Thursday, May 22, 2008

Pomp and Circumstance

I know, I know, I've been MIA.

Been trying to finish up everything for the school year. Receptions, teas, breakfasts for the graduates.

Plus trying to arrange everything for the ex-in-laws and outlaws so nobody kills each other. ;-) Imagine a group of people who only meet up on occasions like this and are barely civil to each other.

Imagine them all with ADD.

"You never paid a dime in child support and I should go to court to...hey, was that a hummingbird?"

"I didn't pay child support you SOB, because you kept the kids from me and all the assets from our marriage---like the car, the house, the retirement fund...wow do you think that woman's hair is her natural color or is it dyed? I don't think hair actually comes in that color!"

Little Guy is graduating tomorrow, and then we have a party planned for the following day. And as much as I adore my ex-MIL, I have to find a way to keep her as far away from the video camera as possible. Or else I'll have to duct tape her mouth.

The running commentary we recorded from Big Kid's graduation drowned out all the speeches. Seriously. "Ah, look at the Bishop's hat. Is he Catholic? I thought this was an Episcopal school (not that it matters--we're all Protestant). And the robes! Covers up all kinds of sins. Hehehe. Doesn't look like he's missed any meals, does it? Look at the hat that woman is wearing! Should we have worn hats? Do you think she's Catholic? I think the man behind us farted. Do you smell anything?"

Then once we pack everybody off, I'll finally get a chance to breathe and come visit you all.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend! Keep safe!


ATM

24 comments:

Stinkypaw said...

Congrats to Little Guy & enjoy every moment!

Jennifer H said...

Congratulations to Little Guy.

Plus, you should get a cap and gown for surviving all the outlaws. :-)

BaLQiz said...

Hahahahahahahahha! I love this post! Hhahahahahhahahaha make me see ADD in a lighter note Hahahhahahahhaha

Cheri said...

Oh! Soooooo funny. Dialog just like our family.

I strongly suggest letting the ex-MIL do the narration on the graduation video. WAY better than the speeches.

Jezebel said...

OY! Good luck!

And congrats to the graduate!!

carmachu said...

Congrats to the littel guy for graduating!

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Are we related?
Congrats to little guy and to Mom for nerves of steel during all of this.

Beth said...

Enjoy the graduation!
May everything go as smoothly as possible (i.e. not as you anticipate).
Congrats to the Little Guy.

Melissa said...

Good luck! And congratulations!
And thank you for making me laugh--your portrayal of the family cracked me up! They sound hilarious--the judgmental statements, the in fighting, hey! Did I just see a dust bunny roll by?

Big Pissy said...

Congrats to Little Guy!

....and this post cracked me UP! Can't wait to hear what they say at this event. ;-)

Brenda said...

You stay safe too!

Heather said...

Congratulations to Little Guy! :] And you, you totally deserve the congrats.. i cannot wait to hear how this fun event goes. i know you'll have stories. HA HA HA HA.

and stop by when you get a chance :]

marymurtz said...

YAY!!! Go Little Guy, GO!!!

This post made me laugh out loud, too; I think your ex-MIL might be my mother.

Eileen said...

Congratulations to Little Guy!!! YAY!!!

I almost fell off the bed from laughing so hard. What a great post. I'll be thinking of you.

XOXO

warcrygirl said...

Congrats Little Guy! And I hear you about ex-MIL; I recently made a video at a local balloon festival and right when the balloon righted itself and launched a couple of 14 year old girls stood right next to me and began screeching "SARA! SAAAARRRAAA!!!!!" I just turned the damn camera off.

La La said...

Hysterical dialog and we can all relate!

Found you at "A Life of Triggers."

Traceytreasure said...

Good Luck and Happy Graduation!

Congratulations to YOU and Little Guy!

Graduations always make me cry.

Have a great weekend and you stay safe too! Hugs!

Angela said...

oh my family is fun

Valerie Marie said...

Congratulations to LG !!!
This post made me laugh out loud!
Whish you all the best and the best nerves!!! ((ATM))

Ann(ie) said...

HA! Inlaws and Outlaws. So beautifully put!

CONGRATS to LG!!

Happy Long weekend.


;)

Rootietoot said...

Yay for graduating and surviving sanity intact! I hope it all went well, and no one said anything they shouldn't have.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

GOOD LUCK! Hope your refereeing job goes smoothly!

Michael Manning said...

I remember 1999 well. Walking across that stage. It was worth it CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Jana B said...

ROFL your description of the running commentary during Big Kid's graduation reminds me of what happens when my friends and I go to church.

Hehehe I feel so less alone now!!!!!