Friday, August 07, 2009

Oh Dear...

Howdy! I'm back!

And I missed you guys. I'll come and visit you all and catch up over the weekend.

I've been saving up all kinds of snarkies to share while I was gone.

One that has just been KILLING me involves AOL.

Now you know I have a hate/hate relationship with AOL, but I've had it for over 10 years, and I have all kinds of things saved on it.

And I fear change.

Plus TLPWSFB (The League of People with Sh*t for Brains) provides so much snark fodder.

The latest has to do with the comments sections on their "news" reader. Forget reading the article---just skip straight to the comments. Almost every single one is a freakfest of extraordinary proportions.

It doesn't matter what the article is about----say, Beyonce's bodacious booty, how to filet and grill your own road kill, ways to get 10 more miles a gallon in your car, or even the latest medical miracle----it ALWAYS devolves into comments like these:

The self-righteous blaming the world's ills on the godless hordes
10 ads for Colon Cleanse
How the U.S. is going to hell in a handbasket because we have a (insert various racial slurs) man in the White House.

I can't figure it out.

Is it the same 10 commenters---bigoted christers with incredibly clean buttholes who spend their days commenting on EVERY SINGLE FREAKING ARTICLE---or are all the futjobs just attracted to AOHell?

The funniest, maybe saddest, but certainly the snarkiest part of it is the content of the comments.

For example (and YES! this is real!):

"The solidity of family is all but about gone. Pretty soon humans will be procrastinating like apes each jumping from one sex partner to thenext having children whenever and whomever . It's really sad. My own son is having a baby with a gal who has two other boys with two different fathers. Hollywood seems to be everyone jumping in bed with homever they co-star with, married or not, so when kids have roll models like this, is it any surprise?"

"Roll" models? Like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, perhaps?

And how exactly does one "procrastinate" like an ape?

Heh.

16 comments:

Sadderbutwisergirl said...

hahahaha! What a funny story! AOHell, procrastinating, "roll" models! This is too much. I've got to put my coffee down before it blows out of my nose...

Stinkypaw said...

Too sad to be funny actually...

Happy to see you back though!

Mary said...

I've procrastinated like an ape, and let me tell you, you stink like hell afterward.

Ape: "Naw, I'll finish this banana tomorrow..."

Joanna Jenkins said...

Woo-hoo! You're back.
xoxo

LB @Wait, She Said What? said...

Hey, the crazy people have to rant and rave somewhere! Take a look at just about any category on yahoo answers and it's a never-ending supply. Go to the religion section and you'll leave with a headache.

Glad your back! :o)

Rootietoot said...

the comments in USAtoday devolve in the same way. It's really, really predictable. I'm going to go procrastinate with my husband now.

Charlie said...

Quite simply, man (and woman) have not fully evolved from the slime yet.

I was worried about you, wondering how badly damaged the front of the bus that hit you was, and that nearly brought a tear to my eye—but then I remembered what happened the last time you made me cry . . .

Ambitious Blonde said...

I stay on AOHell just to poke the nutjobs with a sharp stick. It's an excellent way to decompress after a 12 hour hell shift at the hospital. :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Glad you're back!

If it wasn't this... said...

Heelarious ! Glad to see you :)

Brenda said...

ahahaha. procrastinating like an ape might be fun. :-)

Big Pissy said...

Oh, that's funny!

Glad you're back! :)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi, I'm just back from a 5 day vacation. Hope all's well. xoxo

imfunnytoo said...

It's very hard to jump off that AOL diving board, but I did it in '01 and haven't looked back since...

Be Free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

ntsc said...

Glad to see you

Cindra said...

lol.... I think i actually snorted on this one....lol.... roll? lol.... too funny! ...and what you say is so true.... sadly... but then where would we get our WTF? and head shaking chuckles?