Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Day 5

Another morning, and Big Kid still hanging in there. I can't begin to tell you how touched we've been by all of your comments and well wishes. Thank you so very much.

Kitty, Big Kid's girlfriend, sat with us yesterday. I refused to allow her into his room until she went to the doctor and got a clean bill of health. Maybe that sounds harsh, but since she and Big Kid were sharing space, I was worried not only that she might be ill, but that she might bring something into the ICU. She couldn't get an appointment with her doc for almost a week, so she went to the emergency room and waited three hours until she could be seen. She's ok, thank goodness.

I have to say that sitting vigil with her was a trying experience. Not her fault, she's a very sweet person. But she has some kind of nervous tic that kills the switch that controls her indoor voice. And the more anxious she gets, the more she has to talk.

Every time a new doctor or RT or specialist or whatever came in to talk to me, they couldn't figure out who to address as his mother. I could see their eyes shift back and forth between us, so I'd stick out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Attila. I'm Big Kid's mom."

And Kitty would stick hers out next and blast, "AND I'M KITTY. I'M BIG KID'S GIRLFRIEND!"

Then their eyes would shoot back to me. After about the 4th time, I didn't have a cringe left in me.

gah. For those of you new here, Kitty is 5 years older than I am. Long story, think bad country song, and I'm not going to go into my struggles with this relationship now. I know it's kind of funny when you think about the scenario, and maybe one day we'll look back and laugh, but right now, I'm all out.

Big Kid's temp is now normal, as is his heart rate. They took him off the medication that was keeping his blood pressure up, and he's holding his own there.

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to keep up his oxygen levels at 70% oxygen, and they had to put him back up to 80%.

Two steps forward, one step back.

He was much more active on the new sedation, and was agitated easily. He kept trying to get himself out of bed.

I took Kitty out to lunch, and when we got back, Big Kid's room was full of people. And a new, big, machine that was screaming. People were rushing around, passing tools and tubes and talking in low urgent voices.

I swear to God, I thought he'd crashed. The world just dropped out from underneath me.

As it turns out, the doctor was unhappy with his oxygen maintenance and decided to try him on an oscillating ventilator----one they use for premature babies. Instead of 12 big breaths a minute, it emits 300 small "puffs". It's supposed to be gentler on the lungs, but they have to medically paralyze him to use it. The machine is very loud, and the effect on his body looks somewhat violent.

There wasn't a crisis that precipitated this, it was just something the doctor thought might work better. They had to turn his oxygen up to 100% and it was still at that level when I left a few hours later.

Hubby came shortly after and stayed until late in the night. By the time he got home, they had dialed the oxygen back to 80%. When I called at 3am this morning, he was down to 60%, although he was having trouble maintaining if he was moved.

Small steps. Small miraculous steps. Stable is good. Stable is good.

Thank you again for all of your notes of support and hope.

34 comments:

Willoughby said...

Stable is great news! Keep hanging in there!

My daughter was a micro-preemie. I know how frustrating the oxygen ups and downs can be.

Hugs, prayers and well wishes!

Clippy Mat said...

small steps in the right direction.
thinking of you and big kid today.
stay strong.
:-)

Beth said...

Things are sounding so much better.
The power of love, prayer and a strong young man...

Rootietoot said...

Stable is good!

Poor Kitty, she's probably as nervous around you as your are annoyed by her.

Stable is very good! Temp down, heart rate down! BP up! all excellent news!and I know this is true because I am a veterinarian's daughter and that makes me a quasi-expert!

Stable is good, two steps forward and one back is still one forward.

Stable is good.

Charlie said...

Martha and I don't stop thinking and pulling for him . . .

Karen said...

Stable is good, so are small steps.

More small steps today. He will get better.

Hugs to you all

Litzi said...

Slow and Steady will win the race. Prayers and thoughts are with the Attila Family...

Holly (me.) said...

Having visited from Green Girl's blog, your tale reminds me of our days watching a vent breathe for our youngest daughter. I'll keep you and your Big Kid in my prayers.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Slow but sure. Stable is good. Hang in there with Kitty and the chaos and the exhaustion I'm guessing you must feel. My prayers are still flying your way and I'm cheering you on.

With everything going on I can't thank you enough for taking the time to keep us updated. You are an amazing mom and a great friend.

xoxoxoxoxox

Chicago Mom said...

I said a prayer for you all in chapel this morning. Slow and steady will win the race, stable is good!

Ashley's Mom said...

Stable is GOOD...he's holding his own and that is also GOOD. Now you just hold his hand and know we are all out here praying and pulling for you all.

Deborah

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Stable is very good. My prayers are being said for Big Kid and your family.

Frau said...

I hope stable turns into something even better. Prayers and hugs continuing.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Is it wrong that I laughed at the part where you explain about the gf's lack of indoor voice?

but offt! My heart goes out to you and your son. stable is good, stable is good. I hope he heals soon and all of this nightmare will be over with.

take care.

amy said...

I want to keep reading good news :) Good for you to make her get cleared first.

LB @Wait, She Said What? said...

Small steps are still steps forward! The body takes time to heal and that's something you just can't rush. He's stable though. Just keep saying that to yourself and hope very soon you'll replace it with, "he's fine. he's completely fine."

Prayers are still heading your way.

Newbius said...

Atilla,

We're keeping BigKid and your family in our prayers.

Hang in there.

Pax,

Newbius

St Jude said...

Stable is very good hun. Love and hugs to all of you.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Progress...still praying for you and calm and wisdom and strength and patience and healing.

Kim Ayres said...

My thoughts are continually with you

Kathy said...

Any bit of progress is good news, I am always thinking of your boy and his family!

Anonymous said...

Thinkin of you and your family keeping you in my prayers


Long time reader

rambling rose

Anonymous said...

Thank YOU for keeping us readers updated. You have been a wonderful virtual friend and you have many out here as well.

Sara

Anna said...

My goodness, I don't check blogs for a week and looks what happens!

Sounds like things are getting better though. Here's hoping for more progress.

Wish I could do something to help. :/

Selma said...

My husband was in a bad bike accident a few years back. Had one collapsed lung and a clot on the other. His oxygen levels fluctuated a lot but were more or less stable. Stable is very good. Sending more prayers your way.

Jeanie said...

Be sure you take care of yourself so you can take care of him.

Joanie M said...

You have a LOT of people praying for your son. Stay strong, don't forget to eat and try to get some rest. And don't forget to breathe. hugs.

Hilary said...

Keep thinking positively. I'm continuing to send my best mom thoughts. They're strong stuff. So is your boy. Think positive.

Maggie May said...

I keep coming back and can't wait to hear that your boy is all right.
Praying for you and for him.

Chris H said...

So glad he's still holding his own.. even with the ventilator... he's holding!
I don't know how you cope with the "Older Girlfriend" I really don't! I take my hat off to you.

Joe said...

Thinking positive thoughts for Big Kid and the rest of you.

Alix said...

Stable is very good. I'm thrilled that he is improving, but will continue to hit my knees and keep the prayers coming. The Kitty thing is very weird. Major props to you for enduring that and taking her to lunch. God will reward you for that.

jacqui said...

ATM, I have every pray in my hoping you get through this. J

ntsc said...

thoughts are with you. be strong