Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Bad Idea Number #37--Hooking Up With the Psycho From Hell

Ok, I'm not going to be sexually biased here, because the Psycho From Hell stuff goes both ways (believe me, my younger brother, who is the nicest guy in the world, is really really hot, has a good job and owns his own home--ok I'll stop trying to get him a date---is a freaking psycho magnet) .

You'd think there would be a couple of warning flags thrown up at least in the first few dates.

Forget about trying to get laid. Think about the long-term and rational.

Do whatever you can to protect yourself from the bunny-boilers.

Does he/she let you go into the bathroom by your own bad self?

Does he/she talk about the ex and add "rest in peace"?

A 32-year-old woman in Corpus Christie apparently missed all the warning signs. I don't know if the police are not releasing names in fear that other psychos might see the report as a "vacancy" sign and decide to move in or what.

I sure wish they'd release HIS name to warn any future objects of his affection.

I'm not trying to blame the victim, but really---I don't subscribe to the notion that "he/she was the best partner in the world and suddenly one morning out of the blue he/she just snapped and became a raving lunatic!"

After a previous incident of domestic violence this month, the woman obtained a restraining order against her boyfriend.

Psycho Ex From Hell's response? He gave her the finger.

A reasonable person might say, "whoopdedo".

Small price to pay to get a jackass out of her life.

Except he literally gave her the finger.

He sent her a severed finger in the mail with a note that said, "This is my last chance to touch you."

Since police are unable to locate him, they can't determine whether the finger was actually his. It was a clean cut and it was washed, from the reports.

I think there should be a standard short-form questionnaire that every sane (operative word) person carry in their purse or pocket before hooking up with anyone from the bar/the gym/the church social.

With questions like:

Have you ever owned any pets? How old were they when they died? What was the cause of death?

Ever have a restraining order taken out against you? If so, what were the circumstances?

Were you adopted?

Sorry, I couldn't resist a little adoptee humor there.

Please feel free to add more questions to the list....


Special K said...

I just wanna ask you what your brother is doing this weekend.

kim said...

When I was in college one of my roommates was dating this scary guy. Who at one point came to our house and stabbed himself in the arm and said "I love you so much I'm willing to do this to myself for you." He broke in to our place later that night (my roommate obviously didn't stay alone at our place that night) and took back stuff he'd left there - and then left a message on our answering machine to apologize for the break in.

And that's the story of my first restraining order, boys and girls!

That finger story is totally freaky!

Kate said...

Yuk! And the police aren't sure if it is his finger. Yuk again!

Questions to add to the list, umm . . . how did you lose your finger seems like a good un LOL

Nikki said...


How 'bout asking them if they sniff powdered detergent.


Samantha said...

That is absoloutly disgusting. I may have had some psyco exes but no I'm thinking they weren't so bad! Yuck!

Kevin Charnas said...


okay, how 'bout...

"Have you ever eaten poo-poo?"

"Have you ever driven your car on the sidewalk for more than 10 feet?"

"Have you ever used paper clips for anything less constructive than clipping paper?"

"Have you ever gargled pee-pee?"

Attila The Mom said...

Special K---he's going to be out rescuing puppies. Just kidding.

Kim---yikes. First restraining order? ;-)

Kate--no kidding. Or--how did you get that brand on your forehead?

Nikki--did anybody ever tell you that you have a really nice ass? I think it's hairier than my son's.

Samantha--I'm with you there. I've dated a couple of doozies, but thank goodness nothing this bad!

Kevin---You're demented. That's all I'm gonna say. ;-)

ally said...

scary stuff... it's scarier knowing that the guy is still out there. i was thinking if he falls for another woman, what excuse is he going to use? or is he going to tell the truth, "oh, i gave my ex the finger."

Jimbo Big Toe said...

A real man would have cut off his um member and left a nice note saying "why don't you let me bang you one last time?"

Miss Keeks said...

Weird. I hope the guy wasn't an adoptee. We have enough wackos.

Let's face it. Sometimes you really don't know. Some sociopaths are really good at keeping it under control in certain circumstances. Of course, you should always watch out for flecks of blood.

Charlie said...

It may have been the infamous Wendy's chili finger, which was originally used by a female.

But you know, even with my limited knowledge, I think the fellow could very well have ACS.

Nikki said...

((shakin my ass for you))

Attila, I juuuusssss looooovvve when people compliment my ass. LOL

You're a freak too!

Annie Drogynous said...

I would never cut off a body part for my ex. Not unless he paid me a buttload of money for it and then I might just consider it.

jennster said...

i heard about this.. finger mailing incident. SO FUCKING GROSS! people are wack jobs. seriously.

carmachu said...

Why do people hook up with psycho folks?

Because their stupid. Its the answer for everything people do in this world.....

Mel said...

*Counts her blessings that never has she had a severed digit mailed to her by an ex*

DutchBitch said...

OMG!!! He must be related to the dates I went on lately! Yes, dateS... I seem to be a Psycho/Lunatic/Jerk magnet as well!

I don't ask questions, I go with my gut instinct. If it doesn't feel right, I get out of the date a.s.a.p. Mostly I am proven right by the guys turning into loudmouth raving stalking lunatics as a result of their dented ego...

Fortunately I am not into passing my phonenumber and address 'round that much... Ugh

Sven said...

Here's one:

Where do you keep your ice pick?

Big Pissy said...

Holy Crap!!!!

I'd have to enter the Witness Protection Program or something.

You know that nut isn't gonna stop with just a finger.....

TxGoodie said...

For real, Texas really does have it all! Makes me so proud.

Our nuts are better than your nuts ought to be our slogan. Or Don't Mess With Texas Psychos.

Scary thing is he's still got NINE fingers left, doesn't he?

If it was me, I'd have to tell him no dice now that he's screwed up the foreplay thing. :-)

Beki said...

Cadburys fingers good. Real fingers bad.

shirley said...

Oh no, I'm thinking like Jimbo, totally thought the guy should've mailed his "other finger". Hee!

shirley said...

And a warning question should be, "Are you Jimbo, or do you think like him?"

Oh dear, I'm a psycho. Nobody warn my boyfriend!

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Oh, man. That is sick.

A good list of questions.


Brenda said...

"Have you ever owned any pets? How old were they when they died? What was the cause of death?"

These would have to be the most important questions to ask before beginning any relationship. Decidedly not after beginning one... (makes note to ask the hubby of 35 yrs these questions).

Me said...

Oh my god! A finger??

Rainman said...

The finger thing is way the hell out there. I mean way out there.

You almost need references with phone numbers from their Ex's to verify if they are crazy psyco stalkers or not:
Hello Ms. Doe, is he a nut job or not? Did he ever mail a finger to you?

News flash here, Women can be just as bad as the guy stalkers. Don't believe me, ask any married guy! :)

KL said...

I know all about the Psycho-from-Hell, or as we call her, "The Bitch"

If not for her, my brother would be alive today.....

BTW...why you never introduced ME to your brother?? You KNOW how single I am!