Monday, May 26, 2008


It's over, it's finally over! Yippee!

The graduation was lovely. It was held at a performing arts center down in the big city, and was wall-to-wall people.

Of course, typical to form, all my ex-in-laws arrived much later than scheduled, so Hubby and Mom went in to try to save some seats while I waited outside with the tickets so they could get in. When they finally got there, we couldn't FIND the family at first, but got sorted out at the last minute.

I got my wish. Like I said, I adore my ex-MIL, but didn't want her anywhere near the video camera. Luckily, my Mom got some seats on a different level and sat there with all the in and out-laws.

Hubby got seats in the balcony. Found him, and Big Kid and I got settled right before everything started.

Then Big Kid had a massive panic attack. I don't blame him a bit. These seats were HIGH and steep. And not only were they high, but they were designed so that everyone could have an unobstructed view, and the heads of the people in the next row down were pretty much between our feet. It gave the illusion that you could stand up, make a wrong step and fall right off the balcony, even though we were three rows from the edge.

Told the Big Kid to move over a seat to the end, so he could grasp on the railing. We held hands between the empty seat. I got a little bit of vertigo myself. For a few moments I was afraid I was going to yark some Diet Coke into the back of the head of the woman in front of me.

The ceremony was really nice. Little Guy's class gave him a standing ovation when he was called to get his diploma.

I cried my eyes out, of course. We are so proud of him.

The next day, we held an open house between 11am and 2pm. Lots of friends dropped by to congratulate Little Guy and wish him the best. Again, true to form, all the ex-in-laws showed up at 1:30pm, and stayed for about 4 hours after everyone else had gone. ::sigh::

My ex-FIL and ex-MIL got into it (they've been divorced for at least 35 years), and at one point we thought she might just knock his block off (she's like 5 feet tall in heels and he was 6'4 in his prime, but have to allow for some shrinkage). He was pompously "advising" everyone on retirement income tips and kept insisting that her "current" husband (of 30 years) had been dishonorably discharged after 14 years in the Navy. Not true, and she got supremely pissed off when he constantly reiterated it. No wonder.

Then we thought ex-hubby and ex-FIL might come to blows. Scared the kids a bit. Old family crap that has never been resolved but plays out during the infrequent times they all get together. feh. Amazingly enough, no alcohol was served at all. But like we've said before---there IS no pill for "asshole". I think it runs in the family.

We finally got rid of them when ex-hubby and ex-MIL took the kids to dinner and a movie (they came together). No reason for ex-FIL to stay, so they all left at the same time.

As an aside: I KNEW ahead of time (because I know this family) that ex-hubby and I had to have a plan in advance. He was staying with his mom for this trip, and hadn't seen the boys in a year. He wanted to spend some time with them on this very short visit, but didn't want to spend time with his dad, who has historically tried to take over and "decide" what everyone was going to do.

I had said to ex, "we have to have a united plan, because if we don't, you know your dad is going to try to hang out here while you're out with the boys, and then try to rope you into doing what he wants you to do the minute you all come back. I won't have it. Hubby won't have it."

Now mind you, twice during these 4 after-party hours, ex-FIL went into the bathroom for like 20-30 minutes. The second time around, I declared to ex-hubby that if his dad had fallen down in there, he better not expect either Hubby or I to go in there and pick him up. Fortunately, ex-FIL was ok, and emerged on his own.

15 minutes after we got rid of them all (successfully, we thought), and hubby and I had kicked our shoes off and were trying to relax, ex-FIL CAME BACK and announced that he thought he'd need to use our facilities again before getting on the road.

DOH!! No problem. ::sigh::

30 minutes later, after emerging again (at about 6pm), he tried to sit down and engage us in a discussion about the gold standard, and do just exactly what I predicted he'd do. Hubby, bless his heart, kindly but firmly ushered him out of the house and deposited him in the front seat of his car. And stood on the porch waving until ex-FIL drove away.

I opened the door to the bathroom to go in and open the window and let the fug out. On the floor in front of the toilet was a skillion pieces of potato chips.

WTF? Was he shoveling them in as fast as he could poop them out or what? yeck! How bizarre is that?

On Sunday, I woke up with a big huge bloom of herpes blisters all over my lower lip, along with the achy flu crap that goes along with these kinds of outbreaks. I spent most of the day in bed. Today too.

I can't remember the last time I had an outbreak like this.

Oh wait.

Yes I can.

It was the last time we had this whole crew together at BIG KID'S graduation!


Hope you had a great weekend!


Angela said...

Great on the graduation but you must be glad it is all over.

Manager Mom said...

Congrats on surviving the graduation!

mrsb said...

Congrats on the graduation -- and for keeping a sense of humor over the rest!

Pete said...

obviously well done Little Guy

you guys make SUCH a fuss about it. I just left!

imfunnytoo said...

Poor's hoping real life is better :)

Melissa said...

Congratulations to Little Guy--and to you for coordinating, refereeing, accomodating and commandeering the event for his pleasure! You have a free pass now until somebody gets married, right?:)

Traceytreasure said...

Oh I'm sending you big hugs, ATM! Thanks for stopping by, no you didn't miss any body being mean. I'm just getting too old to deal with them so that was a warning of sorts in that post.
I almost cried when you said that LG received a standing ovation! How awesome is that?
Eating on the toilet? Look on the bright side. At least he wasn't rotting?? LOL???
As for your mouth sores. My hubby used to get them too. He read that Kiwi fruit help stop the sores and he's been eating them ever since. He hasn't had one sore since eating kiwi fruit!! So glad you survived your weekend. Big hugs, T

La La said...


I have to say I laughed out loud a few times.

Glad you got through it and got to rest after it was all over!

I know I don't know you, but it is fun reading your stories.

I hope those fever blisters heal soon! I hate it when I get those things.

La La said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gonzo said...


Mr. Fabulous said...

Very cool! Awesome, in fact.

better if you had yakked the Diet Coke, though...

Jan said...

Wow, what a day. Congrats to Little Guy. Hope there's no more reasons to see ex-FIL, until Big Guy gets married. Maybe you could encourage elopement.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you had an exhaustive, eventful, and exciting weekend. I'm so proud of Little Guy! WTG!

I hope you feel better soon, love.

carmachu said...

Congrats to little guy! So what are his next plans?

Oh and now we see were big kid gets the assholeness.....and here we thought it came from you! :D

shirley said...

yowch! too many ex-BIG LETTERS, I'm dizzy. ;P it's like a carnival ride!

Deb said...

Congrats on the graduation and the survival!

The sores suck, I used to get them, but my doctor told me to take 500mg of L-Lysine every day, haven't had one in years!

Valerie Marie said...

Poor ATM! I'm feeling with you! You were fantastic, I'm sure!
ps.I almost cry as I read "standing ovation". You must be so proud. I'm proud of you too: you're the best Mom ever! Kisses!

phlegmfatale said...

YAYS! Congrats to Little Guy and congrats to all of you for supporting him through it, even unto sitting in the nosebleed section!

Now, remind us why your ex MIL & FIL aren't still married? Just kidding. What a tedious bunch of pains in the ass! I'm sure you were extremely gracious, even though they were very rude.

Ah, bless you!

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Your family gives you Herpes? Mine gives me Hives. I hear you.

Congrats to Little Guy!!! WOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you got to relax a little after this.

Stinkypaw said...

Happy to read the grad ceremony was a success & it must have been very touching to see that standing ovation for Little Guy...

No wonder you broke out in blisters, stress can do marvellous things! Do take care my dear, and try to relax and enjoy life a little...

Jennifer H said...

Congratulations to Little Guy!

Too bad the relatives couldn't have been more gracious. (And chips in the bathroom? Crazy.)

I hope you can relax now and take care of yourself.

Jezebel said...

Congratulations to Little Guy! How cool that his graduating class gave him a standing ovation!

And congratulations to YOU too for surviving yet another family event! My ex used to break out in those wonderful sores too when he was stressed! I do have to say, your story was very entertaining despite "the outbreak"! Hope you're feeling better!

I guess this is a time when you're thankful that you don't have any more children and don't have to have anymore family gatherings, lol.

Brenda said...

I got teary when I read that Little Guy got a standing ovation. It was well deserved.

Get some rest now young lady!

Anonymous said...

I love that Little Guy got a standing ovation. That is priceless. I would have cried too! You must have been beaming.

Too funny about your in-laws. I think you need a vacation, after that family reunion.

Feel better.