Trees messing up your view?
Just hire a crew to come and cut them down!
That's what Lake Tahoe resident Patricia Vincent did. The Asshat hired a professional crew to cut down 3 ponderosa pines---estimated to be 80 to 100 years old---to enhance her scenic view.
Except that it was on someone else's property.
Whose property, you my ask?
Well OUR property. Yours and mine (and well, I guess, theoretically as a taxpayer, hers too). The trees were a part of a special lot of national forest designated by the Forest Service as environmentally sensitive.
She faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. And I hope a good public shunning from her neighbors as well.
I think the second Asshat deserves an extra-special Richard Cranium award.
Water board member Xavier Alvarez bragged at a public meeting that he was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor while serving as a Marine, which is the military's highest honor.
I don't know who keeps track of that stuff, but apparently it's a pretty serious offense if you lie about it. Especially if you're an elected official.
Alvarez was later charged with the Stolen Valor Act of 2005 after admitting that he not only didn't win the medal, but had never served at all.
You'd think that after getting caught with his pants down, the doofus would just take his lumps like a big boy.
The Stolen Valor Act "violates" his right to be a lying douchebag. It's a free speech thing, you know.
So in Alvarez's mind, the soldiers who risk life and limb to protect his First Amendment rights are doing it so that he can benefit from the respect and reflected glory by claiming the award if he damn well feels like it.
"...But government prosecutors said in their opposition submitted Wednesday that the First Amendment does not protect deliberate falsehoods."
And I bet there are a few soldiers who'd like a private word with you too, Mr. Alvarez.
As an afterthought, my campus bookstore deserves an honorable mention for some Asshattery as well. I wrote about it over here on Disaboom.