Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A New Definition for Lard-Ass

Now I'm not making fun of people who have too much junk in their trunk, especially because I'm one of them.

The only reason I didn't join Nikki's "Operation Lose That Ass" a couple of months ago was because I couldn't decide on what cheek to sacrifice!

...and I didn't want to give up the macaroni and cheese.

After reading an article today, I'm going to rethink that.

A 600-lb man was being cremated in Salt Lake City recently, and when his uh--jiggly parts--heated up they liquefied, and were too much for the oven. They overran the chamber and seeped onto the floor.

Where they promptly burst into flames.

Firefighters rarely see this kind of fire, but "It really does condense or break down that fat into a greasy product, just like a grease fire," said a representative of the department. "Only a little bit can cause a flame to go up."

Ew. How embarassing. I don't think I could live with that.

I know I'd be dead, but still. I'd hate my legacy to be a punchline in someone's joke when they pointed to a grease spot on the floor.

So pass the carrot sticks, please!


Me said...

I am getting on that treadmill first thing tomorrow.

quinn said...

ewwwww that was not a good visual.

TxGoodie said...

You're still the best, AT-Mom!

I'm wondering just how large is the opening to those ovens??


Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

OH.MY.GAWD. That is just disgusting enough to motivate me. Thanks. Give the carrot sticks over here!


Big Pissy said...

Good GAWD!!!!

Ick Ick Ick! :(

abfh said...

Eww, eww, eww, eww!

I'm walking over to my refrigerator to get some carrot sticks too... if I can eat anything after reading that!

Stinkypaw said...

Yuck!!! How much fat is that to seep though like that? *Gag*

carmachu said...

Thats hysterical....

Tracie said...

That is rough!
That has got to be one of the nastiest things I have heard

Kate said...


Mind you I had to chuckle at this bit:

"The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed."

Well, of course he wasn't, he was dead, doh!

Ma Titwonky said...