Thursday, May 21, 2009

Devil 1, Angel 0

Ok, one last repost to get me through the week...yippee, it's almost over! Mentioning Kim at the Yellow Trash Diaries a week or so ago made me feel nostaligic for this oldie. Catch up to you in a few!

Ever have a moment when you feel like you have a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angel on the other arguing about whether or not you should do something?

It happens to me quite frequently.

I blame my adoption.

I clocked a lot of road miles this summer driving the Big Kid back and forth to college classes down in the city. I think I put more mileage on my car in the last two months than I have in the last 2 years.

Obviously I don't get out of our little town a lot.

On one of the interminable drives back home, the Big Kid was sitting in the back seat telling me what he learned that day in Biology class. It had been a really long day, and I was hot, exhausted, and fighting bumper to bumper tourista traffic back into the mountains.

Did you know that hairy knuckles are genetic?


Yes, we all compared them in class. Mine are pretty hairy.

I looked at my hands on the steering wheel. "I don't have any hair on mine."

Does my dad have hairy knuckles?

"No." I would have definitely noticed THAT when we were married. Ew.

Well then how did I get them?

This was the moment I was talking about above. Angel on one side Devil on the other. What to do, what to do....

This time the little devil won.

"You can get hairy knuckles from excessive masturbation. Didn't your teacher tell you that?"

Are you SERIOUS????

"Well yeah, everybody knows that. And even worse, it'll make you grow hair on your palms."


I glance in the rear-view mirror.

He's scrutinizing the palms of his hands. It's taking everything I have not to bust out laughing.

Mom, are you sure?

"I'm surprised you didn't learn it in your sex-ed class back in high school. You must not have been paying attention that day."

He was pretty quiet the rest of the way home.

Later that night, I mention the conversation to Hubby (who chastised me for letting the little devil win this time), and I solemnly promised to clue the kid in before his next Biology class just in case he felt the need to mention it to his professor.

The next day, the Big Kid was bent over the bathroom sink examining his eyeballs.



When we went to get my eye exam a couple of months ago, was there a change in my contact prescription?


Are you sure?

As you can tell, this is a line he uses frequently.


Can I see it?

"What's wrong?"

I dunno. Everything just seems to be a little bit blurrier.

"Maybe it's time to change your 30-day contacts. Let's keep an 'eye' on it, shall we?" I chortled at my own lame humor.

I remarked on the eye thing to Hubby in passing. He turned bright red and looked sheepish.

Rut Row.

"What?" I asked. "What did you do?"

Big Kid had come to him early in the morning to ask him about hairy knuckles.

Did you know you can get hairy knuckles and palms from too much, you know....?

Hubby acknowledged that he was indeed in possession of that little tidbit of information.

"It can also make you go blind", he added.

Oh no.

We're going straight to hell for that one!

Thank goodness the kid has a sense of humor...


Joanna Jenkins said...

I am laughing out loud!!!!! I can't wait to hear your kid's response when you finally set him straight. And as they say, paybacks are a bitch so watch out :-)

Brenda said...

Hahahaha, mind if I use these tactics in the near future?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...


You've got me roaring with laughter over here!

ntsc said...

As a former teenaged boy, that was just darned mean.

Funny though

KL said...

Knowing Big Kid....I can picture so much of that!!! ROFLMAO!!!

oh and because I know I should:


*walks away giggling maniacally over it all still*

Frau said...

OMG I laughed so hard! I love when the devil wins! Isn't our job to mess with the youngns!

Traceytreasure said...

Hysterical!! Your kids are lucky to have you!! Laughter IS the best medicine.


Yellow Trash Diaries said...

My kids are still so young that I can't imagine having this conversation with them ever- all I can think about is the Seinfeld where George's mother walks in and catches him. Ugh- my eyes!

Kim Ayres said...

I looked at my knuckles to see how hairy they are, but my eyesight's not what it was...

Pete said...

you're pure evil

Chris H said...

You are BOTH EVIL... and I love it!
Poor boy... is he still going blind and growing palm hair???

Phil said...

Our kids torture us, it's only fair to return the favor!

Wendy said...

My son just turned 13 and I have been waiting for him to start asking questions of this nature so I can do this to him!! (the little devil on my shoulder always wins!)

imfunnytoo said...

As usual, you are teh funny.