department burn down some bungeloos that it had on its property.

Except, the fire department burned down the wrong ones. But no worries it wasnt the fire department's fault.

Turns out the company doesnt own the property nor buildings in the first place....

Deb said...

Thats too awesome! I love ready about stupid things stupid people do. It makes me feel so much better about my own ignorance!

Ruth Dynamite said...

Reminds me of the woman who called 911 because she thought one of her local cops was cute and she wanted his number. (Did you hear about that one?) They arrested her.

Heather said...

OMG. LMAO. And I totally agree with Mr. Fabulous says! :]

Where's the Coffee said...

Delurking because stupidity is one of my favorite topics. They are eating stupid in China too.

I'm glad I found your blog - it's a fun read!

Stinkypaw said...

Lately I feel that a lot of people have stupid for breakfast, lunch and dinner and some snacks throughout the day as well!

Keep saying it "The gene pool is in some serious need of chlorine!!!"

James Medhurst said...

There is nothing scarier than stupid people with guns.

Kunoichi said...

Stupid people stories are so much fun! I think you guys would love http://bonehead.oddballs.com/ I highly recommend signing up for the newsletter. I've been getting it for a few years now, and still love it!

Mama C said...

I am absolutely sure that there are people who have stupid every single day of their lives. I teach them and deal with their equally stupid-eating parents.

There, I said it.

RC said...

crazy...why would he even begin to think this was a good idea...OBVIOUSLY it's not...

I hope his own personal plight of cat retreaval has mad it's way to others who think that the fire department performs the task that are familiar from watching Dennis the Menace.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Pendullum said...

Lost for words with the first...
but the ole joke comes to mind with your second entry...
What does a gerbil say when Richard Gere walks into a pet store?
Woof,Woof!

OneEar said...

Given its ubiquity, stupidity must be an essential element of the human condition. While some believe that stupidity can be gained a posteriori, I tend to believe that inanity is acquired by a priori processes or is innate.

It is very difficult to learn anti-knowledge or to ingest it in the form of breakfast cereal. Some people have what can only be described as “idiotic intuition.” Left with a series of choices, they will infallibly choose the most idiotic. These people tend to run for political office.

DutchBitch said...

It's sad to realize that unfortunately there will always be assholes like that around...

Annie Drogynous said...

Oy vey. There's no point commenting on stupid people. I'd waste too many precious brain cells.

Kim Ayres said...

Do you remember that one back in January where a guy threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves and it rushed back into his house and burned the house down?

I think several people blogged about it at the time

parnellpr said...

Shouldn't there be some kind of tax or fine for this kind of idiocy?

Pippa

Ma Titwonky said...

So this gerbil meets up with this stuck dildo....

Sorry, I don't have a but(t) to follow that one. :)