Tuesday, December 01, 2009
gah! I guess I really gave a wrong impression about Kitty with my bout of annoyance with her. My apologies.
As a mom, I struggle with this relationship. But my son is 22 years old, and it's not my decision to make. If I want to keep a close relationship with him, I have to support some of his choices, and be there for him if it doesn't work out. When they started dating, I wrote about her here, if anyone wants a little background.
She never wanted Big Kid's friend to stay at her house. I don't blame her a bit. She works two jobs, and wants some peace and quiet when she gets home. Big Kid talked her into it, because he's fearful and lonely when she isn't around and he doesn't drive. The "friend" had been kicked out of his own home and had been living off the kindness of friends for awhile. He knew a good thing when he saw it.
He ate all their food, didn't clean up after himself, and contributed nothing to the household. He even brought a freaking dog there, because he "always wanted a dog, and his mom wouldn't let him have one". He helped himself to Kitty's things, and started expecting her to haul his happy butt around in her car. She refused, and then there would be these two-against-one episodes. Not a good situation.
About 2 weeks into Big Kid's illness, when it became clear that it could be weeks or months before he could come back, Kitty told the "friend" it was time to move on. He wasn't her child, her sibling, or her significant other, and it wasn't her lot in life to support him. She didn't realize when he cleared out that he took some of Big Kid's stuff with him.
I'm not mad at Kitty because Big Kid's stuff was stolen. Those are only things and things can be replaced. I was just really annoyed at her timing, knowing that a large part of Big Kid's successful recovery will depend on his state of mind. He's my baby, and it's my job to be concerned about these things.
Big Kid doesn't want to go to the rehabilitation center, so the plan is that he's going to come home to our house for awhile. Our family doctor is going to take over his treatment, and his office is now an hour in the opposite direction. I can't and won't drive 6 hours in a day to pick Big Kid up from Kitty's house and get him back to see the doctor, especially if we have to do this a couple of times a week.
Plus, Kitty still has to work two jobs, and it wouldn't be a good idea to leave the kid alone for extended periods. At our house, he'll have somebody available around the clock, plus he'll be getting home health care and in-home therapy (and someone to help make sure he follows through with it). Kitty's more than welcome to come and stay over if she wants.
Yesterday they took out the pic line and removed the bandages from the Kid's throat. Early this morning, they're going to take out the stomach tube. Thank heavens. They had it capped off and just hanging for a few days, and it was causing him pain. I finally asked them to tape it to his body so it wouldn't move around.
He's been working with ankle weights and was able to walk to the therapy room (about 4 doors down) by himself. His legs are gaining strength, but his balance is off. They've been trying to wean him off the oxygen, but he only lasts an hour or so before his saturation level goes under 80. He still can't write. His hands are shaking all of the time.
But all in all, progress!
Thanks so much for your continued kind wishes and support.